Wanted, more Vikings

[Rodney Mills]

Holy cow! I'm a Viking-American: years ago an optician asked if I was Scandinavian, I answered him no, next it was are you Irish? Again I told him no. Not giving up he informed me that I must have a "Viking in the woodpile," He then proceeded to tell me that green eyes were introduced to Europe by the Scandinavians, and that probably accounted for mine. The prevalence of Green eyes in Ireland must have been due to the inordinate pillage, plundering and rape conducted by those hairy-assed tourists from Norway, Denmark and Sweden.

A couple of years ago, I went to an Orthopedic Surgeon whose specialty was hands. He took one look at the knots in the palms of both of my hands and told me I had "someone's disease" and come back when it gets worse, but to hold up on the operations as long as possible, because of the scaring, blah, blah!

Now I have no interest in science, mechanics or medicine for that matter, my interests lean more to impractical things like art, writing, daydreaming, ballet, opera, and rock and roll and of course, romance. My wife is the practical one, she's into fixing things, finding out how things work, and medicine...Oh!.. and thankfully romance too.

So today I'm playing catch-up on "Friends," and I read this thread "Scotland's Navy". I yelled out to my sweetie, "What's the name of those things I've got in the middle of my hands?"

"Dupuytren's Contracture," she yells back.

I proceeded to tell her that I have unequivocal evidence that I am a Viking, green eyes and curling palms.

Quick as a flash she dashes into the bedroom and I can hear her moving furniture in front of the door barricading herself in. No just kidding.

A thought though, it seems like we have enough British and Australian-Vikings, plus me, to crew a Viking longboat. We've got Captain Kong on the "steering-board," Roger (ex-cop) as security—guarding the swag and the women—, Doc as chief organizer and factotum, me as the cook, and perhaps Marion trussed-up and screaming in the bow for effect, could be our first captive. She always wanted to go to sea. John or is it Johnny Walker could be in charge of the beer, and everyone knows Welsh/Australian/Vikings can sing, so Des Taff Jenkins could sing out, "in-out, or up and at em boys," or what ever Vikings chant.

Ok, we need a few more (curly) hands to handle the whores...oops! I mean oars. Only fully qualified Vikings need apply. The rest of you are like chooks, waiting to be plucked.

Discharge books will have a photo of one or two curly hands (two could mean you/me are officers?) If so, look for another bleddy cook).

Finally, it's a home trade, we're just going to sack G.B. (excluding Boltostani, the Sheilas are too ugly).

Skol, Rodney

P.s. Rodger what's the odds of two Southenders fantasizing being on a vertual longboat?

[gray_marian]

#1, Rodney!!!!..............'effect' is it?...........I'll give you 'effect'

[Roger Dyer]

Rodders, I rather like the job earmarked for me. Forgive me for salivating as I write, but am I correct in assuming that I shall be O.I.C. of Rape and Pillage ?.....do please tell me I'm not dreaming.....it's going to look so good
on my C.V...........When do we sail ?

......Roger

[john walker]

Post #1 Rodney, that sounds like heaven to me. Or as us Vikings prefer it Valhalla. Skoll Johnny Walker

[Dennis McGuckin]

Glad you are keeping your pillaging to the UK.
Ireland has had it's share, and then some!

[Captain Kong]

excluding Boltostani, the Sheilas are too ugly). Rod
.
. That is right Rodney, They are so Ugly they have to have their faces covered up by law. and wear bin bags. They would Scare any Viking.
Cheers
Brian

[Frederick Lacey]

Near me there is an estate called the Vikings Estate, consisting of Viking Road...Longship Way...Narvik Close...
Viborg Gardens...Rurik Court...Midguard Way...its possible that some of your Vikings are hiding out, would you
like me to make a few enquiries......F.

[Rodney Mills]

Rodger. First rule of a Viking longboat, all officers should have two curly palms. Being as it's you, you can still be in charge of rape, pillage, and plunder as a Constable. The thought of you salivating over OUR plunder makes me quite ill, which is poor form for a Viking. I wouldn't think our first TROPHY Marion would appreciate dribble all over her either.

Cheers, Rodney (Rodders, I haven't been called that since my M.N. days, still, we are all ship mates aboard this longboat, right?)

[Frederick Lacey]

Hi Rodders... We had our share of the Vikings many, many years ago. Fred.


http:Brithnoth

[Lou Barron]

Does the Viking Long boats have a peggy if so can i put my name down cause i thing there is Viking somewhere in the Barrons