Laurel and Hardy Day

[Captain Kong]

Does anyone have Laurel and Hardy Days?
Mine started yesterday,
I was in my office upstairs, SHE shouts up for me, I jump up and open the door, in flip flops the door jams on my toes and I fall over in pain and cut my elbow on the door handle. Blood running down my arm. My toes are in agony from the door.
I stagger down stairs, bathe the arm and SHE puts on a plaster.
Now wht do you want? I want a picture in the lounge moving into the dining room.
I lift off the picture two hooks nailed into the wall, I cannot find my plyers so use the secatures instead and one hook flips off and hits me in the eye. The nails are in the carpet so rubbing my hands through the carpet one sticks into the side of my hand, more blood, I go into the dining room, SHE has my hard hat from my locker, wear this SHE says. I cannot find my hammer so use the steak tenderiser hammer to knock the nails into the hooks, I hit my thumb and drop the hammer onto my sore toes and end up on the floor rolling over in agony. SHE is rolling over on the floor laughing. Not bleddy funny.
I eventually get the picture up on the wall.
This morning Sunday, SHE wants a cup of tea in bed. I go down stairs to the kitchen, make a pot of lovely tea, go to the fridge and take out the milk jug, HER favourite, 45 year old Poole Pottery, it fell off the unit and hits the floor and smashes throwing broken pottery and milk everywhere, I jump aside and hit the teapot full of boiling tea, that falls off the unit , throwing broken pottery and boiling tea all over the kitchen and scalding my legs, I only have shorts on.
The kitchen is now flooded and full of broken pots.
I then have a big clean up, SHE is screaming upstairs. sweep up the pottery and then mop the floor, make her another cup of tea with a tea bag in a cup. SHE , `I dont like tea made in a cup`. thanks for that.
I am trying to clean up and then have to soogie all the Units where the milk and tea have splashed up on.
I then make myself a cup of coffee. It took over an hours work. and still getting ear ache for her prized 45 year old milk jug.
I am now confined to my office, , and do not come out , SHE says.
Ah Peace at last.
Have a nice day
Brian.

[cappy]

well brian a bit of bad weather now and again lets us know we are alive and kicking .....or should i say alive and being kicked .....so for the rest of the day in geordie gaaaaan canny

[Keith Tindell]

Hope you didnt bet on the National or do the lottery, i can assure you it would have been a waste of time and money, have a nice day of what remains Brian cheers KT

[Jim Brady]

ANOTHER FINE MESS!!!
Regards,
Jim.B.

[Captain Kong]

My Laurel and Hardy Day continues...............
.
I am shaved, showered, shampooed, nice Sunday clothes on, relaxing in my Office where SHE told me to stay..
THEN, SHE, comes in, the Grandchildren are coming to stay and you have to pick them up. Go and check your car tyres, you are not driving the grandchildren if the pressures are not right,. I say, They are OK
SHE, You havent checked them for a while , go now.
So for an easy life I go.
Sainsburys Garage, Air Pump out of order, go to Morrisons garage, Air pump out of order. Go to ASDA, have to put 50p in, It doesnt work, not only that it let the air out of my port side front tyre, from 30 down to 14. nearly flat.
demanded my money back , `I am only a till operator and no one until Monday.`/ so drive to another garage, no machine. I then drive to a Shell gas station. put 50p in the machine it flattens my starboard forard tyre from 30 down to 0.
I go in the office, a man from P kist an, `Your machine has flattened both my tyres, and took 50p. `
`No Problem you come back tomorrow Monday` I want my 50p back.
No problem , leave me your name and address.` `No way , give us me money now., I was in a long queue.
he gave me 50p.
I went outside, two flat tyres at the front. What am, I going to do now. pi 55 ed off
I have to change one of the tyres, so I have to empty the boot, full of all kinds junk. It is Raining hard I am wet through.
I struggled very hard to release the nuts, those windy spanners they use really tightens them up so you cant release them.
I am lying on the floor in water, soaking and struggling with the tyre nuts. and Jack.
I eventually change the wheel. I am covered in black crap. and very very wet.
I drive home slowly because I have one tyre only 14 psi instead of 30.
then I see another garage and this time it works. I filled my tyres to the required pressure and drove home,
SHE, Look at the state of you, where have you been for two and a half hours.
I poured myself a coffee with a large whisky in it. and I am back in my office again, I still have to go out when the rain stops to change my wheel and take the old one off and put the new one back on. Then another Shower and a change of clothes.
I am knackered, shaking and will be glad when this weekend comes to an end.
Have a nice day.
Brian.

[Louis the Amigo]

Hi shipmates, Hi Captain Kong, We all have bad days, as the song goes into every life some rain must fall...

[Captain Kong]

I now have the Grandchildren in bed, so hopefully I ca survive until bedtime at 11pm.
I am not going out I am sitting down quietly, with my luck the bleddy cileing will fall in on me.
Just want to get the weekend over, Happy days will come again tomorrow , hopefully.
Cheers
Brian.
You have to laugh or you would cry.

[John Gill]

Yes kong,know the feeling-school is out (again) Open the front door and there's several grandchildren on the step looking like WW11 evacuees with, it seems, far too much luggage for my liking. We love them all, but also love handing them over when the school gates open again.
gilly

[Charlie Hannah]

Fell off my chair piiisg my self laughing at this kong but surely a Lucifer day not Stan and laurel

[Des Taff Jenkins]

Hi Brian.
Gave me a good laugh as I thought I was the only one to have a bad day yesterday. The wife asked me to polish the top of the fridge as she can't reach it, she has a cactus plant in a pot sitting in a wide vase on the top of the fridge, I had not long re-potted it with new potting mix,I picked it up, slipped, the pot went over the bench where she had the dinner ready, potting mix everywhere, I'm jumping around treading it into the mat, she's yelling what did you take it down for, I'm yelling to clean the top of the fridge, she said I just wanted you to clean around it. I yell it's the last time I clean the top of the fridge, she yelled it's the last time I'll let you. Ended up in tears but they were tears of laughter we both though it very funny later.
Cheers Des