Virtual Ship

[Michael Lawrence]

Please Captain sir/Madam. Is it true you carry a whip made of certain parts of poor G.B.s anatomy? Do you use it on Skipper Gulliver as I don't think he's getting enough of it, whip that is. If you see Vernon C/Stwd he will supply you with some 'Robin's Starch' to stiffen it up. I use it on my genes, oopes my jeans I mean and they stay in shape longer, bugger when you sit down. I think Den the C'cook/bottle washer and chippingammer would like you to give him a flick as he's always on about going on the lash. but more than 'appy for you to concentrate all your energy on th 'Old Man'.
Some of the lads and I( how very posh) are heading for Strait Street as Dazy reckons he knows a couple of 'crackers' in a bar there.( well they were 40/50 years ago.) Percol (all engineers together) says he needs the outboard overhauled and is dropping it into Zammits motorcycle shop.
And please Sir/Madam do you know you've a bunch of pyrotechnic Taffs on the foredeck along with a bell bottom chasing Mush from S'th hampton. Not telling tales Mam/Sir just keeping you informed and can I get you a refill of 8B's plus a tabnab from Den? Mike/Galley Boy Extrodinaire

[Geoff Anderson]

Please Captain sir/Madam. Is it true you carry a whip made of certain parts of poor G.B.s anatomy? Do you use it on Skipper Gulliver as I don't think he's getting enough of it, whip that is. If you see Vernon C/Stwd he will supply you with some 'Robin's Starch' to stiffen it up. I use it on my genes, oopes my jeans I mean and they stay in shape longer, bugger when you sit down. I think Den the C'cook/bottle washer and chippingammer would like you to give him a flick as he's always on about going on the lash. but more than 'appy for you to concentrate all your energy on th 'Old Man'.
Some of the lads and I( how very posh) are heading for Strait Street as Dazy reckons he knows a couple of 'crackers' in a bar there.( well they were 40/50 years ago.) Percol (all engineers together) says he needs the outboard overhauled and is dropping it into Zammits motorcycle shop.
And please Sir/Madam do you know you've a bunch of pyrotechnic Taffs on the foredeck along with a bell bottom chasing Mush from S'th hampton. Not telling tales Mam/Sir just keeping you informed and can I get you a refill of 8B's plus a tabnab from Den? Mike/Galley Boy Extrodinaire

Hi All.
Well we are all 6s and 7s today arnt we,
Hey Mike you getting into that B&D stuff??And as for the welsh boyos into pyro-technics, might i refer to the incident of Weston- super- mares pier.Or is that still a touchie subject???.(Av you got a light boy),or was that the singing postman.
I'll think I'll give dazy's run ashore to stait street, a miss. i reckon that by now all the whizz bang has gone and and all thats left is a slight fut fut. Mind you they do say that one opening up is as good closing up. yuk.
And we had better give that outboard motor a trial run as most of the motors in Malta run better in the shade, same as the drivers.They always drive in the shady side of the road.
Ho almost forgot wed better get Gertrude, Ops sorry Gulliver out of the dunny. must be getting quite ripe in there by now.PHEW.'Hope he has enough paper with him or he might have to use his 1967 ESSo road map. mind you it might be a good thing. its no use as a chart befitting the likes of such illustrious crew as ourselves
taffy1eye

[Jack Jenkins]

miaow miaow

[happy daze john in oz]

Oh Oh, bilges has found the ships cat now what we going to do. He has ben in hiding for weeks frightened off by the tab nabs coming out of the galley. Now all those big brown rats that have been on the grill for the past few weeks will be no more, and some one, no names no pack drill, told us we were eating Asian chicken??????? Even used the tails as kebab sticks. This close to Christmas he could have fattened them up and convinced us they were Chinese Turkey.

[Gulliver]

Oh Oh, bilges has found the ships cat now what we going to do. He has ben in hiding for weeks frightened off by the tab nabs coming out of the galley. Now all those big brown rats that have been on the grill for the past few weeks will be no more, and some one, no names no pack drill, told us we were eating Asian chicken??????? Even used the tails as kebab sticks. This close to Christmas he could have fattened them up and convinced us they were Chinese Turkey.

Eh?....Gentle reader....I refer you to the previous reply!
Gulliver
(Cheers to Happy Daze John.......big brown rats???? Chinese turkey?? Cold Turkey???..Merry Christmas to John in Cyberland!

[Michael Lawrence]

Someone sent me this so thought I'd pass it on to you lot. It states that anyone with a modicum of sense can read it! Let's see.

Only great minds can read this

This is weird, but interesting!
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too




Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it

The brain is a strange thing isn't it. Mike

[Michael Lawrence]

Seeing I broke my leave to send this can I claim a day in the New Year Captain Sir? Your obedient snivelling G B E. plus bar (Eight Bells taht is). Mike

[Geoff Anderson]

Seeing I broke my leave to send this can I claim a day in the New Year Captain Sir? Your obedient snivelling G B E. plus bar (Eight Bells taht is). Mike

Hi MIke
As they say in poland toughski shetsky.Youve had more leave than all of us put together. Its about time we got some work out of you.You'd better be careful or the old man might put you on permanent leave. And leave you on the beach when we leave Malta.
And wipe your nose theres some brown stuff on the end of it.
Have a good Christmas, give my love to WR, and dont suck on to many wine gums.
geoff.

[Dennis McGuckin]

I would like to make our Christmas in Malta as pleasant as possible.Saint that I am.
Please sir could I have an extra bottle of rum for the Christmas Pudd?
Promise I wont let Mike or galley boy extraordinary near it. And as we all know, I can be trusted not to substitute it with rum extract.[cough-cough] I think our [un] worthy crew deserve a treat after all their hard work getting us here.
The thought of a nice Pudd may even keep them onboard instead of heading for the Gut.
Mike may have to serve it as I may be ashore at mass!!!!
Den.

[happy daze john in oz]

I would like to make our Christmas in Malta as pleasant as possible.Saint that I am.
Please sir could I have an extra bottle of rum for the Christmas Pudd?
Promise I wont let Mike or galley boy extraordinary near it. And as we all know, I can be trusted not to substitute it with rum extract.[cough-cough] I think our [un] worthy crew deserve a treat after all their hard work getting us here.
The thought of a nice Pudd may even keep them onboard instead of heading for the Gut.
Mike may have to serve it as I may be ashore at mass!!!!
Den.

Den, going to mass, have you gone all religeous on us or is that another misprint. No not thta miss Print, but I think it should read ashore in a mess.