Virtual Ship

[Dennis McGuckin]

Hi Michael. I show no fear of the Welsh Witches as I am half Welsh myself, Daddy came from Cardiff. so I have some Celtic blood in me. Still I will keep an eye out ( I sound like Nelson ). still getting back to the matter in hand..."Where is Den"? I have been on my own for the last day and night and I need some help in trhe galley, if he is flaked out somewhere, will someone find him and point him back to the Galley. Take care....Terry.

I jumped ship and am now in Oregon on my way to sunny California. Your on your own Terry!!
Good luck.
Den.

[Geoff Anderson]

Terry. Look for the nearest Vat of 16B's and you will either find Den by it or in it. I think he is trying to tenderise his liver. Keep a good weather eye out for the Taffia alias the Welsh witches federation. Do not I repeat do not sup or eat anything from their cauldron. You will usually find them on the fore deck limbs displayed and dressed as nature intended. Try not to be influenced by these strange peoples from the west of the Island . Their land starts just above the Welsh Channel ( I can't believe I wrote that) I mean the Bristol channel. They will try and tempt you with tasty morsels of flesh and if your not careful you may fail in your good intentions and get caught just like I was. There i was one minute a carefree drunken seaman. Next thing I know it's 'sign this she's yours so keep her to the way she's accustomed', and so its been for the last 48 yrs. Even bloody Atlas would of failed this task. SO TERRY GO VERY VERY CAREFUL IF YOU SHOULD VISIT THE FORE DECK. I like the cut of your jib lad and wounldn't like to see any fine upright lad like yourself captured like was I. Mike

Mike the post.
So you had the privilege and Honor to marry Welsh. And now after 48 years you still complaining!!!!.
Sorry mate you should have read the contract, no doubt you had a try before you buy time!!!!.But unfortunately your 2 week probationary time has lapsed, by 47 years, 11 months and 14 days, so sorry. NO REFUND or TRADE IN.
As for the WELSH CHANNEL why not????.We've got the Irish sea, the English channel and the FIFTH of FORTH. So why not be politically correct and have a WELSH CHANNEL
You wernt captured ,you went like a lamb to the slaugther.

best wishes TAFFY 1EYE

[Geoff Anderson]

HI ALL.

Just a word of advice on having your prostrate checked. Do as i did ask the doctor to use two fingers, that way you can have a second opinion for the price of one. And it'll make your doctor smile.
taffy 1eye

[Michael Lawrence]

Just make sure when the prostate is checked he hasn't got both hands on your shoulders.
As for this Fith of Forth your on about maybe we could have a half and half. For you poor devils living in the colonies down under here is the weather report for the British Isles. Rain followed by more rain with rain imminent. I bet that upsets you with all that sunshine your fed up with, must get boring walking around in shorts all day.
Just for the record Den you can't jump ship you've signed for life and until we receive your death certificate get back in the kitchen( should read galley) and give Terry a hand with the Vat of 16B's.
As for me and my guarantee running out I thought I had bought an extended warranty, but I suppose it wasn't worth the paper it was written on ( South Wales Echo).
Anyway going to see my solicitor about this as it was sold me by a Welshman. My solicitors are Jone,Jones,Jones,Tudor,Solomon and Jones so might have a fight on my hands. Mike

[Mike Hall]

i wish to report that the red duster that was flying from the stern of this ship has dissapeared and a similar one has been reported to be seen in the front garden of john wallace(barling).in new zealand.
i have now had to aquire another one,to fly at the stern.
i have put up some signal flags asking for help in who moved the flag,i think it might have been me,but i am not sure,as i think i was in a senior moment at the time.

[Geoff Anderson]

Hi All
If Mike the post is using the Welsh solicitors . i supposed we will have to use the full blue blood English ones. Mesers PATEL, PATEL PATEL SINGH, SINGH and ABDULLA.And we'll see how that contract stands up in court. Your right Mike we are getting fed up with wearing shorts.This is the 6 th week of SUNSHINE and the tenps in the high 20s.We had a bit of a downpour the other night when we had 1/2 MM of rain. And OZ is even hotter. So dont tell us your problems. LOL.
Anyway im going back to the pool to cool off.ROTTEN HEAT and SUNSHINE.

[Dennis McGuckin]

HI ALL.

Just a word of advice on having your prostrate checked. Do as i did ask the doctor to use two fingers, that way you can have a second opinion for the price of one. And it'll make your doctor smile.
taffy 1eye

Good one taffy 2. Some may even enjoy it! Den.

[Dennis McGuckin]

Just make sure when the prostate is checked he hasn't got both hands on your shoulders.
As for this Fith of Forth your on about maybe we could have a half and half. For you poor devils living in the colonies down under here is the weather report for the British Isles. Rain followed by more rain with rain imminent. I bet that upsets you with all that sunshine your fed up with, must get boring walking around in shorts all day.
Just for the record Den you can't jump ship you've signed for life and until we receive your death certificate get back in the kitchen( should read galley) and give Terry a hand with the Vat of 16B's.
As for me and my guarantee running out I thought I had bought an extended warranty, but I suppose it wasn't worth the paper it was written on ( South Wales Echo).
Anyway going to see my solicitor about this as it was sold me by a Welshman. My solicitors are Jone,Jones,Jones,Tudor,Solomon and Jones so might have a fight on my hands. Mike

Sorry bout that Mike. cant do. Just arrivedi in Desert Hot Springs today. 78F. Golfing tomorrow. Will take a logging when I get back. Any chance the ship can change course for Death Valley? If not please ship a couple of kegs of 16 bells asap. Dying of thirst in the Desert. Den.

[happy daze john in oz]

Alright for you lot complaining about Jones and Patel all we have Is Achmed, and Achmed, and Ng. But what am I saying stuck here on this dessert island, temp for the last four days 40, 44.5, 44.3, 46.5, 42. The beer ran out two days ago, her indoors has gone troppo, power cuts have closed the brewery for two days, water restrictions reduces me to three showers a day, and i just ran out of ice. Nothing for it, off to the pig.

[Geoff Anderson]

Hi All/
Forcast for tomorrow sunshine in a cloudless sky, air temp 30 plus.But we have plenty of water. I pump my own from a bore comes out at 17 degs. clear and sparking.Sorry to hear of your brewery closure John, id send you some over . But the last time i mensioned kiwi beer you called it weasle pee. so ill drink it myself hic.
taffy 1eye