Just joking

[happy daze john in oz]

Vernon works hard at the Phone Company but spends
two nights each week bowling and plays golf every
Saturday.



His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard,
so for his birthday she takes him to a local
strip club.



The doorman at the club greets them and says,
"Hey, Vern! How ya doing?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to
this club before.



"Oh no," says Vern. "He's in my bowling league..."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Vern
if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.



His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable
and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"Oh, she's the waitress from the golf club
I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her
arms around Vern, starts to rub herself all
over him and says...
"Hi Vern. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Vern's wife, now furious,
grabs her purse and
storms out of the club.

Vern follows and spots her getting into a cab.
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in
beside her.

Vern tries desperately to explain how the stripper
must have mistaken him for someone else,
but his wife is having none of it.

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs,
calling him every 4 letter word in the book..

The cabby turns around and says,

'Geez Vern, you picked up a real bitch this time.'


VERN'S FUNERAL WILL BE FRIDAY AT 2:00 PM



Thankfully not the same one.

[j.sabourn]

Vernon is now compromised and is trying to keep his wife from getting on the merchant navy net . Did he split on you and your friend Helen in Kapstaad John ? JS

[Doc Vernon]

Oh i loved that one John! Her Indoors laughed so much too, and said that will be like you (Me that is ) in your Hey Days ! LOL
Cheers

[Keith at Tregenna]

Old Marko was in a gym one day pumping his muscles but he was continuously distracted by a hot chick who was equally exercising in the gym. Marko decided to call the trainer aside and asked him a question: Marko: I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use? TRAINER: use the ATM machine.

[Des Taff Jenkins]

Hi John.
That's like all your chickens coming home to roost.

[happy daze john in oz]

Hi John.
That's like all your chickens coming home to roost.

Des, just hope they do not start to lay.

[Keith at Tregenna]

An 84-year-old lady is waiting for her husband in Weatherspoons. Suddenly a handsome man enters and sits down a few seats away.

The man is so attractive that she just can't take her eyes off him.

After a short while, the man notices her staring, and approaches her.

Before the lady has time to apologise, the man looks her deep in the eyes and says to her in a sultry tone, "I'll do anything you'd like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn't matter how extreme or unusual it is, I'm game. I want £100, and there's another condition."

Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the lady asks him what his condition is.

"You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The lady takes a moment to consider the offer from the handsome man.

She whips out her handbag and puts £100 into his hand.

She then looks him square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly,

"Paint my house."

Our needs change as we get older, we get smarter and tend to look for bargains.