Virtual Ship

[Dennis McGuckin]

There I was, quietly having a spot of well deserved shore leave. Suddenly a threating private message from no less than the bl**dy galley boy. Telling me to get back on board or else.Think he is in for a spot of hard work and a kick up the butt when I do come on board.Thats if I can find the little bu**er.He's never around when you need him.Come to think of it, I've never even met him.So where is the ship now,so I can sign on? Are the kegs of rum on board?If not, NO tab nabs this trip. I can hear the weeping and wailing and nashing of teeth from the crews mess.
Den.

[Doc Vernon]

Coming aboard! Opps!
Better sneak in the back way,i think someone is looking for me!
Have been ashore with a damn good Sheila,and Oh its so hard to come back here now after all that pampering! haha!
See all the Money i got for selling those Beans is now finished,(Oh now i am in strife) as i got Zilch left,and cannot get the necessary stores for the Grub and Booze!
So it looks like a Dry Trip Lads,and rations all round! EeeeeeeK
Actually besides a few of the Lads i dont see tpp many around here on board,me thinks that we will have a Skeleton crew this trip too!
So lets get underway,and get this damn Tramp to her destination ,quick smart now lads heave away!!

Egad's! now i think i am the Skipper too! OK i am a running Sir!!!

Boo hoo! Its only Den,and Daisyhop that remembered my Birthday too! Thanks mate! You lousy lot! LOL

[happy daze john in oz]

Skeleton crew, with you victualing the ship that is all we will have Vernon, they need food, you do know what that is I take it. As for Mike talking about Faggots and if we take Les B Anne back this ship will start to look like a very old and frsutrated Lavender lady. Now Vernon, get below and get the still going so we at least have some grog, and if you make enough we might have some to sell. But what ever you use do not use the seaweed from the port side, someone dropped a load of stale tab nabs over there.

[Doc Vernon]

Oh Damn!
The sill is now broken and i cannot get it fixed, seems like the whole thing blew apart!
Now its no Booze,No Babes,and no Breakfasts either! Ouchh!!
So its dry Bread for a few days till i can get all this sorted! (Actually got a hidden bottle of good Plonk) haha! Anyone interseted!

Have to run to get some stores,but where do i get Moolah!
Well i will have to make a plan of some sort!

(Actually i am off to see that Sheila haha) Got it bad!

Now i will definately be in strife,and a double DR!

Bye for now Lads see you a wee bit later!
Get into that Plonk in the meantime,so when i get back you will all be fast asleep and i can sneak that Sheila in to my Bunk !!! hehehe!!!

[Michael Lawrence]

It seems we are back to no food
We're back to no booze
The Puser's been sued
Coz he sold it for Cooze

We 'ave no cook tho Den's signed on
To work in the galley on tabnabs and jam
When we would rather have pickles and ham

But look out the port The Taffias 'ere
They've brought us back Cariad
And a load of Braine's beer

So we've bitter or dark
And S.A. brew too
All we need is some 'Four Bells
To put in the stew.

Coz Den's found his apron
And pretty blue checks
Lets 'ope he can keep the food off the decks

[Dennis McGuckin]

Mike. Instead of hiding in the glory hole writing poetry [or whatever passes for it] Get your rear end back to the galley.
Expecting Vernon back in a day or two, or sooner if his Sheila kicks him out, which is most likely.We live in hope that he brings supplies aboard.
So you will have a mountain of spuds to peel. Hope he don't forget the rum or I'm off ashore again.
Den.

[happy daze john in oz]

All this talk about rum, I am getting a bit concerned that someone may want the rest of it, you know baccy and all. If Les B Ann comes back it may be all we weill get if she brings her 'man' back with her. Now I know why Alf wants to go to the crows nest, feels safe up there no doubt.

[Michael Lawrence]

Hear me OH Wise Ones.
I think the ship has run it's course and like all noble vessels time catches up with it and it becomes obsolete.
BUT I din't want to see 'Virtuality' go to the Knacker yards of India, Korea or China. No, I think she should be taken out to the deepst part of the ocean and there scuttled. Perhaps she could do the world one last favour lovely old girl that she is. Would it not be a good idea to load her up to the gunnels with those undesirables that inhabit this fair Earth, batten down all hatcfhes secure all doors and ports and pull the plug.
May I put the first load in motion and that would be most of the House of Commons and all of the House of Lords, all child abusers and those who consider women 2nd class citizens of the world. (Lets 'ope this old girl is a very large ship 'coz I'm sure you have a lot to follow------

P.S. and the bloke at the garage who charges me too much for my fuel LOL

[happy daze john in oz]

No, we should turn her inro a prison ship fot all those terrible people you mention. Then we could throw things at them, things like tab nabs comes to mind.Would do far more damage to them than insults.

[Michael Lawrence]

Ah Come on John. NO one, I repeat no one deserves Den's and Terry's tabnabs slung at 'em. Maybe hang draw and quarter 'em but throw tabnabs, that goes against the grain. Goes against the grain get it! Doubt if they got flour or grain in 'em more than likely sawdust mixed with the odd bag of cement!!!!!!

P.S. plus sand