Oh the things we did to amuse ourselves on long voyages

[John Arton]

On my 2nd trip as Chief Officer my wife once again came with me. We were on a Cape sized bulker running coal from Richards Bay to Le Havre.
There were a number of other wives on board and the Captain, along with his wife, also had his two children on board, a boy and girl, both teenagers.
The Capt. was a bit of a strait laced guy and insisted that his children be in bed by 22:00 each night, but they were allowed in the bar so long as they only drank soft drinks.
Now all the Officers were well into their evening drinkies in the bar and one evening on the long haul northbound, somehow the conversation got around to War films and the sound tracks to them. It was generally agrred that the Dambusters film had the best sound track, at which the 2nd Engineer produced a cassette (no CD's in those days) of sound tracks to great films, amongst which was of course the sound track to the 633 squadron, the Dambusters.
That set us all off signing and humming for those who could not sing. The Captains children were there and they joined in with gusto.
As you can imagine the Bar/Lounge on a Cape size bulker is a fairly large place. We had sofa's running alomg one bulkhead with coffee tables placed in front of them.
Around 22:00 when we were all well oiled some one suggested we should re-enact the 1000 bomber raids over Germany.
Great idea, so we split up. Using one of the coffee tables as a make belief Lancaster ,Myself and an engineer were pilots sitting at the front of the coffee table with other guys situated on and under the coffe table making up bomb aimers, front and rear gunners etc. The other troop re-enacted German night fighters, running around with their hands forming goggles over their eyes. Que lound music and the theme to the Dambusters and we were off. Empty beer tins provided both ammunition and bombs and within minutes we were all, including the Captains children who like their father were a bit strait laced, engaged in a huge dog fight over Dresden, which had somehow got transported to the South Atlantic Ocean.
The music got louder and louder, the screams of bombs going off and tracer bullets being fired got more intense as we approached our target accompied by the scream of Rolls Royce Merlin engines and Messerscmidts engines, when just as we were about to drop our final stick of bombs, the bar door flew open to and the Captain came in to complain about the raucous noises coming from the lounge disturbing his evening's reading. He took one look at all his officers plus wives and his two children, dashing round the lounge with daft markings on their faces, tossing empty (and so,metimes full) beer cans at each other whilst making the strangest of noises, shook his head and quickly retreated back to his cabin.
I am happy to report that my Lancaster made it back to home with only a few minor bumps and scrapes whilst claiming a direct hit on our target and in addition to shooting down two German night fighters.
Once safely back home at our(secret) air base somewhere in England (which again seemed to have been transported to the S. Atlantic Ocean, to relieve the stress of the raid we all repaired to the bar to toast our success, where strangely enough there were also some german night fighter pilots drinking with us. We showed them the same time honoured camarderie that all service men and merch. guys show to there fellows irrespective of race, colour or creed and carried on reliving the mission until the early hours.
Next day boy did we suffer and the Captain for some strange reason seemed a bit more off with us all than was usual. Days later when peace had broken out and VE day celebrations were over it transpired that the only problem had been was that he too had desperatly wanted to join in once he saw what was going on but had felt constrained because his children were there and he did not want to show himself up in front of them...told you he was a bit strange.
We were going to do an enactment of "The Cruel Sea" a week or so later but thought that was a bit to close to home, plus flooding the lounge for the submarines would have proved difficult at best.
rgds
Capt. John Arton (ret'd)

[Bill Cameron]

this post proves the old RN adage, Ratings get pissed. Senior Rates get socially confused. Officers get high spirited. And Officers and their Ladies. Senior Rates and their wives. Ratings and their women.

[Roger French]

Good yarn, but a minor point of order. 633 Squadron was fictional, a number used for the making of a film of the same name. The Dambusters were 617 squadron.

[Ivan Cloherty]

In the 50's and 60's I used to colour photographs for the crew. My mother quite an accomplished pen and ink drawer, she also used to design chocolate box covers for the big chocolate firm in Hull (Think it was Needlers, I know they had a factory in York also) so I guess I inherited a bit of her talent, my sister got most of it. I invested in a "Book" of photoraph paints, they came in books like gold leaf used to do, also invested in some expensive camel hair paint brushes.

In the 50's most photo's were black and white and I found myself when deep sea with nearly a full time job colouring photos of wives, sweethearts, girlfriends and children, surprising how many didn't know the colour of their loved one's eyes, so I wouldn't colour them until they found out, explaining if I'd given their loved ones blue eyes when they were in fact green they would be in deep **** once they got home. You can imagine the scene "Ah me darling faithfull husband, who never looks at another woman when he's away which feckin tart with the blue eyes do you remember more than me?" Some even trusted me with wedding photos. When I was on coasters the crew when they came back used to bring me their B & W wedding photos. I never charged anyone as I knew that the first one I charged for I would make a complete ******** of, because that's what happens in life. From there it went onto colouring photos of ships they had been on, kept me out a lot of mischief

On a sentimemental journey a couple of years ago I tried to find these books of photographic paints, but of course with modern day computer software and airbrushing there is no need of any such item, or so it would seem. Whilst applauding the modern system it would certainly not have given me the satisfaction that I experienced in my old fashioned method

[John Arton]

More amusements.
Shuffle board...there was a claim by a CP captain that he actually invented table snooker for ships using shuffle board techniques but as Kirsty Young? sang "But he's a liar and I'm not sure about you".
Also
Deck cricket.
Very popular on CP tankers, especially on the West Coast of Mexico run. Anchored off Salina Cruz waiting for a loading slot. Ball over the side was "6 and out".
Used to dive into the oggy from the main deck to recover the ball until some one noted that there were a large number of quite large sharks hanging around all the time (the swimming ones, not the human ones)
rgds
Capt. John Arton

[Mike Hall]

whist on a voyage from the panama canal towards new zealand,we passed a tanker
and most of the crew were on deck playing cowboys and indians.
as i remember they were all dressed for the part.
i had heard it gets to you at being at sea too long.

[happy daze john in oz]

Have seen it all now, watched a vidoe of a Princess line cruise ship with a full size SNOOKER TABLE and people playing. It is set up on gimbles and giros so it is always stable.

---------- Post added at 04:58 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:56 PM ----------

whist on a voyage from the panama canal towards new zealand,we passed a tanker
and most of the crew were on deck playing cowboys and indians.
as i remember they were all dressed for the part.
i had heard it gets to you at being at sea too long.

Mike you should have been on some of P&o and UCl, they often had a number playing QUEENS.

[Tony Wilding]

befor sailing on one voyage i bought some painting by numbers pictures, was suprised how good they looked when completed, also used to buy the evening news book of crosswords puzzles, then started putting ships in bottles. one ship i was on the chippie built a boat out of dunnage. a real dinghy,

[David Williams]

I remember one trip buying all the
material for making carpets,soon
lost interest,couldnt give it away,
so it got the old heave ho.
Dave Williams(R583900)

[john sutton]

From memory there was an organisation called "college of the sea".I started a course of shorthand and typing.Couldnt get to grips with the shorthand but at one time I could "touch type" a skill long lost.
Also I used to receive library books from them and at the time I was enthralled by motor racing and there was a time that I could name all the pre-war(2) drivers and grand prix winners and the history of auto union,mercedes,alfa and ERA.
does anyone else remember this service.
As a time indicator I left the sea in 57


john sutton