Virtual Ship

[Gulliver]

Reporting for Duty.?..well hello sailor.!
Listen Wilky,....casting off? casting off? ...just forget your knitting needles,mister and get that windlass in gear...on second thoughts jump ashore on that seaway boom you're such an acrobat on,and put them back,remember it's an up and under job on those bollards. None of the others are ready. yet.Thanks to you noticing 'cookie's' typing error,they all want to sign on as 'pantyman.' ...they say pantymen have a lot more fun......I bet they bloomin' do............sorry,er ...I became trancelike there...where was I? where are we.......?. I know the way to Oblivion,been there many times mate...must remember we have Royalty aboard now....and I don't mean the usual 'queens' down in Fluff Alley.
Puzzling,really...just got a message from Coastguard asking what signal we're flying. Glanced up..and there's five assorted pairs of Les B.Anne's knickers drying on the signal halliard.
"Full of Port and " Half to Cardboard"!...think that's correct,just a little rusty like this ship...must check my seamanship manual later though.
Ar! Pantyman's just brought me medication.....Heck! that breakwater's heading straight for us! Phew!. missed us by a midges nudger.. I'm going for a 'deckhead survey' now lads.
Steady as she goes!
Gulliver

[Michael Lawrence]

Good Day Lads. Sorry to bring this up on this site (and no John it's not my dinner). Have not been a 100% lately and we have nice new young doctor joined the practice and she, Dr Rachel has diagnosed i have A.F. (arterial fibulation, Ithink thats how it's spelt.) Anyway she is sending me for an echo cardiogram and other tests but has said keep on going to the gym and also swimming. Cut too much coffee and tea, watch the alcohol consumption. ( I usually do to make sure those Welsh Taffia types don't get more than me) Have been put on two aspirin a day so can no longer come up with the excuse at bed time 'I've a headache Darling'.

She, Doc Rachel want's to talk about warfarin, but I told her I thought that was for 'bilge rats'. She's a lovely girl and I treat her as if she was a granddaughter. She's told me that having had the life I've had she wants to keep me around alot longer just to hear all the tall stories I'm coming out with.

Once again lads sorry for bringing it up on here,but if you can't confess your fears to your shipmates who can you talk to.

Keep safe lads and a weather eye out. Would someone please haul down Les B Annes bra as when the wind is coming from forward we're going astern, must be something to do with the 'cups' Mike

[wilky]

Hi Mike sorry to hear about your condition mate , dont really know what it entaills but it sounds grim . We are sailing short handed at the moment and are looking forward to you coming back on board . We have hung Les B Annes bra up on the focstle so you can use it as a hammock to recuperate in . All the best Mike , hope to see you soon , best regards, Mick

[Geoff Anderson]

Hi Mike.
Sorry to hear of your condition,sounds like something nasty. but if you can swim and keep fit it cant be to bad. Ive got a spare set of jumper leads in my bag, do you want to borrow them?. I'm one one aspirin a day plus other stuff to keep the old ticker working. Your doctor seems to know he stuff so listen to her!!!.
We can put you on light duties until you recover, theres plenty of spuds and veggies to peel so no excuses lad. we used Les b Ann's bra to winch the stores aboard. We were surprised to see how many LBS of spuds you could get in one cup!!!, never mind two cups.
Taffy 1eye

[Doc Vernon]

Hello Mike L,
Sorry to hear that you have not been too well there mate!
Looks like we are all startibg to crack up a bit here and there!hahh!
Anyway i hope that all will be well with bthe Tests etc,and just take your good Lady Doctors advice and i amsure you will soon be back on track! No not the Race track hhaa!
As you may recall i as many others here have had some sort of Heart probs but mate we are ex Seadogs! and hard to get rid of,never drown hhaha!
So you take it easy and keep up the Swimming,Walking and whatever else you may fancy !! Mmmmmmmmmm!! Be carefull!
Cheers

[Dennis McGuckin]

Hi Mike,
Sorry to hear that you are a bit under the weather mate. Hope all goes well for you.
Could send you over some of my world famous tab-nabs.They have fantastic health properties.
Recommended dosage[no not dose]. is one every hour, or as long as you are vertical. Suggested method is to soak in rum [tab-nab not you] for a few days, Put in blender/cement mixer, and drink.
As far as the suggestion that you be put on light duties. Not sure how we could achieve that, as so far we have been unable to detect exactly what it is you do?. Crew list has you signed on as Galley boy. To date no one has seen you in the Galley.
Anyway Mike. We will keep the rating open in the hope that you will return on board in good health and maybe, just maybe peel some spuds or something.
Den.

[Michael Lawrence]

Sorry Mates. Was feeling a bit down when I opened my mouth in the mess. I suppose having tooth ache on top of the Doc's new's made me feel sorry for myself. Den it's a nice offer about the tabnabs, but if I keep swimming as Vernon suggests, I might need to have a lilo alongside to support it. Just send me the 1000 dollars you owe or is your senility getting worse. As for not seeing me in the galley who do you think prepares all your veg? Also if I never had the recipe from Gilbey's you wouldn't have any 64 Bells.

Crikey Wilky I never new her cups were that big. It's quite cosy in here. I'll think I'll see the rest of the voyage locked away here in the dark. Taffy go careful where you load the spuds as I might be hanging around there. Mike

[Dennis McGuckin]

Mike. Don't think I am quite senile yet, but I do have selective memory loss. Works great with jobs the first mate finds for me.
Also, if memory serves me correctly, I haven't seen any 64 bells let alone veggies, for god knows how long.
As far as you needing a Lilo,believe some of the crew are into[cough] blow-up dolls. Maybe you could borrow one to use as your swimming assistant.
Den.

[Geoff Anderson]

He can borrow one of mine, its got a hole in it, but if he stickes his finger in the hole, it wont go down on him.
Taffy1eye

[Terry Wilcox]

Hi All, been on my travels. Den, blow up dolls...what are those??? Went to the Old Vindi camp in Sharpness, had my photo taken in front of the monument, So...if any one that was at the Vindi and wants to see the monument, please get in touch with me, now back to the Galley.... where are we now on the Ship? keep of the rum Den or you will be seeing Blow up Dolls in your sleep. Take care.....Terry