Elocution Lessons

[Les Woodard]

I was in the Pound shop a few days ago heard a voice be hind me which said, You fuc*ing useless piece of ****,looked round it was a woman telling her husband or partner what she thought of him.
Again she called him a useless Cu**.
I beat a hasty retreat.

Well maybe he is a fuc*ing useless piece of ****. Have met plenty of them in my time and have expressed my feeling the same way LOL.

[j.sabourn]

Got involved unintentionally once in a fish and chip shop in Dundee coming back to the ship one night in Dundee. ( Cappy wasnt in the same Chippie). This bloke started slapping this woman around and I stepped between them, got a lot of verbal abuse also from the woman.Meanwhile the Chippie had phoned the police and I got thrown in the back of the Paddy wagon, Took some talking to get myself out before they went back to the station with this couple. Vowed never to get involved in other peoples domestic disputes again. JS

[happy daze john in oz]

. We have some places in society today that needs Dettol , and we could get rid of 99% of all known Germs[/QUOTE]

And just how big would it have to be to get rid of the biggest Germ....an Herr Merkel??????

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worst I ever heard from females was those who wrked in the rope factory just outside of Sunderland. On a bus one day when they all got on, not just the language but some very graphic accounts of their sex life.

[j.sabourn]

#13... Just the Hood Haggies girls. Cappy knows most of them. Think Mary started her working life there before Cappy took her away from all that and promised to find her a nice fellah. Along came big bad Rob. Cheers JS PS She used her wooden leg as a fid, was on all sorts of bonus" s for the speed at which she coud put an eye splice in an 8" rope. JS

[cappy]

yes marys diary holds many names from ist trip apprentices in north shields to officers of the watch and old men in goings on i the rex and a certain pub over there of one so drunk he never realised she had the wooden leg till one of the splinters turned septic in his appendage a painful treatment was required......but no names .............yet any way

[j.sabourn]

Your talking about me Bruvver again. Cheers John S

[Captain Kong]

Here is Mary with her Wooden Leg, telling me all about Cappy.
Brian.

[cappy]

ok brian nuff said i wont say anything about the goings on with mary if you dont ....we can just blame him from perth and that other feller applying for the job .....mums the word

[Ivan Cloherty]

Looks like an upright girl to me, leave her alone you dastardly swine

[Chris Allman]

It will never improve while the television so called celebrities and so called comedians male and female do it and are allowed to get away with it at all times of the day, never mind the 9 o'clock watershed, the canned audience laughter somehow puts an acceptance to it all. The kids watch, the teenagers watch and the adults watch, they think if its OK for them to do it on TV and get laughter, then its OK for me to do it when I want. Call me old fashioned but I cannot accept females telling crude jokes or swearing at any time, there is no need for it and to my mind it is totally unacceptable. I endorse what has been said how seamen were mostly polite and respectful when dealing with the fairer sex and had a respect for whose company they were in, toning the language to suit the occasion.