Tall Stories

[albertliss1935]

At sea in a tramp we would some times spend a month at a time at sea so to pass the time away we used to have a tall story competion and the winner would get a jar of pickles put in front of him.
This is one of the tall stories that I remember winning.
It was during the war I was in an old tramp and she was going so slow she lost touch with the convoy and got lost she was a coal burner and we run out of coal but we had a cargo of cigars and started burning them. the next thing a german submarine surfaced and told us heave to and said to our skipper capitan do you know how I found you our skipper replied I suppose you saw the smoke from our funnel. The german said no capitan I smelt the cigar smoke.

[Albert Bishop]

Rreminds me of a time we broke down in the Caribbean and I decided to do a bit of fishing. The long line I was using snagged something heavy, and when I pulled it in, I found it was a stern lantern from an old Spanish galleon, and do you know, it was still lit. Cheers, Albi.

[Doc Vernon]

Oh Albi!
Now that is really Swinging the Lamp
Cheers

[Frank Ferri]

Howz this for a TALL STORY?
Ships Night Watchman falls asleep on his shift so ships lines were not adjused to allow for drop in tide. In the morning, you could see daylight under the keel.
Frank ...

[E.Martin]

Go alongside some where in the Thames Estuary,When tide go's out we take the bottom,when the tide comes in we stay stuck to the bottom,then we have to start all the winches so the vibration helps release the vacuum caused by the mud,when the ship is released she comes up in a rush.

[Bill Cameron]

On a voyage down the Caribbean, on a small ship I was on, the Chief Steward ( known as Fingers Brown because of the lack of said fingers) sold so much of our dry stores in British Honduras now Belize, that on the last 5 days of the trip we ran out of bread and potatoes, we lived on Toast and chips for the rest of the voyage.

[alf corbyn]

a cargo boat i was on we ran out of food in the sargasso sea and lived on seaweed for a month while waiting to be towed out of the weed.cheers. alf

[happy daze john in oz]

Husband and wife on a bender and snorting cocaine. She is so P15ssed that she picks up the curry powder by mistake and they both have a snort. She ends up in a mulagtawny of a mess and him in a Korma.

[albertliss1935]

here is another tall story for you, I was on a ship during the war and every time we where painting and the bosun would knock us off for smoko or dinner he would always say square that up and knock off if you did not leave your paint on the bulkhead absolutely vertical he would go beserk we used to call him square that up behind his back. one day we where painting a bulkhead and we heard a huge explosion the ship had been torpedoed and the bosun come charging over and said square that up lads and take to the life boats.

[Doc Vernon]

Not to do with the Merc,but that Story brings to mind a Coparal (Cpl Nimmock)we had at SquarebashingTraining in the RAF at Bridgnorth ,who was always calling us ALL "you 'orrible little man" His Peak Cap well over his eyes and he was as short as a half Brick ! haha!
So we too gave him the nicname of 'Orrible little Man!
But to one of the Lads dismay one day he was lumbered calling the name out loud,and the consequences were 'Orrible! for the entire Squad! haha!
Cheers