Oh dear what can the matter be

[happy daze john in oz]

No doubt most of us have ended up in an odd sitaution whilst at sea. The other day I was in an elevator that for a few moments stuck between floors, it brought back to mind an incident when working as officers steward.
Our accomodation for the six stewards was on the boat deck along with most of the officers, seniors were on the bridge deck one above. We had a service elavator that ran from the bridge deck to the store rooms on the lowest deck. We used it for laundry runs, bringing food from the galley, but the most inportant was daily at noon when at sea.

When the 8 to 12 engineers came off watch they were always in need of a beer or two, and sometimes three. Ginger and I had the job each day of going to the first class lounge bar using the service elavator.

This partciular day was no different from any other, pints for the engineers were required, about a dozen in all so Ginger and I set off for the bar. We were about one foot from the landing when the eleavator stopped. The doors opened but the inner mesh door was firmly jammed, we were stuck!


Calling out Ron Tarrant head bar in that lounge bar saw the predicament nad said, 'say where you are lads I will ring for sparkjy and the chippy'. Stay where you are, mate we are stuck!


The night before Mick my mate in the first class galley had produced a curry to die for, and porr Ginger almost did.

There we were waiting for help when I got a bout of flatulence. Not ordinary flatulence but the kind that would take paint off the walls. Poor Ginger he was almost out of it gasping for clean air. By the time help arrived he was on the floor of the elavator gasping for breath. We did get out and arrived very late with the beer much to the anoyance of the engineers, though one second did comment thta Ginger looked a bit pale.
For some reason or other Ginger would never get in the elavator with me again.

[John Pruden]

I wonder why john?? jp

[John Arton]

On one of the Empress boats, could have been the "Canada" or the "England" one of the K.P.'s got his head taken off in the stores elevator. Apparently when drunk they would play "chicken" with the elevator, sticking their head into the lift shaft as the cage was coming up tor down, to see who was bravest by leaving his head there until the last moment. One day tragedy struck when one of them left his head in the lift shaft, literally, as he did not pull back quick enough before the cage arrived and so got struck by the cage, taking his head off. I guess someone must have tampered with the interlocking devices to allow the doors to be open whilst the cage was in motion to allow this game to be played.
rgds
JA

[Peter F Chard]

This is a tragic account of a lift accident on board a ship -- the ship was the New Zealand Pacific, a 48000 GT container vessel. I was doing the annual safety equipment survey for the NZ Marine department and at the same time a visiting Fijian AB from another ship in port was visiting a friend aboard the NZP. What this man did not realize was that the floor numbering for the lift started at the freeboard deck and went up seven decks to the bridge and down six decks to the engine room. When this man left his buddy he got into the lift and pressed the button to go to the bottom thinking he would get out at the main deck but found himself in the engine room -- because this deck was below the freeboard deck the lift doors opened automatically but the landing door was part of the steel fireproof bulkhead and was a hinged steel door and had to be pushed open to exit. He thought the lift had stopped between floors and panicked, he tried the alarm bell and the phone to no avail. He then decided to climb out of the lift through the trapdoor in the cab ceiling and scramble up the lift shaft to the machinery room -- he nearly got to the top when he lost his grip and fell to the bottom of the shaft. It is debatable whether the impact of the fall killed him or the contact with the shaft rails and other sharp items in the shaft that sliced him open like a side of bacon and finished him off. But I can tell you that I have never ever seen so much human blood and guts in my life. Gruesome but true, regards Peter in NZ.

[Keith Tindell]

In my time in the Fire Service i have attended hundreds of incidents in lifts, any time there is a power failure the lift calls come in thick and fast. When we attend the first two guys go to the motor room and prepare to wind the lift up, thats right up !!! whilst the rest go to the floor above the lift and open the outer doors with the lift key. On this particular day on opening the outer doors we found the lift had stopped with about a foot of the top of the lift showing, the people inside male and female, from the local bank had been out for a drink with one of the females who was leaving her position in the bank, two of the guys in the lift were absolutely desperate for a leak, the opening was too small to pass a conventional bucket through, but luckily in the fire service our general purpose ropes are carried in canvas buckets, these were passed through, and to great cheers from the crew, the guys took a leak, and the women faced the wall looking embarrassed KT

