Virtual Ship

[happy daze john in oz]

Mike mate I have just stepped aboard the good ship lolipop as she sits here in port o' plonk waiting for a new crew to join her. Mate I have to tell you she smells, a smell so strong I think it will outlive religeon. Suggie is what we need, got to get her back to BOT standard, you know weevils and hard tack. Den where are you, the bloody flour had a life of it's own moving around the deck by itself. Have heard someone ha discovered where the treasure is burried so we must make hast and get her away again.

[Michael Lawrence]

John. It seems to me that the crew have had enough leave and it's about time they got back aboard. Vernon after you've ditched the old BOT gear perhaps you could restore with fresh edible provisions, thats before Den and his (t)rusty Terry get to work in the galley and start making 'bricks' again, er sorry I meant tabnabs. Hopefully when and if the Taffia rejoin they'll leave that bloody Cariad ashore in The Bay of Plenty. If One Eyed Alf makes contact tell him he has to stay on tthe wheel as 'That MICHAEL' hasn't volunteered to sign on. Mind you none of us wear 'our brass' except Captain Gulliver and his Mate Les B Anne (has a nice taste in Lace). Anyway I look fwd to seeing if any of the original crew rejoin as no matter what her failings she seems a happy ship.

[happy daze john in oz]

Well Mike that Michael tells me he was once a captain but has been very unwell, something about the Blue Flu, so he cannot remember the ships he was on and does not appear to have an R number. Tells me he likes stewards boys, told him he might just have a problem there as we do not even have a steward. The last buoy we had went into that awful stew the Welsh witches concocted in the cauldron, thought it tasted a bit corky. As for the moving flour, I think the weevils may be holding a dance, you know ships dance! Maybe they might just save us from a death worse than fate, if they move it far enough away Den will not be able to lay any more bricks, you know, tab nab bricks!

[Ivan Cloherty]

Well Mike that Michael tells me he was once a captain but has been very unwell, something about the Blue Flu, so he cannot remember the ships he was on and does not appear to have an R number. Tells me he likes stewards boys, told him he might just have a problem there as we do not even have a steward. The last buoy we had went into that awful stew the Welsh witches concocted in the cauldron, thought it tasted a bit corky. As for the moving flour, I think the weevils may be holding a dance, you know ships dance! Maybe they might just save us from a death worse than fate, if they move it far enough away Den will not be able to lay any more bricks, you know, tab nab bricks!

Eh John lad, tha begins to remind of Professor Stanley Unwin, the master of talking backwards, up keep it mate

Ivan

[alf corbyn]

ok ok i'm back, igive up.i'll get back on the wheel. can you move that contraption off the foredeck, you know the one that fell off the swing bridge,i can't see where i'm going. if i remember right i think we somewhere near the canaries, so i'm gonna put a bit of left hand down on and see if i can find brazzaville, they have some decent rock-n-roll there. send me up some grub(not tab nabs) and a couple of lion bitters. alf

[happy daze john in oz]

Now Alf we know you have been away on sick leave to get your eye fixed, but it is a pity you did not get it done before you signed on. Then maybe we would not have been going around in circles for so long. You have taken the meaning of 'one eyed' to new levels. Then you tell us the Canaries are off the starboard bow! Mate last time I looked out of the port hole yes we were near the Canaries, Canary Bloody Wharf that is. Stop using that Treasure Island map you have anbd start using the A.A. guide issued to all good helmsmen. Now you may be excused from the rack for a while, oops that should be wheel, so up the mast you go and beware of low flying birds, they may offer you a calling card.

[Michael Lawrence]

We can't blame Alf for his use of an out of date road map. Captain Gulliver has been using it as a tray for his burger and cheese bun with onions and tomato sauce. Don't know where he got the meal from 'coz I'm sure as eggs is eggs Den and Terry couldn't of conjured it up. There again nowt surprizes me on this tub, bet we have a certain Haupmann applying for a berth on 'ere as a deck cadet, he might bring his mate along from Oxford.
Hey John, when that Cariad was in a good mood she use to turn out some good scoff, but I've never liked seaweed cooked or raw. I think its a Celt thing where the old taste buds like a lot of salt on their tongues to compensate for those other things they eat---FAGGOTS. I remember telling an American I met on a train that I had developed a parciality to 'em. He moved to another train never mind carriage.
Well better get back to the soogering before that motley crowd from Kiwi and Oz sign on.-----Now if i can only find where Vernon has stashed the carbolic soap and clothes we'll soon be ship shape.

P.S. Theres a large roasting tin of Boston Baked Beans I've just removed from the galley oven if your interested.

[happy daze john in oz]

My first question is how long has it been there as I recall Vernon sold all the beans to buy ginger beer. as for the carbolic soap I think that was all used up in the last lot of soup cooked up to disguise the seaweed. Where did the eggs come from as I do not recall ever seeing any on board, bet he was up in the crows nest pinching those, or could it have been that small island we laid up at, did he go for seagulls eggs? I think mate if we are to get up and sailing again we will have no choice but the press gang again.

[Michael Lawrence]

Their fresh Harricot and toms with belly pork (for our moslem maties) with a great dollop of molasses chuck in as well. Have sent as many as possible notice that ship is resigning so lets wait and see.

[alf corbyn]

i'll have some of them there beans but definatly not on dens tabnabs. have you any corned beef hash or dried eggs?(not seagulls eggs.i like the sound of them faggots mike as long as their brains and nothing queer about them. and of course i would like you to give a me a course of course. alf