Virtual Ship

[Michael Lawrence]

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day,
Thou art more lovely
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May
And summer's least has to short a date
SOMETIMES TOO HOT THE EYE OF HEAVEN SHINES
And often is his gold complexion dimmed.
And all that's fair from fair declines.
Beneath his changing course untrimmed

Very much like us bunch of old faggots. Still a gleam in the eye but nothing in the slingshot not even blanks.
Well lads have moved in and have the dock yard maties( builders) giving us a refit. They are putting a large lounging accomodation on the aft end( conservatory) and fwd hope to convert the paint locker(garage) into a cabin with view. At the moment I share the floor with the cat. Have asked to swing a hammock but she who must be obeyed said, 'None of those funny seamen practises 'ere'. Weather gone all funny which is normal for this part of the world. Ten days ago I was with the grandchildren swimming in the open air lido at Street, now wrapped up in blankets
Must go lads as nature calls and Good King Hal has asked us to 'Once more unto the breech dear friends or fill this gap up with our English dead. Funny that has he asked the Irish, Scots and Welsh to lead the charge. Ah well you know how devious a bunch they are. Must go and fill in my expenses for the 'Ouse of Commons commitee to look at. Keep safe lads and don't take any bent euros or should that read MPs' Mike

[happy daze john in oz]

Yes Taff I know all about the toilet paper shortage. Vernon has taken to writing long, very long, letters. But worse than that he has been collecting all the incoming mail, steaming the stamps off and using condensed milk to stick them on his letters. The playboy mags have all been removed as some bright spark tried to photocopy the bunnies in there with the idea of using them in rabbit stew. So it will be wet grass in the dunny, and cold hard tab nabs for tea, again.

[Doc Vernon]

Dont know about the condensed Milk thing John,as i only Eat that stuff (the real thing that is haha!)
I will hold up my hand for writing long letters in the Kasie! and also for collecting al the Stamps i can get! Short of a Quid you see!
Now to get the Stamps to stick on my letters,well i have been down to the Galley and nicked some of the Flour! That is better than wasting all that lovely Milk! Yummy!!!
As for the Playboy Books and Bunnies,well i am sure i saw young Geoff in there not long ago,dont know what he wanted with all those Books?? Mmmm!!
Now now Geoff!!
There was someone else in there too just before us and tied the one Kasie Chain to the Doorknob,this making it very damp indeed in there today!
So who is the culprit! Come now own up as i have done haha!
Phew!! let me get out now!! Help!!!

[Les Woodard]

Are you sure that it was only the kasie chain that you where pulling Vern.

[Doc Vernon]

Not me Les! It was someone else haha!
Not Guilty!

[Geoff Anderson]

Hey lads.
I think it was our new skipper and les b anne, i saw them hanging about the heads earlier on. Maybe the are the phantom willy watchers our mothers told us about!!. I took a photo of them earlier on my broom phone camera, Have a look just in case they hang around again. And how was it that stuck all the pages of my playboys together.?
taffy 1eye trying to unstuck my stuck pages

[happy daze john in oz]

Taffy you must stop shaking it, the conensed milk that is, goodness knows what will get stuck up next. But we have a new problem on the port bow. There is a lifeboat wiith six polliwogs in it. Must have been hot as one is Brown, Les B Ann says one of them is a Darling and Alf swears one is a Pressed Scot. They claim their ship the S.S. Westminister was taken over by some right wing pirates who call them selves the Dead Neck People. Den is not sure we should allow them aboard and is up in the crows nest with his sling shot and a bucket of tab nabs ready to repel boaders. Only allow them on if the bilges need cleaning I say, and maybe they could unstick Taffy???? Vernon says they should walk the plank but all we have is his surf board and that looks as if the rats have been at it. So what to do lads????

[Michael Lawrence]

Hold hard there John. We have enough bilge rats down below without importing off the good ship Westminster. Suggest we tow said ship above the Marrianas trench and sink it along with its scurvy crew of 640 etc.,. Itrs like forgive and forget. sink 'em and forget 'em. Only trouble is we leave it open to those nasties from the BNP. Someone somewhere once wrote 'Patriotism is the flag of cowards' Someone else wrote 'Who knows of England who only England knows'. But we this 'Happy band' (another quotation, a botttle of our special 32 Bells if you know where from) have sailed to foreign shores, have tasted their ale, loved their women and shared their humour and know that under the skin colour we're all the same.
Well my happy and much valued band of brothers I chose to be with you and not thru an accident of birth. I share your humour and your worries along with some fears. Mind you won't share Den's tabnabs which by the way I've just spent money at the dentist for. He asked me if I had been chewing on a bri-- 'Virtuality' tabnab to which I had to confess NO No No a thousand times no. So lads must go shopping for the C/stwd of this ship I'm sailing on at the moment. She requires coffee, milk etc so I am now away with the fairies. Keep safe and keep writing . Mike

[Geoff Anderson]

Hi All.
What rock through yonder window breaks. As one of our famous admirals once said as he put the telescope to his blind eye, I see no ships only hard ships. I suggest we throw a few of Dens tabnabs at them, and then ignore them. After all they've ignored us from time immemorial. Let them row there own boat and see how they like it.
Hey Mike , i know where you read those quotes, It was on the dunny wall at the bottom of Bute St. Another was While you are reading this notice up here, your pissing on your shoes.
taffy1eye

[Les Woodard]

Well Mike talking of saying and the one you used about colour only being skin deep reminds of af the rest of that saying which went. Skin them. As for those boat people why not send them on their merry way to Oz as we have good receptions with boat people. They will either be sunk burnt or locked up and if they get through that scenario then they will be shipped to Easter Island for a few years. Sorry to hear that you have lost some of your enamel from eating the tab nabs as I thought you would have been the first to complain if we touched them as they are your bread and butter in the construction game. As for the playboy magazine well I will not be the one to point a finger but have noticed that when entering Geoff's cabin that the pages are not the only thing that are sticking as I thought that he had been eating crisps in his bunk when I sat on it. Ah well of to give Den a hand with the slingshot and see if we can hit a pollywog's expense account as that is the biggest target on the boat.