Queens visit

[j.sabourn]

I should be so lucky. lucky lucky lucky. I should be so lucky. As said I passed them on to Cappy. The tights he gave to Mary. Has anyone noticed as more and more time is giving to every episode of normal family programmes. Was watching one the other night as usually walk away when on but was Home and Away, and without thinking said I wonder whos's doing what without thinking and then said Oh!! he"s banging him and he"s banging the bulkhead. The wife just laughed. years ago I would have been lectured on being discourteous. Shows normal people have been indoctrinated into what was once a non discussible subject. Cheers JWS

[Des Taff Jenkins]

Hi John.
I had some fabulous times ashore with female companions, but I missed out doing it on a single horse and trap, woe is me.
Cheers Des

Strangely I have actually met the Queen on two occasions though I doubt she can remember me.
First time was when I was at school and we were taken to Barrow in Furness where she was launching Britains first nuclear submarine and I along with a crowd of school mates were lining the walk around that she and the duke were having after the launch. I was in the front row and she stopped and talked to our teacher in charge of us and I was standing about 3 places further on.
2nd time was at a carriage driving event at Lowther Castle near Penrith and my mate (who was knocking off one of the female contestants in the single horse and trap section) got us into the Grooms Ball held at the end of the event. I was quietly necking the free G and T's when H.M. and the Duke came into the room and started circulating. The pair of them passed right in front of me and my pal but for some strange reason reason never stopped for a chat!!! which rather miffed me as I fancied comparing seafaring stories with Phil, him having been in the R.N. and me being in the M.N.
but hey ho at least the booze was free and there was a surfeit of female stable hands on the prowl.
rgds
JA

[Louis the fly]

The wearing of male tights is an interesting subject but not one I have studied in great depth. It is perfectly acceptable for ballet dancers to wear them on stage but they would not be welcome in Tesco.

Another thought has entered the mind perhaps if the watching public had all been wearing tights the Royal fleet may have slowed down a little.

[John Arton]

Des re: your#32
The owner of the pony and trap competitor was the wife of a wealthy business man who had a large engineering company in Kongs neck of the woods.
Unfortunately my mate (who had meet them by doing refurbishment and upgrades on houses they had brought in the South Lakes, got a bit too friendly with the wife which resulted in her drunken husband confronting us with a loaded shotgun one day threatening to blow my mates head off!!!!!! Eventually he calmed down after my mate promised to end the affair.
It was the first (but not the last) time I had a loaded gun pointed at me and both of us were nearly crapping ourselves. It put me off ever getting friendly with a horse owning female for a number of years!!!!!
rgds
JA

[Gulliver]

The wearing of male tights is an interesting subject but not one I have studied in great depth. It is perfectly acceptable for ballet dancers to wear them on stage but they would not be welcome in Tesco.

....mm,been in a few tight situations ,but certainly not in Tesco's tights,One prefers the M & S Max Support range really.Ballet.jpg

[gray_marian]

#35, 'One prefers the M & S Max Support range really.'

Would that be for the crutch alone Gulliver, or the legs too?
Think it was Jeremy Paxman that complained that M&S trunks lacked adequate support. Up to that point I had never given it a thought..... Put's me in mind of this old joke.

An attorney got home late one evening after a very taxing day trying to get a stay of execution for his client, William Wright, who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight.

His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed, and he was feeling tired and depressed. As soon as he got through the door, his wife started criticizing him.

"Your tie is crooked. You look a mess. There's a stain on your jacket. You missed dinner…"

The lawyer began rubbing his temples and tuned out his wife's harsh words. He went and poured himself a very large whisky and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub.

While he was in the tub, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client had been granted his stay of execution after all.

Realizing what a day he must have had, she relented a little and went upstairs to give him the good news. As she opened the bathroom door, the sight of her husband's rear end greeted her as he bent over naked drying his legs and feet.

"They're not hanging Wright tonight," she said.

The attorney whirled around and screamed hysterically, "For crying out loud, woman! Don't you ever stop!?"

[Des Taff Jenkins]

Hi Marian.
Here's another man who was badgered.
A man owns a small farm near Wagga Wagga. The Department of Labour claims he is not paying proper wages to his staff and sends a rep out to interview him.
"I need list of your employees and how much you pay them
"Well" replies the farmer,"There's my farm hand, I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here eighteen months and I pay her $150 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the halfwit. he works about 18 hours a day, seven days a week and does about 90% of the work. He gets about $10 a week, pays his own room and board and if he is lucky gets a bottle o whisky on Saturday."
"That's the guy I want to talk to, the halfwit." Says the rep.
"That," replies the farmer, "would be me."
Cheers Des

[happy daze john in oz]

I recall seeing the Queen way back in 1953 just after the Coronation as she did the rounds of driving past schools. We all stood and waved as the cat went past, but not our teacher Mis Bucanhan from Queensland, she bowed.

The I went to sea with UCl and discovered there was a lot more than just one queen.

[Gulliver]

I recall seeing the Queen way back in 1953 just after the Coronation as she did the rounds of driving past schools. We all stood and waved as the cat went past, ..

John,I thought you had gone to wave at the Queen,not some poor passing moggy !
Another trip to Keyboards R Us ?...