What is old age

[Frederick Lacey]

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up,
the doctor tells them that they are physically okay, but they might want to start writing things
down to help them remember.
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. "Want anything while
I'm in the kitchen?' he askes. 'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure'.
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she askes.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so not to forget it?.
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that that, write it down? she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries
and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!.
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and
hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast'

Fred.

[Braid Anderson]

I suppose the following might be classed as a sign of old age. It's an email I sent to the office manager of a company whose logistics I used to handle as their Lae agent. She wanted to know why I did what I do in PNG (adopting/fostering kids mostly)

Hi Agnes,
Beca needs a father, which is obvious when she’s with me. She needs lots of cuddles, and doesn’t like to let me out of her sight. I would really love to keep her for good, but that’s basically a selfish thought. I’m 74, and could drop dead any time. Then she’d have no father or mother. Her mother Ann Mary is still a young woman, a deserted wife with a good job. But she thinks her young life is slipping away from her, and feels tied down by Beca. So she resents Beca, and tends to neglect her. My purpose is to give her a break sometimes to be herself. Also, to give them time away from each other, so maybe they can understand that they really actually love each other. So far it seems to be starting to work – Ann Mary asked for Beca to come back.
Most of the other kids belong to Agnes – she and Ann Mary are sisters, and my nieces by marriage. Their mother Linda was my wife’s sister (6 sisters, 1 brother). Agnes and her husband get along quite well, and both have part-time jobs. But, with 5 young children, tempers can fray at times. I simply take 2 or 3 at a time, to give Mum and Dad a little more time to themselves. While the kids enjoy themselves in a different environment.
Sharon is different, and I haven’t seen her since leaving Lae. She’s now 16 and will soon be a young woman. She was Linda’s ‘late’ baby, and therefore Agnes and Ann Mary’s young sister. Linda was probably the best of the sisters, married to a not-nice man. She died of mouth cancer just over 6 years ago. Her husband didn’t care much, so I used to cook her all sorts of food, then put it through the blender so she could eat it. During her final weeks in hospital she was incontinent, and soiled herself. So I bought a rubber sheet, 3 sets of cotton sheets and a few nightdresses, so she could at least die with some dignity, instead of in squalor. You know what the hospitals are like here.
Anyway, about 5 years ago Linda’s husband re-married. The new wife regularly threw Sharon out of the house. I just made sure there was a bed for her when it happened. I also bought her school uniforms and books, and paid her school fees, as her father couldn’t care less. I often dropped her off at school on my way to work. She was free to come and go, all I did was give her some sense of security. There were just 3 rules – she mustn’t steal, mustn’t be nasty to anyone in my house, and she shouldn’t go too far from the flat after dark.
As for ‘my’ 2 kids, that’s much simpler. Their father was a drunken bully, and their mother quite incapable of taking care of them by herself. She’s the ‘simple’ sister, not very bright, and can’t talk properly. She’s my haus meri, but not very good at it. I do most of the cooking etc, but she does a good job of the laundry, when reminded. But, what the hell, at least she’s with her kids, and they have their mother as well as Papa. Though I have to talk sternly to the kids sometimes when they make fun of her. She’s not an idiot, and can do some things really well. She spends hours and hours making really good bilums. Then gives them away. I’ve finally convinced her she should be selling them, not giving them away. Kids; “Where’s Mummy Damar?” Me: “In the bilum factory.” (She has her own room).
Incidentally, I originally bought this block from the husband of ‘Big Ann Mary’, another of the sisters. Earlier this year he ran off and married a Goroka woman. So I’ve been taking care of her and her two teenage schoolboys Adam and Raymond since March. They live in what used to be my ‘weekender’. She makes herself useful in the garden quite often. The boys get a bit lazy, so when the grass gets too long, I cut back on their food. They soon get the message, and so does the grass! The block is about two acres, so it takes some work to look after. There’s a large dip in the ground between house and creek, which I call Pumpkin Hollow. I’m growing pumpkins and melons there, with beans and passionfruit along the fence – when I can keep the chokos in check. Just picked one ‘Butternut’ pumpkin about 2kg. One big watermelon soon, looks like it will be over 10kg.
I was in the garden transplanting Broccoli and Okra seedlings when it started to rain. It’s still raining, which is why this email is so long. The wanderers are due home any minute. They better not be too late, because I’ve already started cooking rice with chicken, potato, beans, broccoli, okra, and some thick chicken gravy. They’re always hungry when they come back. Even though I give them plenty of food when they leave. But no matter how much I give them, the wantoks at the village can soon make it vanish.

