Liverpool Humour.

[Jim Brady]

True story.Ive just been into Liverpool and had a pint in the Pen&Wig,on the way home on the bus I was aware of a bit of a pong.This guy got off,the driver got from behind the wheel and asked where had he been sitting,as it happened this guy's bulkhead had carried away!!(I must add it's not a regular occurrence in Liverpool).Many women on the bus asking what had happened I chipped in "his bulkhead carried away" what do you mean they asked "he's shlt himself said I".The women giving it out "the dirty so and so" and various comments,I said maybe the man was'nt well and it was an accident that could happen to anyone.This woman quick as a flash said "Maybe he has just looked at his gas bill"!!!!what humour.
Regards.
Jim.B.

[Keith Tindell]

In my time at sea, and with a scouse crew, the scouse sense of humour was always unbeatable. a run ashore with them was always a scream KT

[Doc Vernon]

Would fully agree with that Keith! Always had a good time with the few that i knew! Great bunch of Lads! Cheers

[John Pruden]

we can see a funny side to everything that happens in life or death its our nature to ?jp

[gray_marian]

L/pool humour similar to Glasgow.
My sister Morag is a Care in the Community Worker. One of her regulars, Margaret who has severe mental disabilities is also blind, were on an outing. Whilst travelling on the bus there was an awful pong, Margaret was adamant it 'wisnae me' even though "it" was dripping from their seat. The driver had to be informed and he evacuated the other passengers saying he had to return to the depot....... Eventually, a taxi agreed to take them to Margaret's home, using Morag's coat for seat protection. After removing the grotty clothing, showering and drying her hair face to face, Margaret in her broad Glasgow accent said, 'haw Morag hen, hiv you been eating garlic?'....

[Keith at Tregenna]

Remember years ago: Oxford Street, London. Rushing to an appointment chanced upon a lady acting strangely: She was shouting loudly brum, brum, bip bip, I am a car, BRUMMM BRUMMMM, I am a car etc. Hoping to avoid her as said in a rush. I turned to cross the road, she caught my arm and asked me to help carry her bags, normally would have been a bit more sympathetic but as said in a rush: brum, brum, bip bip, I am a car, BRUMMM BRUMMMM she re-iterated, all I could do as I hopped on the nearest bus was to reply sorry, in a rush - but if your a car (automobile) why not put your bags in your boot (trunk).

[John Pruden]

me and red lead ted were talking today we often take the p.ss out of any that pass the fella on the end he has got one of these wood burning things. he must have just lit it as we were talking a bit smoky I asked ted I think mike is picking a new fu....g pope in there? laughter and humour is our bread and butter?when in hospital I treat the nurse as trolley dollies they are always glad to see the back of me?jp

[Lou Barron]

Thats what we had in our cell in Changi Jail

[Stan Carter]

while i was still working, i happened to be patrolling the town one afternoon when i spied one of our more colourful drunks hanging off a lamppost for balance. i thought i would do a good deed for the day by giving him a ride home. on parking the car, i said "gid day tommy, how she going", he replied, "jeese stan, i'm pi...d". as i was reaching to open the door i looked down and saw the brown stuff running out of both pant legs. turning away i said " well tommy your nearly home, just take it easy and keep on the sidewalk". he was'nt getting into my car in that state.

regards, stan

[John Pruden]

stan that war a regular saying Monday morning quote} THE PARTY WAS GREAT TILL SOME C... **** IN MY TROUSERS?JP