Virtual Ship

[Dennis McGuckin]

Listen Cookie. The next port of call is Genova. I can still see those beautiful 'Sheilas' from Via Lucia (dirty street) Oh I can't wait to get there. Den I'll share the proceeds of the rum distillery with you, but you can't share in the brick job coz I went out and got all the contracts for them after finding how great they are. Thinking of flogging them to the Government to help in low cost housing. Now be a good chap and get back in the galley so we can meet our target. I promise that you will have the first bottle of Eight Bells off the production line. Mike

Mike, So far none of your promises have come to pass.
Working my fingers to the bone for diddly-squat.
No shore leave, no sub, and no rum.
Rum issue NOW or I jump.
Then see what happens to your shore-side contract!!!
No more Mr nice guy for me.
Den.

[Michael Lawrence]

Mike, So far none of your promises have come to pass.
Working my fingers to the bone for diddly-squat.
No shore leave, no sub, and no rum.
Rum issue NOW or I jump.
Then see what happens to your shore-side contract!!!
No more Mr nice guy for me.
Den.

Hey Mr Nice Guy. That Dazy John and the Taffy Mafia must be stealing your issue. I send it to you regulary
,I know its not Alf as he's too busy trying to fiqure out what to do with the wheel. He hasn't mastered the art of turning it to port now then which might keep us in reasonable moves fw'rd in stead of going round in circles.

I remember distinctly giving Vernon your rum issue and he said something about seeing the cook got his share. I said 'You mean Den' He said 'Is he a cook'. So Den maybe you better take it up with him. I think he's in the N01 boat port side as he dosen't trust Alfs navigation. Me, I just don't trust Alf as he keeps on about meeting the
Barbary apes in Gib. and having a drink with 'em in the garrison mess. Maybe we can get George and Dazy John to give you a hand in the galley coz me as galley boy is to busy chasing up more contacts for your 'brick specials. Now you take care Den and leave it all to your uncle Mick who will sort things out. Mike

[Doc Vernon]

Well Den mate you see its like this!
After having received the Rum for me and you from Gally boy haha! i sort of sidetracked to the littel Sheila i got hidden (no i wont tell) and she polished it ALL off mate,not even a drop left for me !
I am as said in the No1 boat port side mate,tyring to stay out of sight!
This Ship is veering from pillar to post and i am sure Alf is on something too!
Cant keep a steady course to anywhere!
Gawd knows where and when we will ever see land again,and here i am now stuck in this boat!
Having looked all over for Lazy John i cannot see him anywhere,as he may be my only way out of this mess haha!:
As for George well looks like he is again gone AWOL dont know hwere as he cannot get ashore from here!!?? C'on George where are you!
Oh well i am off to lala land now! Hope i can catch a Kip!
Cheers

[alf corbyn]

you're MAD!, all of yer MAD, MAD, here i am turning this wheel and trying to get past gib and i have nothing to eat, nothing to drink except this aqua shave and toothpaste, andyou are whinging about bricks!.
i'll be glad when we get to malta so i can go down the gut and get laid.
who said i'm navigating?. i shot the sun at noon but can't find the dividers.
help. cheers. alf

[Dennis McGuckin]

Well Den mate you see its like this!
After having received the Rum for me and you from Gally boy haha! i sort of sidetracked to the littel Sheila i got hidden (no i wont tell) and she polished it ALL off mate,not even a drop left for me !
I am as said in the No1 boat port side mate,tyring to stay out of sight!
This Ship is veering from pillar to post and i am sure Alf is on something too!
Cant keep a steady course to anywhere!
Gawd knows where and when we will ever see land again,and here i am now stuck in this boat!
Having looked all over for Lazy John i cannot see him anywhere,as he may be my only way out of this mess haha!:
As for George well looks like he is again gone AWOL dont know hwere as he cannot get ashore from here!!?? C'on George where are you!
Oh well i am off to lala land now! Hope i can catch a Kip!
Cheers

Vernon mate. As long as the rum went for a good cause.
However. A GOOD shipmate would not keep a Sheila all to himself!!!
Maybe next rum issue,[if there is one] I could get to deliver it to her myself??
Den.

