Virtual Ship

[Geoff Anderson]

To my way of thinking the 'Old Man's Tiger has been giving more than a general clean up to his day cabin. As for George how disgusting trying to have it away with those leading hands from the Colour Guard. I fancied the one with the sailmakers rank on her arm. Big and blonde she was. I thought she might of raised my old needle. No word to the W.R. now Geoff. What goes on on this ship stays aboard and doesn't make shore side. Now I'm glad George has made it back here and now you've all told me where you bugger off to I'll keep an eye open. I thought you all headed for the monkey island.
Well I had my numbers on the lottery come up last night. I was going to find a cruise for Kiwi via Canada, States, and Oz, but seeing its only a tenner you old buggers will have to wait for your grog up.
W.R. seems to be making progress but has definately slowed down since the last belt she had, so we take things easier. She reckons she's bought all the Christmas prezzies and when I mentioned 'The Lads' she said where am I getting 'Four Bells ' from. Told her to have a word with Dazy John.
Vernon she hopes you've recovered from the kidney stone probs and suggest you drink more water. She's been suggesting I do the same for the last 48 yrs. Take care Maties. Mike

hi mike.
is this the one you fanced???????????
taffy 1i

[happy daze john in oz]

If vernon is begining to itch then maybe some blue unction may be in order. We did order some additional four bells and all we got was an early morning call from the bloody peak steward. The we thought of maybe teachers but where told there was no one on here thta is wise enough to teach anyone. So back to black and white and to hell with racial discrimination or political correctness. as long as we get a drink to soak up all those spuds the better we will all be.

[Graham Payne]

hi all'
hey graham, when you rubbed the oil in her belly button.????.was it making a gritty sound, like vaso with sand in it?. if it was the doll must be vernons. as he was the last with the vaso. and didnt he use it to get out of the bilges? the plot thickens.and he reconds he was in there with some bird! . so my dear WATSON.I THINK we now whos the doll is.
taffy 1i

Come to think of it Taff it was slightly gritty after I removed her "Belly Button" Fluff.

[pemcol]

Ok lads settle down, I have just scrolled thru 20 pages of ( what do I call it ? ) looking for anybody to keep me company down below. One thing springs to mind if the ship is still in the Thames, how come, who got steam up? who answered the telegraph? and who got her under way, I need answers to these questions because I want no deckies etc under my feet it will be enough running around like a blue a-sed fly on my own. So while I stow my gear, someone make me a brew and we can get things moving. I have noticed we have a couple of welshmen on board so they will both be welcome to come down for a warm up anytime as I am also a Taff albeit now domociled in Colchester, Aberkenfig was where I first saw the light of day.
So here we go I am standing by the telegraph.
Frank

[Geoff Anderson]

Ok lads settle down, I have just scrolled thru 20 pages of ( what do I call it ? ) looking for anybody to keep me company down below. One thing springs to mind if the ship is still in the Thames, how come, who got steam up? who answered the telegraph? and who got her under way, I need answers to these questions because I want no deckies etc under my feet it will be enough running around like a blue a-sed fly on my own. So while I stow my gear, someone make me a brew and we can get things moving. I have noticed we have a couple of welshmen on board so they will both be welcome to come down for a warm up anytime as I am also a Taff albeit now domociled in Colchester, Aberkenfig was where I first saw the light of day.
So here we go I am standing by the telegraph.
Frank

hi pemcol. welcome aboard mate.
glad to have somebody down below. easy to get steam up on this ship we just threw in the dregs of les,s still. and away she went,mind you it did knock some crap out of the flue pipe. as for the the engine controls somebody hot wired it stright to the bridge,as we had nobody in the engine room.
and guess what, we got alf on the wheel with his white stick.and hes ex catering.do we need to say more. hes a good mate though never complains. mind you we are missing one of those blow up dolls, so maybe he has it ????? theres plenty of TAFFS on board so you wont be lonely. but watch out for mike.! he only married welsh, his only claim to fame, ha ha.
ps did you bring any grog with you.if you did stash it awy safe. i,ll try and put a crew list up for you, so you know whos who.
taffy 1i

[Graham Payne]

Ok lads settle down, I have just scrolled thru 20 pages of ( what do I call it ? ) looking for anybody to keep me company down below. One thing springs to mind if the ship is still in the Thames, how come, who got steam up? who answered the telegraph? and who got her under way, I need answers to these questions because I want no deckies etc under my feet it will be enough running around like a blue a-sed fly on my own. So while I stow my gear, someone make me a brew and we can get things moving. I have noticed we have a couple of welshmen on board so they will both be welcome to come down for a warm up anytime as I am also a Taff albeit now domociled in Colchester, Aberkenfig was where I first saw the light of day.
So here we go I am standing by the telegraph.
Frank

WELCOME ABOARD PEMCOL. AT LAST, we have someone who is able down below so hopefully we can now start to get moving towards the Sun and fleshpots of the world we all knew, still one Question though, where the Bloody hell are we going ?

[pemcol]

hi pemcol. welcome aboard mate.
glad to have somebody down below. easy to get steam up on this ship we just threw in the dregs of les,s still. and away she went,mind you it did knock some crap out of the flue pipe. as for the the engine controls somebody hot wired it stright to the bridge,as we had nobody in the engine room.
and guess what, we got alf on the wheel with his white stick.and hes ex catering.do we need to say more. hes a good mate though never complains. mind you we are missing one of those blow up dolls, so maybe he has it ????? theres plenty of TAFFS on board so you wont be lonely. but watch out for mike.! he only married welsh, his only claim to fame, ha ha.
ps did you bring any grog with you.if you did stash it awy safe. i,ll try and put a crew list up for you, so you know whos who.
taffy 1i

Sure Taffy I remembered to bring the grog, but I have been asleep since then and now I can't remember where I stashed it, but don't worry it will come back to me won't it????????????

[Geoff Anderson]

Sure Taffy I remembered to bring the grog, but I have been asleep since then and now I can't remember where I stashed it, but don't worry it will come back to me won't it????????????

hi pemcol.
i think thats what we call alcoholic amnesia. dont worry though we all suffer it on this ship, some more than others ha ha.so i guess we,d better retrace your steps. before you suffered AA.
taffy 1i

[Geoff Anderson]

hi all.
has anybody seen DEN lately?? or has he gone over the wall again fishing.?????. if so i hope he brings back some nice salmon this time.and not another tin of sardines,
taffy1i

[Michael Lawrence]

Hey you lot. I thought we were going to Genova instead of playing around the Canaries. Thats what comes of putting a one eyed pirate from Plymouth on the wheel called Alf. Not that I'm blaming anyone. Listen you Taffs my W.R. married me coz there was no Welshman good enough for her, and ever since she's told me anyone can make a mistake.
And Geoff don't blame Den for the victuals aboard. I reckon its all to do with the C/Stwd from Sth Africa via Sydney who keeps putting biltong and babotie on the menu. Glad its not Dazy John or it would be fried possum and curried koala with maybe a roo steak thrown in. Any way I 've still got the murphies to peel and a few carrots. Den told me when I get to the end of the spuds I'll find a bottle of 'Four Bells' he didn't say it would be empty.
I'll ask Den if we can have scouse followed by shepherds pie made with tender Brecon lamb. I bet one of those Downunders will want pavlova as a sweet. Me I want treacle pud which will stick to the ribs. Oh well time to call the cook with a cuppa. Mind you he's been called plenty. Mike