[Peter F Chard]

Keith, In my time with the Marine Dept. I was also a boiler and pressure vessel inspector and inspector of lifts and cranes. I can recall an incident in a 16 story building in Queen Street, Auckland, the cities main street. Swiss Air had an office in this building, about level 14 from memory, and two of the staff, one male and one female, were working late one Friday night. They decided to knock off about 8pm and go and have dinner somewhere. They got into the lift and pressed the button for the ground level -- the lift took off and seconds later came to a shuddering halt. It was well and truly stuck and they were there until Monday morning when the building started to fill up with tenants. The emergency phone did not work and the alarm bell rang in the foyer of the building so no one heard it ringing and its battery ran flat after an hour or so anyway. Our boss decided to prosecute the buildings owners and gave me the job of finding out who owned the building. Weeks later I was still trying to find the answer of who owned the building -- it was just a long procession of shelf companies, building management companies, family trusts and more. Possible owners of this building were located all over the world and when I got to Lichtenstein the boss told me to forget it, its just time to give up he said. We never did found out what the toilet arrangements were for the unfortunate couple in the lift for a whole weekend !! Regards Peter in NZ

[gray_marian]

#6, Well at least they survived Peter

A few years ago hubby & I were taking the lift to our first floor apt in Palma because my left leg was in plaster due to op on left foot. At the very last minute our two daughters jumped in rather than scale the marble staircase. Big mistake, lift jammed. Me being acrophobic and asthmatic [a joy!] started to panic.
The girls whilst laughing were suddenly aware it was serious when father started to prize open the metal doors for air to comfort me. Meanwhile we heard our young German neighbours 4th floor laughing. They could hear us shouting and thought we were complaining about their noise, then realised we were stuck. None of us being particularly fluent in either language their German father appeared on scene complete with hammer!! Which he proceeded to attack the lift door! The noise was horrendous ricketshaying to us down below. After an hour or so Spanish lift engineer arrived. The one word we all agreed on was kaput Eventually lift dropped enough to ground floor whereby our trousered daughters squeezed out feet first through mangled doors [courtesy of their father], being man handled all the way. Me wearing a dress prompted hubby to go next to save my blushes. At which point Spanish Engineer drew our attention to the little red sign which we had been oblivious to us for several years stating "In an emergency hit this button". The next few weeks were rather embarrassing as our third floor neighbours were moving and had to use the stairs for furniture removal whilst awaiting rather splendid buff metallic lift doors from Italy

[Keith at Tregenna]

Lighthouse Family - Lifted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPZ6CXuiHdQ

[Keith at Tregenna]

Re: Oh dear what can the matter be

Chorus:

And it's oh, dear what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies got stuck in the lavatory
They were there from Sunday to Saturday
Nobody knew they were there

The first old lady was Jennifer Pim
she went in on a personal whim
Somehow got stuck 'tween the bowl and the rim
And nobody knew she was there

The second old lady was little Miss Humphrey
She sat down, and made herself comfy
Tried to get up, but could not get her bum free
And nobody knew she was there

The third old lady was little Miss Draper
She went inside and she couldn't find any paper
All she could find was a bricklayer's scraper
And nobody knew she was there

The fourth old lady was a Catholic lass
She went in just to try and skip mass
A thief was inside, and he pinched her...handbag
And nobody knew she was there

The fifth old lady was little Miss Bartlett
She paid her penny and straight in she darted
What a waste of a penny, 'cause she only *@rted
And nobody knew she was there

The sixth old lady was little Miss Murray
She went in, in a heck of a hurry
When she got there, it was too late to worry
And nobody knew she was there

The last old lady was little Miss Mason
The toilets were full, so she peed in the basin
And that was the water that I washed my face in
'Cause I didn't know she'd been there

- - - Updated - - -

Seven Old Ladies Locked in a Lavatory:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQx1OcIlFqE

- - - Updated - - -

Foster & Allen - Seven Old Ladies:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csRFt_N9jRw

[gray_marian]

#7, Ooop's 'acrophobic' should have read claustrophobic........