Elocution Lessons

[Jim Brady]

How about knickerless.

[Keith at Tregenna]

No comment. K.

[William Gardner]

No comment. K.

see you picked that one off me keith it is a nice reply with no malice

[Keith at Tregenna]

How about knickerless.

Dead old, that one: Nicholas girls should not climb trees. ?

K.

[happy daze john in oz]

How about knickerless.

You mean like half the current females?

[john sutton]

DEFINITION OF APLOMB.

His Lordship was in the study at Downton Abbey when

the butler approached and coughed discreetly.



"May I ask you a question my Lord?"

"Go ahead Carson" said his Lordship.



"I am doing the crossword in The Times and I have

found a word I am not too clear on"

"What word is that?" said his Lordship.

"Aplomb" my Lord.



"Now that's a difficult one to explain.

I would say it is self assurance or complete composure"

"Thank you my Lord, but I'm still a little confused".



"Let me give you an example to make it clearer.

Do you remember a few months ago the Duke and

Duchess of Cambridge arrived to spend a weekend with us."

"I remember the occasion very well , my Lord.

It gave the staff and myself much pleasure to look after them."

"Also", continued the Earl of Grantham, " do you remember

Will plucked a rose for Kate in the rose garden? "



"I was present on that occasion, my Lord,

ministering to their needs"

"While plucking the rose a thorn embedded itself

in his thumb very deeply" Carson replied,

"I witnessed the incident my Lord and saw the

Duchess herself remove the thorn and bandage

his thumb with her own dainty handkerchief."



"That evening the prick on his thumb was so sore,

Kate had to cut up his venison from our own estate,

even though it was extremely tender."

"Yes my Lord, I saw everything that transpired that evening."



"The next morning while you were pouring coffee

for Her Ladyship, Kate enquired of Will with a loud voice,"

"Darling does your prick still throb?

And you, Carson, did not spill one drop of coffee!

Now that is aplomb!"

[John Gill]

How about knickerless.

Not sure Jim- could be reminiscent of Grimsby Fish Dock on a Friday afternoon.

---------- Post added at 09:59 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:11 AM ----------

How the hell did a post that started out as 'elocution lessons' degenerate into ladies underwear? Who's complaining? not me !

[Richard Quartermaine]

Jeeves was attending to the towels whilst his lordship was in the bath.
His lordship had had beans that evening and had a touch of flatulence.

As Jeeves left the bathroom he said, "I'll fetch it, M'lord.
His lordship thought old Jeeves must be getting senile.

When Jeeves returned with a tray his lordship asked "What the hell was this".
"M'lord, I distinctly heard you ask for a bottle of Bovril and a hot water bottle"
Richard

[happy daze john in oz]

Not sure Jim- could be reminiscent of Grimsby Fish Dock on a Friday afternoon.

---------- Post added at 09:59 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:11 AM ----------

How the hell did a post that started out as 'elocution lessons' degenerate into ladies underwear? Who's complaining? not me !

Ladies without underwear, and as the blind man went passed the fish shop he called out 'good night ladies' Just like Cappy with his fish fingers.