serves me right

[Colin Pook]

Whilst in Malta on the Esso Canterbury that was having extensive boiler repairs, some 'joker' suggested that if we reported sick with toothache, we would be taken ashore for treatment, and then given the rest of the day off. WOW!! Three of us reported 'sick. and were sent ashore to a dentist in Valletta.

When my turn came, I sat in the chair and opened my gob. The dentist oohed and aahed, and announced that he could save the tooth by filling it, and would use a white filling. Great, said I, go ahead.

At the end of the treatment the dentist asked me to sign a paper, which I did, without reading, and I went on my way to Kings Street?? for some liquid refreshment, (genuine Marsovin Malta wine)

5 weeks later we docked in Fawley where I was to pay off, having been on the ship for just over 6 months. I recieved my wages, then looked at my wage slip. Horror of Horrors! Esso had deducted £20 from my wages for DENTAL TREATMENT in Malta. I queried the deduction with the union man who had come aboard, and he informed me that, had I had a tooth extracted, there would have been NO CHARGE, but as I had the tooth filled, that was cosmetic and therefore chargeable

That £20 was damn near 3 weeks wages!!

That one went in my hurt book!

Colin.

[Captain Kong]

In Durban, on the GOOD HOPE CASTLE, 1959, my mate Ted had tooth ache and got the day off, he was going to spend the day on the beach, I told the Mate that I had tooth ache as well, strange? he said. `If you come back with all your teeth still in you will lose a days pay.`
I was stuck.
At the dentist I had to have one of my back teeth pulled. The Dentist thought I was mad losing a perfectly good tooth. I had to take the tooth back to show the Mate.
Good day on the beach tho`.
Cheers
Brian.

[Jim Brady]

My son was telling me a story, they were somewhere in the West Indies and three of them had a run ashore to the doctors.They were seen to together in the same room,one guy did have a problem with piles another guy was faking a sore throat.The doctor told the guy with piles to drop his pants and bend over,the doctor then proceeds to poke around the guys backside without gloves on.The doctor finished with him didn't wash his hands turned to the guy with the saw throat and started poking his fingers down his mouth.
Regards.
Jim.B.

[Louis the Amigo]

Hi shipmates,I had a bad tooth ache in Naples Italy was sent by the Captain by taxi ashore to get the probelm fixed The dentist place was in the middle of the town , it had a fountain in the front of it , Big glass doors the floors were pictures, in bits of stone very flash, very modern the young lady on the front desk could speak proper english and was very pretty . another lady in a white coat came out , she also was very pretty she could speak english told me to follow her the dentist room it was very smart all bright steel and white tiles and art work, sat in the comforable chair , and had an exam, he then took my tooth out almost painless, only a sharp tug no more pain gone, the bill ,was payed by the company and the taxi back ? I was giving a recipe had to sign a pice of paper, to take back to the ship, The Captain did not asked for it? so I kept it £178 .00 more than my wages at that time? When I paid off I took the recipe and claimed the money back.... the union made me do it !!! The Dentist was the very best in Naples !!!

[Gulliver]

I don't personally have any horror stories about sickness thankfully,so I'll tell my favourite medical joke instead!

A woman was upset because she had not had a date in quite some time.She decided she would seek the medical expertise of Dr. Kayoto, the well-known Japanese sex therapist.After stepping into his office and explaining her problem, he asked her to take off all her clothes."Ah So!" he said. "Prease get down and craw reery reery srory to odder side of room.".This the woman did."Ah so!", hesaid. "Now prease craw reery reery fass back to me".Again the woman did so.The doctor looked at her mournfu lly and said" I'm so vely solly. Your probrem vewy bad, you haf Ed Zachery Disease. So Solly!"
"Ed Zachery Disease? said the woman.What on earth's that?"
"Ah so,it's so vely vely sad. Its when your face rook Ed Zachery rike your ass.!"

Les B.Anne.gif

[John Arton]

Cannot recall if I have posted this before, if I have forgive me.
Not a story of dentistry on my gob but,
When I did a taster trip around the Continent with Blue Star in the early 60,s, I ended up in the Royal docks on the California Star which had Chinese crew.
One day the Chief Officer told me I was to take around 8 Chinese crew members to the dentist where Blue Star had booked them in for treatment.
Along with the directions to the surgery he gave me a 10 bob note.
So off I went with the Chinese trailing behind me. On arrival at the surgery the crew took over the dental work for the rest of the day. Two dentists were working flat out filling and extracting teeth.
By about 1600 there was only one guy left, a 2nd steward, who only had two teeth, one facing fwd and t'other facing aft and he wanted them straightening in oder that he could be fitted with dentures. This was too big of a job so the dentist told me to bring him back the next day.
By this time there was just me and this last crewmen left, all others had wandered off once their treatment had been completed, despite my efforts to keep them together. Not speaking Chinese and them not speaking English may have had something to do with this.
Eventually got back on board with my lone chinaman and was reporting all to the mate when the bosun dashed in brandishing a huge knife at me and saying (in broken English) that he was going to do for me as I had told the dentist not to bother fixing the 2nd steward teeth as he only had two anyway. The Mate eventually got the bosun calmed down and explained the situation to the bosun who went away and updated the 2nd steward, who came and apologised.
Next day took him back to the dentist and before the ship sailed he had been provided with a set of false knashers which he used to proudly show to me every time I passed him afterwards.
I thought the 10bob note was for me but when the mate asked me for the receipt he explained it had been to buy bus tickets for the return journey from the dentist and not as a payment for my efforts...dam
Worst dentist I ever came across was in Port de Bouc in the S. of France. Had to go for a filling there and I am sure the berstard was taking it out on zee Inglish pig for winning the war or summat similar, his dental drill was more black and decker with a 3mm twist bit than the usual dental drill and as for needles to numb pain, why?
rgds
JA

[Charlie Hannah]

I had to have a tooth out on a harrison boat down Durban thought nothing of it untill i sat in the chair had the needle and there started the most miserable 5 days i ever spent, i had to attend this dentist for 3 days the ship sailed on to Cape town were i attended the second dentice it took him two days to finnish the job. Pure misery.Allways very leery now when got to attend dentist.I have a burning dred of the b--------!

[Louis the Amigo]

Hi shipmates. I had my tooth pulled in Naples with out any needle, and very little pain, it pays to go to the best !!!!