Liverpool Humour.

[Richard Quartermaine]

On Wednesday morning I was lying on a trolley whilst all the paperwork was being processed for my hernia op by a very competent young middle aged nurse with a unmistakable Scouse accent. We talked more about Liverpool than my procedure and it turned out that her father was in the MN. I told her about our site and she gladly took down the URL address saying her father would be very interested. Hope he joins, I'd like to tell him that his daughter was a credit to her profession.
Richard

[Jim Brady]

I remember another time which caused a good laugh.The Metropolitan Cathedral (Paddys wigwam)was'nt very old when it was noticed that cracks were appearing in the concrete uprights.A top architect was brought in to carry out an inspection,he was quite high up in a very precarious position on a ledge.A crowd started to gather looking up at him,this guy in the crowd shouted "Dont jump your giro's in the post" to a great roar of laughter.That was most appropriate at the time as that was another time when a lot of people were out of work and in receipt of a Giro.They used to say at the time Q.whats green and white and gets you drunk?A.a Giro!!
Regards.

Jim.B.

[John Gill]

On Wednesday morning I was lying on a trolley whilst all the paperwork was being processed for my hernia op by a very competent young middle aged nurse with a unmistakable Scouse accent. We talked more about Liverpool than my procedure and it turned out that her father was in the MN. I told her about our site and she gladly took down the URL address saying her father would be very interested. Hope he joins, I'd like to tell him that his daughter was a credit to her profession.
Richard

Beware of Scousers wielding pre-op shaving gear Richard- today is Friday, hope you're up and about.

[Richard Quartermaine]

Beware of Scousers wielding pre-op shaving gear Richard- today is Friday, hope you're up and about.

Up and about John but sore as bu**ery!
Richard

[John Pruden]

mind you don't bust your stitches Richard talking to the scouse nurse?jp

[happy daze john in oz]

In my time at sea, and with a scouse crew, the scouse sense of humour was always unbeatable. a run ashore with them was always a scream KT

So was running away from some UCL stewards

[happy daze john in oz]

Up and about John but sore as bu**ery!
Richard

WElcome to the club Richard, but the good news it gets better.........................eventualy

[happy daze john in oz]

Three ladies were in a lift when one said what is thta lovely smell,
My perfume replied one of th eladies, my husband brings it back from overseas for me and it costs $500 an ounce.
Oh said the other you must smell mine, my husband also gets from overseas but it costs $750 an ounce.
Just then there is an awful smell in the lift and the two ladies cry out, what was that?

Broccoli said the third lady $2.50 a kilo

[John Gill]

So was running away from some UCL stewards

Always dodgy turning your back on them John- they're all good runners when they spot their prey.

[Keith at Tregenna]

2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it.

Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.

"R hey lad" they say "gissa lift".

The trucker once again explains that he has no room as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls. The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back will he take them and he agrees. They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down.

Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester Police pulls him up for speeding. The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies Scouse Eggs. The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look. He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it.
He gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible. The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that requires so many officers.

"I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already hatched and the b*****ds have managed to nick a motorbike already".