Smoko,Lads!

[Gulliver]

Now,where was I.... I've been surfing again,no not off Newquay silly..I mean I lose my balance just lying down,never mind on a surfboard,no I mean on the web.
In between chores I like perving(steady!) on E-Bay. Found the following instructions to would-be purchasers from a Seller's Shop.
I know most of us here are pretty good with our spelling...I know when I make the odd mistake (Sound of Trumpets), then it's usually because I've hit the wrong key ,or because my mind is racing ahead to the next line(and long may that continue,too!)


Here's the offending item :


"Terms and Conditions.
PLEASE NOTE,ALL OUR ITEMS ARE INSPECTED ,PRIARE TO DISPATCH AND A RECORD INCLUDING PHOTOS KEPT BY US,DUE TO A FEW UNSCRUPULAS PEOPLE REMOVING ILLUSTRATIONS FROM BOOK, OR READING BOOK THEN RETURNING HAS A FALTY ITEM AND USING FEADBACK EXSTORCHAN,, WE HAVE THERFORE DECIDED, AND ARE NOW PREPERD TO TAKE LEAGLE ACTION AGAINS THESE INDIVIDUALS,OUT SIDE OF EBAY. PLEASE NOTE IF YOU ARE ONE OF THESE INDIVIDUALS PLEASE DO NOT BID ON ANY OF OUR ITEMS.BB"


Now I make that ten spelling or grammatical errors. How about you? But here's the rub...the Seller of the items is........a dealer of antiquarian and collectable Literature !

Think I'll not bother,then.

Got to Fly!
Gulliver

[Gulliver]

Try this one! The History of The Belgian Racing Pigeon;part Five.
So good that there were FOUR previous volumes!

And I know you will all want to rush onto E-Bay to buy it. It's said to be very scarce(really) and could be yours for just £34.95-with FREE P & P! Truly irresistable!

Don't All Rush, and please form an orderly queue!

Happy Reading

Gulliver
(I may not be in the mess-room when you get back)

[Geoff Anderson]

Seen outside a Bangkok temple.
IT is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
Dry cleaners Bangkok ,
Drop your trousers here for the best results.
Cafe Bangkok.
Open severn days a week and weekends.
Finally.
OZ sign.
Take notice: When this sign is underwater, this road is impassable.
Geoff

[Geoff Anderson]

This one is for Gulliver.

[Gulliver]

Nice ones Geoff(in Horn of Plenty).

Years ago I lived next to a School for The Deaf. They had a Bell,plus a Huge Door Knocker at the Entrance. The Sign read " PLEASE KNOCK LOUDLY FOR ATTENTION". Some Wag had sprayed in Aerosol Paint" VERY LOUDLY"...... ( Very Disrespectful!)


But my favourite has always been a local farm-shop and garden ornament centre. A sign outside reads

FOR SALE -- HALF-CUT WHISKEY BARRELS

I bet they are,too! Hic)

Gulliver

[Red Lead Ted]

here:s one thats very fitting for a ships crew to have a tarpauline muster, there was something wrong if you wernt on the way out: and look who were next door? a good old scrap with the barberian society? good night had by all regards terry.

[happy daze john in oz]

Gulliver, does it by any chance have a section on pigeon pie?? Very tasty when correctly done.

[alf corbyn]

hi dave. as a steward our smoko's were mainly in the mess room or saloon or on the hatch in front of the bridge. the most informative source of information was the readers digest. it had many snippets of info plus spelling and obscure words and plenty of stories. on the castle boats we also had whist drives dart matches and quizzes, so there was lots of things to do and discuss. on the smaller boats we mixed with the deck and engine boys and we all got on well. cheers. alf

[Gulliver]

You're so right,Alf. I know people tend to knock the 'Readers Disgust' these days, but it was always a good old read to dip into and learn something. I suppose all that has disappeared now with the internet,it's great of course,but not the same as picking up a book and flipping through it.
We used to regularly exchange both our Seafarers Society and our paperback libraries,in ports worldwide.That was with other foreign ships,too.Thank God for the English language.! These days they would miss that interaction between other ships-it was always good to see how the 'other half' lived on their ships.

John in Oz was asking about Pigeon Pie,so I've found one for him.The contents may be a bit tasteless and chewy though!

Cheers
Gulliver

[happy daze john in oz]

Gulliver mate, will that warm in the microwave?