Virtual Ship

[Captain Gordon Whittaker]

Can we name her "Godelpus", and can I be "Old Man", with a total ban on "Logging"?
Captain Gordon.

[Doc Vernon]

Well i see we have someone who wants to take over our fine Ship!
Now Lads we need to get a meet together,and discuss this here new Cpt! Whiskers er i mean Wittaker! haha
He says that he will have no Floggings! er again Loggings! How the hell can we believe him!!!
Like all the promises we get from our Polies, mates this is a serious matter and we need to look into this!
I see he has a first name Gordon! Now does that tell us summin about him!
Is he perhaps a Gordons Gin Man,in that case we will have him as he will always be one under the Sheet! That way we can get away with Murder! No not him haha!
Welcome abaord Cpt,but for now just look around OK!
Cheers
Chief Steward!

Me thinks that name has been suggested befor!! (Godelpus!!)

[Geoff Anderson]

Hi All.
Well lads i see we have two ,yes two new members of crew. One for the engine room that makes 2 down there, well i think its 2. And one with ideas of being or Capt. Promises no floggings and no loggings, well thats a non starter for sure . Hows he going to log us we've never been paid, and as for flogging, well were used to that with Vernons wet lettuce leaves. I'm actually beginning to enjoy that experience.( Shut up you lot ).
I think that if he wants to be Capt, he ll have to have some qualifications,
1] Do you have your own ES SO road maps, 1960 version.
2] Can you handle women, IE, Les b Anne.she can be a bit of a handful at times.
3] do you have credit cards and if so how many?
4] Any good on making tab nabs.
5] Can you blow up inflatable dolls, without loosing your teeth.

We will also require 6 references from 6 individual people,of your character. these must include pub landlords , girls of the night, etc.
If the job is offered to you , you will have to do a 6 month probation period.
taffy 1eye
Ps We will have to ask Gulliver. as he might not want to stand aside, ?/

[happy daze john in oz]

Now Taffy, will that be a probation or rotation period. You know Les B Ann likes to rotate them all in turn, and no one knows who's turn it will be next. But we have to be careful who we appoint as skipper, he might be a plant from captain birdseye, and that would be one in the eye for you. He could be calling out for 'Findus' the fishermen and we did not even know they were lost.

[happy daze john in oz]

Well Gulliver, the lady you mention is located on the grave of a one time seaman by the name of Laurance Matheson. He had seen such a stone on his travels in parts south. I guess he died in the hope that she would be his revival piece. His grave is not far from me. For a consideration I am sure we could arrange for similar for any one interested. What could be better on a dark night in a cemetry than to meet with her?

[Gulliver]

Ar,me old mate Cap'n Gordon(Whiskers) Whittaker.

MY NOTICE OF CHANGE OF COMMAND

Dear Sir,You are hereby appointed Command of the m.v.VIRTUALITY ,just as soon as you make it out here somewhere in the Deudecanese(last noted position).
Arrangements already(in hand....) for change of vessel's name to GODELPUS...call sign H.E.L.P.

Our Cruise/Crews Director,Sir Michael Lawrence will be pleased to assist you in your daunting task ahead,(he's currently re-berthing his Thames Flatty somewhere in Somerset for him and his Welsh Rose:whilst our illustrious Pusser Chief Thief...er Steward. Mr Vernon(Elf) Macdonald).will be able to supply you with a nearly-up-to-date Crew List.

I've tried,how I've tried to whip this lot into shape,they have the makings of a good crew,but somehow it never shone through.I can't quite put my hooked finger on it My seagoing career has been exemplary-well,apart from the time I went hard-a cardboard mid-Channel and stuck on the Goodwins.How was I to know that that ship heading straight for me was the South Goodwin Light Vessel!

