Virtual Ship

[John Gill]

#1548. (Is it THAT long)? Re Den's tab nabs, I think Kong has a load of cookies for sale. Somebody wake him up and make him an offer. (Re#112).

[Gulliver]

Nice to hear Mr.Mike Lawrence is well-so many dropping off the radar now ,but sadly a lot of 'good uns still with us-we must have deserved it after surviving our often 'mad' existences at sea back in the day!


Well,a couple of 'old crew' waiting here for you on the rickety toredo-worm riddled jetty at our nearest beachhead-Trumpington on Sea-(Admiralty Chart reference FU2 / (that's a slash ! ) N.O.R.W.I.C.H.666999).

Our Mug Shots of Seamen's Dis. A books:

Skipper.gifCadet Captain Les B.Ann.gif

Skipper will dust off his crud-stained trusty portfolio of Esso Road Maps (3rd.Ed.1954) ,lay out the John 'o Groats to Scilly Isles chart;incorporating inset for English Channel (a bit small but we'll keep in the middle) -and we could be away,we don't need any more charts after the first one,as we never know where we're going anyway (as usual).

We're a teeny bit rusty,so me and Cadet Captain Les B Ann must remember to let go the fore and aft lines and not take Trumpington jetty with us -we already have a huge collection of jetties from worldwide stacked up in Number 5 hatch ,next to several hundred tonnes(that's the new posh term for tons,nice eh?) of Den's finest concrete tabnabs,and immeasurable untallied crates of Vernon's Eight Bells.

Les B. has just got excited when Skipper mentioned he'd be bringing his trusty rusty sextant (think she thought he meant Dolores,his sexy aunt)

So Maybe we'll get under way again....maybe.
Doc Vernon no doubt will be re-programming his spellcheck censor to moderate all our sea men's fruity lingo we use- just occasionally of course.

Really need a new ship just -heard that our old m.v.VIRTUALITY mysteriously refloated herself off the Gadani scrapping beach and drifted off .... thought to be heading back to Blighty on favourable sultanas-sorry I mean currents.(Told you I'm a bit rusty !)

Old m.v.VIRTUALITY: Instructions to Correct a List
m.v VIRTUALITY.jpg

[Chris Allman]

2825993840_73eb06b910_b.jpg

Hey guys I have just got this great chance to obtain a new ship, well when I say new I mean different, or something like that. The present owner is retiring and said we could have it for a song. I sang him three verses of Eskimo Nell and its ours. He describes it as a side loading freighter requiring some attention - apparently its cool in hot weather, especially in No 3 hold however he does not think its suitable for the North Atlantic in the winter as the boiler is plumbed into the shaft tunnel to assist the propeller and cannot heat the rest of the ship. He also said, which is the main thing, is that it attracts the birds who he thinks will come with us - great just what we wanted, must get my hair cut and spruced up, want to give a good impression. I asked about a guarantee and he said he could guarantee its just what we want, so that's OK. Just one snag, its buyer collects so we will have to collect it and we will have to pay a ground rent debt on it, he reckons its about £3000, he said if we give him the money he will sort the debt out. He wants it in cash in Somali Shillings and in a brown envelope marked payee only. I have tentatively agreed this but will await your judgements on the arrangements. I asked if there was any certification to go with the ship and was assured that she was certainly certified alright however the documents were stored in Panama. I have attached a photo taken from his sales brochure and await your approval / reactions........

Just click on the photo to see the refinements.

[Captain Kong]

Ive sailed on worse ships.
Brian

[Dennis McGuckin]

OK me Harty's.
I'm, on a mission. Buying up all of the rum extract in Canada.
So you will once again appreciate the quality tab nabs made with real rum provided by Doc.
Don't tell him, he thinks I use it for tab nabs.

[Doc Vernon]

Egads! all my Money I for for those sales,to But that Rum!!
Damn!!
Oh well I suppose the motley crew will deserve the nice Rum filled cookies!
Will have to watch them though as knowing our Mr Baker (Den) he always goes overboard with the Rum ! We may have quite a few Overboard after eating all the Cookies! Eeeeeek!!

[happy daze john in oz]

Rum in the Tab Nabs? the only rum thaty ever got in them may have been Red Rum and for those who recall he won the grand national many years ago. Den thought the blood and bone mafde from him was a new kind of red flour, then when the Chinese bought them for the wall all the flies ate the bloody things and now Vernon they want a refund.

[Gulliver]

Chris,that side loader freighter looks a very safe bet to me ,but we'll have to put it to the vote. Meanwhile I've contacted my old mate/ agent Mustafa in Port Said(or was that Starboard Said-oh dear memory playing havoc in my old age-) anyway he can get me 4 chipping hammers and a 'windy hammer' of which the latter is serviceable if we can get spare parts-it's a 1925 model,but Mustafa says he's got a diver mate who can salvage one from an old wreck just outside the harbour which sank or ,was abandoned more like in 1967- it will just need a good clean up,as most things do.and anyway there's not too much rust on that freighter I suppose.When he said he'll throw in a quite presentable' old Suez Canal searchlight for a carton of Marlboro Lights ,that clinched it ! I've always trusted him implicitly,although I've never been quite sure what that word actually meant,and of course he is Egyptian...

Had a terrible nightmare last night.Must be the excitement of going back to sea again,or perhaps that half a pound(proper units N.B.) of Gorgonzola I scoffed at suppertime might have caused it. Best way to describe that nightmare is to draw it and show you.

NEWTOWN (ON 136817) Wrecked on Barricane beach, N Devon.9 months old was on passage Oporto to Ne.jpg

Can't wait to hear those immortal words again;"Lovely to see you home ! When are you going back?"

[Chris Allman]

I think that was a cheap way for a bottom scrub and anti-fouling job. Had to be quick though all done on a low tide - job and finish -good idea after my own heart.

[John Gill]

I think that was a cheap way for a bottom scrub and anti-fouling job. Had to be quick though all done on a low tide - job and finish -good idea after my own heart.

Heavens! Thought you were referring to a course of treatment from Dr Ross to a UCL waiter who needed some sort of anal sphincter re alignment.