Virtual Ship

[Chris Allman]

I have just had a meeting with the Toolbox, it did not say a word so I sacked it. I have another one on order from Halfords but it could be some time, perhaps the Chief Engineer if we have one could lend you a shifter or is that a snifter, perhaps both. I also got stopped by an Italian guy who said he was a qualified officer. He is looking for a job. He told me had accidentally fallen off his last ship and is looking for another ship that might be away for a few years, as he said he had some trouble at home. He also said he knew a good moldavion stewardess if we needed one, she is also good with a video camera apparently.

Chris.

[Colin Pook]

Hello Mike, count me in. Pick me up at St. Anns Head at Milford., and if I've got to do a watch, can I have the farmers on the 4~8 ( I like my 8 hours in the rockaby) and can I bring my dog?
Cheers
Colin

[Les Woodard]

Here was I thinking it was the way I parted my hair because there does not seem to be any bugger on board so hope you have more luck Colin when Mike picks you up. Alright lads I can take a hint. It is not my fault that the tucker is not up to BOT standard I only carry it from the galley to the mess and if we ship a green one well that is not my fault it is that Italian captain up on the boat deck altering course to blow dry his hair in the breeze.

[Chris Allman]

Its not your fault Les, its the wind blowing through all those holes that's making the food cold and blowing the froth off our beer.

[happy daze john in oz]

Beer, what beer? Has no one told you this ship is a temperate one. Not designed that way but Vernon the terrible used all the grog money to but food, but what we aresupposed to do with two small Hovis is beyond comprehension, and to make matters worse he used the butter to grease the ships cat before he sold it to the natives. Said it would help the deal to slip through.

[Les Woodard]

Bloody hell Chris you have let the cat out of the bag to those mid ship blokes and now we will have to either drink it all now or share it. How about we start a bar up and sell it? Now that Vern has caught the cat that was let out of the bag and not only that but that tub of tallow that we where keeping in the butter container seems to have been purloined by the self same person to grease the deal. We will have to figure out how to BBQ the Roo leg that Vern got us without letting as I do not know about you but I am suspect as the where those witchety grubs came from as they look a lot like those crawley things that where in the defrosted meat locker. Still not seen anymore of my rose tinted mate to relate more fairy stories that he is composing for the kids books either. Still at least we can get legless on number five now that they all know about our stash.

[Michael Lawrence]

Colin. What's this about bringing your dog. We've got 2 perfectly good 'dogs' on board so I suppose tho we could use yours to supplement our diet of bush babies and kangeroo with the odd croc tail thrown in by Doc V.ernon (put the full stop in the wrong place)
Les don't go on maligning Den' and Terry's cooking. We Know it's not up to the tucker you got fed on that Itie job. (pasta with everything). Den and Terry come from that old school of cookery, the take it or leave it one. Anyway it keeps the sharks well fed. I'm just off ashore to post the mail has anyone got any pleas to send to Murdoch and his press or will he have to make do with what comes off the mobiles?

[Les Woodard]

Hello Hello anyone there or am I to dumb to get of before the water starts rising past my lug holes. I can take a hint you know. Maybe those roo burgers where a bit of and glad that I did not eat any.

[Ivan Cloherty]

Help !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have tried to resist joining this ship, but woke up and found I'd been Shangied, can you please ask the Moldovan Stewardess to sail closer to Giglio as I want to get off and please do not strap any tabnabs to me to help me stay afloat!

[Dennis McGuckin]

Ivan, don't know about the rest of it, but you are safe from the tab nabs.
Im still adrift [hiding out] in the desert.
Den.