Conditions

1.You must take great care of the ship's complete set of 1960 Esso Road Maps(corrected up to 1971).
2.You must continue the training of our new-fangled female cadet,Ms.Les B.Anne,to enable her to gain her Mistresses Certificate.
3.You must make available that first-class balcony suite on X Deck for my continuing 'cruise' aboard here.
I promise not to interfere (.I spend a lot of my time locked in the Lazaret with my 8 Bells). I may from time to time emerge from my closet....er Lazaret ,but don't let that put you off.
4. Please try and recruit those who have indicated their desire to join.....that chap 'watts watts' or who's which or whoever,doesn't know whether he's steam or motor...Excellent.
Try to head for Barrow-in Furness to pick up young Jim.He's indicated a previous desire not to sign on, so sounds just the job!
5. You indicate a desire for no Loggings(Floggings....please I beseech you don't deprive /deprave the Crew of their daily entertainment.

That's it Sir.....I'll attach some of my favourite pix below as a souvenir.

Welcome Aboard,Sir!........hee-hee!

I remain...your obedient servant

Outgoing Captain(so I've been told!) Gulliver

[Gulliver]

Well Gulliver, the lady you mention is located on the grave of a one time seaman by the name of Laurance Matheson. He had seen such a stone on his travels in parts south. I guess he died in the hope that she would be his revival piece. His grave is not far from me. For a consideration I am sure we could arrange for similar for any one interested. What could be better on a dark night in a cemetry than to meet with her?

Thanks for that John....good to know some of us can keep track of all these posts!

That slab pic looks reallycool ! I don't think I'll be able to afford one quite like that though....dying's an expensive luxury these days....but I might just be able to afford an inflatable one!
Gull.

[Geoff Anderson]

Hey Gulliver.
And where do u think u are houses of commons. Done a five minute stint as EL Capitano. and you expect that cabin on x deck and room in the lazareat, no dought wanting us to pour out your 8 bells. Free food i expect thrown in ?. This is a working ship and plenty of it. Wait till i see Les b anne, ill tell her what you are up to. and i dont fancy your chances at all. She will most probiblly give you that cabin down aft, the one with that washing machine in it. You know the one, its got a china bowl and when you want to wash your gear u pull the hanging chain.. I dont know, and we moan and grown about pollies.
Taffy 1eye

[Gulliver]

Hey Gulliver.
And where do u think u are houses of commons. Done a five minute stint as EL Capitano. and you expect that cabin on x deck and room in the lazareat, no dought wanting us to pour out your 8 bells. Free food i expect thrown in ?. This is a working ship and plenty of it. Wait till i see Les b anne, ill tell her what you are up to. and i dont fancy your chances at all. She will most probiblly give you that cabin down aft, the one with that washing machine in it. You know the one, its got a china bowl and when you want to wash your gear u pull the hanging chain.. I dont know, and we moan and grown about pollies.
Taffy 1eye

Well Taffy One-eye Geoff in Horn of Plenty...I never expected such an outburst from one of our most-trussed crew-members,I expected more support .

I know Capt.Whittaker will have been absolukely gobsmacked to receive prospect of a command here so soon,probably accounts for the quietness from his end....... if you get my drift,but don't stand downwind of him!

Rank has its priveleges and I think as ex-skipper on here I've deserved a bit of luxury in my doteage.And,if it's any consolation I'll share my luxury suite with balcony , with Les B.Anne...there'll be no funny business there,then.

Do try and act a bit more graciously about all this,taffy 1-Eye.
Join me for a snifter later....8 Bells x 8 = 94 Bells....nothing wrong still with my mathematical brain then.

Regards Gulliver and Les B.Anne

[Michael Lawrence]

Ladies. Ladies or is that Laddies. I'm still adrift in the wilds of Zummersat( can't find it on the 'Old Old Old Man's chart of E.S.S.O. 62 ) but hoping to be rescued soonest from this strange area of doldrums and cyclones where I is at present. See the 'Old old old Man has put in for retirement and a Captain Whiskers is in charge. Very nice of the'O.O.O. M. to promote me before he left for the cabin with balcony(is that the crow's nest?). I only have one question is it hard working as cruise director and is that something like a pant(r)y man on one of those floating gin joints? Do I have to try out all the acts before engaging them and does that include the acrobats? Will I get more pay and does that mean double of zilch? Will see the DR ref., more and stronger pills and do I need niagra or viagra or in my case stronger finesteride to keep me in an upright position. Must close as theres a queue for the computers here in the library and they start charging after 1/2 hour. Mike