One Hell Of A Pub Crawl!

[Captain Kong]

Hi Vernon , when we rescued the French Foreign Legion from the beach in the old French Indo China, now Viet Nam , they did indeed carry many barrels of Vin Rouge, even tho`500 were left for dead there.
I guess they got their priorities right.
All the way back to Algiers and Marseilles they were on the plonk. Walking down an alleyway an arm would come out of a recess and drag us in with a tin of it thrust into the hand.
Exciting days
Cheers
Brian

[Keith at Tregenna]

SMOKY JOE`S

Now the British Merchant seaman - he works so hard at sea ,
In times of rest he likes a drink -well that’s okay with me,
I remember one occasion down at Smoky Joe’s
It’s on the Bluff at Durban as many a sailor knows.

Like the staithes at Dunston, there’s miles of railroad track
Beyond a coaling station, stood a collier’s drinking shack
A wood shebeen with oil drums on a bed of cindered coke,
We savoured native brandy - it was known as old ‘cape smoke’

I know we had a good day, as we drank and swung the lamp
Alas our poor old Bos’un - he flaked out like a tramp,
My mate and I took charge of him, now he’d spent his bucks
By one leg each we tugged him home, beneath the railroad trucks

The Bos`un now was sixty eight but still as hard as nails
He never did complain as his head banged on the rails
We did our best to get him back - I suppose we were his keepers,
-He was mainly horizontal as he bumped along the sleepers

Our next days work was heavy, after boozing at the bar
Lifting down the hatch boards and coating them with tar
The temperature was ninety, but the `Buffer` pressed his men
(He went to sea in sailing ships at the age of ten)

He toiled as hard as anyone and earned our great respect,
For all the contact with his skull - he showed no ill effect
Ignoring cuts and bruises and without a hint of pain
Evening came - he had a shave then went ashore again.

We went and tapped the steward and drew another sub,
Once more we climbed the timbers to Smoky Joes rough pub
This time we hauled the old man back-as careful as we could,
We dragged him by his arms - so his feet bounced on the wood!

Joe Earl.

[joseph connor]

Brian , you mention Djakarta , Semarang , Bali , and many others of course , good , and bad memories in all , in one bar in Surabya I think ,the whole deck crew having a good laugh when a teenager put a knife to one of the lads back and demanded money , we all sat therefor a few seconds , stunned , when out of the kitchen appeared this big women and gave the lad the biggest smack round the ear and dragged him yelling , away , then we just carried on having a laugh , I don't think the incident was even mentioned .
Looking back on all those far off places when you were anchored out ,remember all those fab deserted , palm fringed beaches , wonder what they are like now ? we were round that coast for seven weeks and on heading for home we had to make for Singapore , never a bad thing, till we heard that the AJAX had some kind of breakdown , we had to go and load the cargo she had for ports back in Indonesia , moans all round lol , loved Singapore , if I hear one song of the day it takes me back there , Roger Millers from a jack to a king ,what songs remind you all of a certain place ?.

[Keith at Tregenna]

A man was sitting in the bar when he noticed another patron a few stools away. The guy had a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger, but his head was the size of a grapefruit.

The first man said "Excuse me for staring, but I cant help but be curious as to why your body is so well developed, but your head is so small?"

The man said "buy me a drink and I'll tell you." The drink was ordered and the story began.

I was in the navy and my ship was sunk by a torpedo. I was the only survivor and I managed to swim to a deserted island a few miles away. I had been there for several months and was walking on the beach one day looking for food and when I looked up I saw a beautiful mermaid sunning on a nearby rock.

She swam over to me and told me that she was a magical mermaid and could grant me three wishes.

That's great I said. I'd like to be rescued. She slapped the water with her tail and a ship appeared, sailing straight for my island.

Next I asked for a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Another slap of the tail and I was built like a Stallion.

Then, noticing how beautiful she was and only one wish left, I asked if I could make love to her. She said no it just wouldn't work her being half fish and all, so I said, "well, how about a little head then?"

[Dennis McGuckin]

Hi Joe,
Was in the west indies when rock & roll was the new rage.
So just about all of the songs of the 50ies take me back there.
If only!

[j.sabourn]

#35 How low could you get the bar Denis when doing the limbo. Would have to be head high these days. Cheers JS

[happy daze john in oz]

Durban, was there about six times before ever getting into the town. To go ashorte we had to go through the customs which was in the atrium of the Criterion Hotel. Run by a Scottish guy who liked smoked fish. Take a box of kippers to him and you could drink all day. Many of the lads never got past the pub spending most of the day propping up the bar.

Joe #33 Bali now is not what it was. The popular spots where the Aussies go is not the place to be. Any morning you will find dozens of them flat out in the gutter over refreshed.

But there are some great places there which we have been to, great place for a holiday.

[j.sabourn]

Know a lot of people who go up to Bali 3 or 4 times a year. At least one of them goes to a dentist there half the price. Also buys all his clothes there including suits. From Perth is the cheapest holiday around even than going anywhere in Australia. I have never really fancied though, have seen most of the world at various times and like the home fires, if today want to go to any part of the world is now within most peoples reach. These big passenger boats remind me of cattle boats or at the very least a Butlins Holiday camp, and anyhow have the excuse the wife always gets seasick and she doesn't want to go. My wandering days are well over and don't want to see how the other half lives, especially courtesy of the travel bureaus, who only show you what wont put you off your food. Now they have just bigger screens to keep these views from you. I could never go to India remembering the filth and poverty and the many thousands sleeping on the streets at night, the beggars brought up from childhood with arms and legs missing which had been removed for the sake of appealing to the public. They I am sure are still there but obviously kept away from the tourist trade. The UK and others give them money and now they are flying to the moon and other fancy projects. Have a bigger armed forces than the UK are a Nuclear power in their own right, once again the idiots with all their Cambridge and Oxford Degrees in Economy have shown they are not even up to mental arithmetic. Cheers JS

[Dennis McGuckin]

#36. John, Would only give it a try if topped up with Appleton Estate.
Even then was not good at it.
If tried today, would snap in half.

[Brian Charles Williams]

Joe Beefs certainly left scars for life that`s for sure.....they also did a great `spaghetti bollock naked !` All the best Brian W.