caught short 2

[Colin Pook]

In 1960, 32 of us flew from Blackbushe to Treviso, (Italy), to join the Esso Southampton in Trieste. Upon arrival in Treviso about 2300, we were taken by coach to a all night restaurant for a slap up meal and a little something to quench the thirst. Esso were paying, and from that moment the 'vino' flowed free. Somewhere around 0030, we boarded the coach and set off for Trieste. Around an hour later the call of nature came to several of the crew, and we pursuaded the driver to stop. We got off the coach in pitch darkness, found a wide opening in the hedge and pointed 'percy' at the porcelain so to speak. Suddenly, amid the laughing and larking about, a bright light came on and the immediate area was illuminated, followed by a very irate Italian man's voice obviously remonstrating with us. Unknown to us, 32 of us were peeing in the in the driveway to his house. Being summer, I bet it stank to high heavan when the sun came up!! Well, as I said before, 'when you gotta go, you gotta go!!
Cheers,
Colin.
p.s. if Alan Peddle is reading this, I blame you for the above.....

[Gulliver]

My Dad frequently mentioned the following story in his lifetime. At the time he was a policeman in the Lancashire Constabulary based near Warrington It was then Lancashire,becoming Cheshire I think in 1974.
Anyway one foggy November in the mid-60’s a coach party of blokes from a Black Country working men’s club were homeward bound from a trip to the Blackpool Illuminations.

The famous Thelwall Viaduct on the then recently completed M6 Motorway at this point spans the Mersey,the Manchester Ship Canal and the old boundary between Lancashire and Cheshire..
A call came through to the police control room that a coach was stopped in thick fog on the Viaduct and other motorists were concerned at the amount of people wandering round. At that time Thelwall had no hard shoulders ,and especially in the thick fog and rising river mist from below, any vehicle stopping on the Viaduct was at risk of being run into.
Dad and another constable were despatched to the scene.They were greeted by a frantic coach driver and 40 odd drunken Brummies wandering about the thankfully fairly quiet motorway ,all calling out and looking for ‘Wally’.
It happened that about 0130,the driver had been forced to stop to allow a ‘desperate’ passenger to relieve himself.Of course the driver,not knowing the dangerous position of his coach obliged,and as what always happens,the other 40 odd got off to relieve themselves as well.
After peeing over what they thought were guard railings into a field,they got back into the coach.All except ‘Wally'.
‘Wally ‘had apparently wandered off just a bit further than the others(probably for privacy -as you do.!)

They found him next day. Dad had later to attend the inquest,and was a bit miffed having to attend said inquest due to the fact that ‘Wally’ had landed on the Lancashire side,and not on the Cheshire side of the boundary.

　
Poor ‘Wally’ had plunged 93 feet !……………. what a way to go.


Be careful where you stop.
GulliverLoo 3.gif

[Captain Kong]

I was on Cunard`s `PARTHIA` in Boston, now Dont do this in the States,
We tied up outside the city in a place called Maverick. Not a lot there just a couple of bars, we took a subway to Boston City centre but it was very quiet, not a bit like New York. We came back to Maverick and had a few drinks there.
Six of us were staggering back to the ship through the dock area. It was quite a way so we stopped for a relief against the wall of a cargo warehouse. The six of us were stood in a line with it all hanging out when searchlights lit us all up, and a loud haler shouted `FREEZE, DON`T MOVE OR WE SHOOT, POLICE. HANDS ON THE WALL AND SPREAD `EM`.
We froze, Kinnell, with hands on the wall all with our nudgers still hanging out. I think the whole of the Boston Police Department were there behind us.
The cops came over to us and frisked us for weapons and tuned us around, we were blinded by the search lights. `And put those away` the Cop said pointing his night stick at our nudgers. We zipped up quick.
We are Limies, we kept saying ,but didn`t make any difference.
One at a time they took us to a Patrol car, `Hands on the hood and spread `em`. Geof went first, a big black Cop towered over him, `Where ya from``, Geof said `The Isle of Wight`, the Cop hit him over the head with his club, AARRWWGGHH, said Geof, as a large lump appeared on his head. The big black Cop said `Ya trying to be funny wise guy.`. `No` said Geof, `I am from the Isle of W-I-G-H-T not W-H-I-T-E. its in England`.
They went through all our pockets and found our US Immigration Passes.
A bunch of Limies off the Parthia, eh. So we got a Police escort back to the ship to make sure we got on board. The cops who were taking us back told us they had a stake out on that Warehouse as they had a tip off that it was going to be raided and we had ruined it. They were not amused.
We sailed the following day bound for Liverpool.
Cheers
Brian