[Dennis McGuckin]

Hey Mr Nice Guy. That Dazy John and the Taffy Mafia must be stealing your issue. I send it to you regulary
,I know its not Alf as he's too busy trying to fiqure out what to do with the wheel. He hasn't mastered the art of turning it to port now then which might keep us in reasonable moves fw'rd in stead of going round in circles.

I remember distinctly giving Vernon your rum issue and he said something about seeing the cook got his share. I said 'You mean Den' He said 'Is he a cook'. So Den maybe you better take it up with him. I think he's in the N01 boat port side as he dosen't trust Alfs navigation. Me, I just don't trust Alf as he keeps on about meeting the
Barbary apes in Gib. and having a drink with 'em in the garrison mess. Maybe we can get George and Dazy John to give you a hand in the galley coz me as galley boy is to busy chasing up more contacts for your 'brick specials. Now you take care Den and leave it all to your uncle Mick who will sort things out. Mike

Hi Uncle Mike,
You have soft soaped me again. Will fogive you once more.
However I need to remind you orrible crew. I signed on as chief BAKER. I am NOT the cook, Even when I was 2nd cook/baker the Doc wouldnt let me near the galley stove. All I can promise is good bread and rum "flavored" tab-nabs.That of course depends on my soberness [is that a word?]On this ship that should not be a problem with the likes of Vernon hi-jacking the rum to fuel his sexual cravings.Dirty [lucky]bugger.
Den.

[Geoff Anderson]

hi all.
after reading the problems with duties, here is an up dated crew list.hope i havent missed anybody. if i have im sure youll let me know. with the usual brick aimed at my head.
MIKE..GALLEYBOY
DES AB=NAVIGATOR
DEN= CHIEF BAKER,TABNAB MAKER
JOHN IN A DAZE =BAR STEWARD.
ALF=HELMSMAN/QM.
VERNON=CHIEF STEWARD.
BILGES= THE SHIPS CAT.
TAFFY1EYE=LOOKOUT, FARMER,2ND BAKER,PAINTER. NO JOB TO SMALL, FREE QUOTES.
JOHN MEEKIN=LAMP TRIMMER.
PETER OLDER TAFFY= MR FIX IT
LES=EDH,PEGGY,QM.
GRAHAM= CAPT TIGER.
PEMCOL=FIREMAN, GREASER.
GEORGE=EX STOWAWAY.
BLOW UP DOLLS =AS THEMSELVES.
CAPT=SEE ATTACHMENT
GULLIVER= MATE ,??????/
TAFFY1EYE

[Doc Vernon]

Taffy1i,
Been looking all over for that Shela mate,had her with me but she run off with all the Rum Issues, Den was upset but said as long as he can share her next time haha!
So you must have found her,now where is he mate? In your Cabin i suppose!
Better keep her under wraps the Cpt will have you for that! haha
Nice update on Crew,hope we can get back to some sort of nrmality!
Cheers

Now off to get some stores in,but from wher? We are still so far from Port!
Oh well i will have to get the emergency issues!

[Geoff Anderson]

Taffy1i,
Been looking all over for that Shela mate,had her with me but she run off with all the Rum Issues, Den was upset but said as long as he can share her next time haha!
So you must have found her,now where is he mate? In your Cabin i suppose!
Better keep her under wraps the Cpt will have you for that! haha
Nice update on Crew,hope we can get back to some sort of nrmalityCheers

Now off to get some stores in,but from wher? We are still so far from Port!
Oh well i will have to get the emergency issues!

hi vernon.
Here's the bad news. she is our captain, has been for a while, thats why grahams been absent all these weeks. hes been tending to her needs, obviously she wanted more of the same thing.if youve been gallivanting about with her as well. brazen hussy!, no wonder we've been going around in ever decreasing circles. and that Alf must have known what was going on, sly old bugger. maybe hes been there as well.???.
well vernon, i suggest you forget about her and concentrate on getting in some stores. maybe we should call our new skipper BMX. as she seems to have village bike complex, ha ha where do we find them???.
taffy 1 eye.

[happy daze john in oz]

No wonder we is going round in cirles, Alf shot the sun, thats why its so bloody dark just now, and he cant find the dividers! Of course he cant find them we sold them for two cases of Newcastle brown just before we set sail. Vernon is hiding in the No.1 lifeboat incase someone comes looking for the rum ration ans as he is acting sky pilot he wants to be ready for a fast getaway if Alf finds the Needles.