The designers and naval architects that carry out ship design , to my knowledge , which was pre 1990 , have to a man no practical experience .

A Royal Navy Design team back in the 1980s were looking at the use of Crossley Pielstick engines for what was to be the latest generation of RN Submarines ( Diesel - Electric Propulsion ) we took them to sea one night on the MV Earl Granville for a last look before the pencil on the paper became steel in the dockyard . They took a lot of measurements of the engine height , the spare cylinder head , and the spare pistons . The head designer did a lot of nodding of his highly educated head , when I asked what the height keel to deck was of the new subs , when he told me , I asked how they were going to get the pistons out . Well you manage , he said , I mean mere Merchant Navy engineers , so it must be easy , so I walked him to the car deck in Cherbourg , and showed him a line of countersunk bloody big screws , he asked what that was for , so I showed the hatch covers to the engine room space that we took out with a fork lift to get to the engine heads in port if we had to get a piston out . When I asked him if they were putting access doors on the Submarine Engine rooms he shook his head , that job was five years down the line , What a .....,.. , well you fill in the gap

Second clever one that comes to mind was on the Earl Godwin , Sealink having filled the ships with booze cruise merchants for a £1 crossing employed a marine entertainments company to find out how to exploit the cash out of the punters , bear in mind these guys bought enough sandwiches with themselves from home to avoid using the facilities , except for cheap booze , additional one armed bandits , roulette , blackjack , all great , but a pool room with pool tables , on a cross channel ferry , not so clever