Put Downs

[John Arton]

I would guess that most of us have been subjected to withering put down at some point in our life, be it from our wife's or shipmates.
My late father in laws favourite was to describe a useless person as " as much use as a chocolate fireguard".
Over the years I have been subjected to a number of put downs (SWMBO mainly) most of which are un-printable even here.
I came across these famous political put downs whilst on the internet, can anyone else recall their put downs?
26 of the greatest political insults in history
rgds
JA
p.s.
Just back from a fortnight in Florida where it rained heavier than an Indian monsoon grrrrrr

[j.sabourn]

I often used to say as much use as my left testicle. However I must state categorically to the best of my knowledge such as is stated is ok. Cheers JS

[vic mcclymont]

The best I read about was Bernard Manning at his club. He was in full flow, just before the interval, when this guy got up and walked towards the exit. Manning stopped his act, focused on the guy and took the p*** out of him. Manning finally relented and asked where he was going? The reply silenced Manning,"i am going for a p*** before the comic comes on".
Vic

[Captain Kong]

A fellow I know could never understand why his Mother always called him a "Son of a Bitch"
Brian

[Jim Brady]

I came across this whilst looking at something else,26 put downs.
Regards.
Jim.B.
26 of the greatest political insults in history

[Red Lead Ted]

My personal favourite for the village idiot that every ship carried..................... Was your as much use as an ash tray on a motorbike

[Braid Anderson]

I was building a bridge in the Southern Highlands of PNG, when one of the local 'landowner' leaders came to see me, complete with backup bully boys bearing bush knives. He was making all sorts of demands, accompanied by threats to burn down my compound, kidnap my wife (please do) and so on, complete with references to the Almighty. When he paused for breath, I said "Never mind, God probably still loves you, even if nobody else does." He finally walked out the gate, when he realised his backups had dispersed with grins on their faces.

[j.sabourn]

If wit was s..t, you"d be constipated. JS

[happy daze john in oz]

My dad would say, 'Put he down you just don't no where she has been'.

- - - Updated - - -

My dad would say, 'Put he down you just don't no where she has been'.

[Braid Anderson]

As I said to someone just the other day "Pity your smart mouth isn't connected to a smart brain."
An old foreman once said to me many years ago "Work it oot yersel' son, you're the smart college boy."
One bloke I overheard saying to a woman - don't know if she was his wife - "Have ye ever considered having brain surgery? They might find it!"