Wonders of the english language

[happy daze john in oz]

If the number 2 pencil is the most popular pencil, why isn’t it number 1?



If quitters never win and winners never quit, who came up with “quit while you’re ahead”?


Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?



If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why did they write a song about it?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?



Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?



Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why do they call it a TV set when its only one?

Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ?



Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?







I dunno, why do we?

[Keith Tindell]

On holiday in Greece many years ago , the owner of the hotel was just learning English, and was talking about the early part of the year ie *spring*, he asked us to spell it for him, when we did and explained that *spring* was the same in several different scenarios , jumping up, water from the ground etc, he just shook his head in complete confusion, what a crazy language he said, kt