Cheers
Braid Anderson

[Doc Vernon]

What is old age!
Mainly a pain in the rear and many other places too!
But suppose there are good things! Mmmmm!
Will have to think on what! Eeeek!
Cheers

[Des Taff Jenkins]

Hi John.
Here's to you as young as you are
And here's to me as old as I am
And as old as I am, and as young as you are
I'm as young as you are as old as I am.
Cheers Des

Bronze at Sydney Olympicss062 (Small).jpg

[happy daze john in oz]

It has often been said you are only as old as the person you are feeling????????????????????

[Frederick Lacey]

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous
young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and
said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful',
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

Fred.

[John Pruden]

when you look at a pretty woman and not get memories when you don't smell the perfume as she walks by that's when you are getting old when a women 2 years younger than you and you say the old woman who lives down the road. if these things happen to you its time to go? me I get turned on at funerals all them women in black stockings that would put life back into my carcus so members I am not there yet jp

[Braid Anderson]

Reading my original post, makes me sound like an old mother hen, but I'm not really. It took me a couple of months earlier this year to hack the garden out of the overgrown hillside behind the house. I had to gently terrace it, and it's full of stones. But I just keep adding 'used' sawdust from the chicken farm and rake it in - and the stones out. The garden paths are made from the raked-out stones! But I'm now getting broccoli up to 25cm in diameter, 10cm okra, good Pak Choy and snake beans, a few lettuce, and a profusion of tomatoes. I originally tried planting Grosse Lise, but they got diseased. I then found some small local tomatoes growing wild. Planted some of them and they haven't looked back - they grow like weeds! They're only 2 to 4cm, but plenty of them. Earlier this year, before the garden started to produce, the work was scarce, and we were literally going hungry. I lost a lot of weight, because what there was went to the kids first. No dole or social security here, you earn your keep or go hungry. Now we have our own veges, and I get cheap chicken and eggs from the chicken farm.
Off to Lae Monday, to make up a dozen special caskets for the remains of WW2 soldiers exhumed by Veteran Affairs, and make their gravestones. We will then have 2,832 in the cemetery. Also make preparations (scaffolds etc) for cleaning down all the war cemetery structures in mid-September. So it's back to earning food money!
The house was built on the cheap. Cut down a few of my trees, and got a walkabout sawmill in to cut them into suitable planks, and so on. Water from further up the creek, to a tank on the hill behind the house. Unreliable power from PNG Power, who have just connected it 7 months after I paid them to. Meanwhile I brought up the 5.5kva diesel generator I originally bought for the company, work for which has now dwindled to almost nil. So it's now standby for the house. The house is a bit rough, but perfectly liveable - and solid. The outside wall cladding is vertical 6" x 1" planking. So I now have a 4-bedroom house and a 2-bedroom house on a 2-acre block in the cool of the hills. All paid for, even if I am currently near broke.

[Braid Anderson]

If of any interest, I attach article about me in St Andrews Citizen newspaper 1st August. Also, below, is a link to Facebook 'Braid's Kids'

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Braid...54206851434709 standrewscitizen 010814.pdf

[j.sabourn]

#27... John as long as you havent reached the stage of necrophilia, you are still young. I always liked black on a woman, however my partner doesnt, we are very incompatable in many ways, donrt know why shes hung around for 53 years. Cheers and the best of luck with the Black. John S