Dead set

[happy daze john in oz]

According to a spokesman on the radio today here in Oz we are getting short of burial space. Cremations use too much gas and are effecting the environment!
So the proposal is that we all be burried in the feotal position in a paper mache pod. This will decompose faster so creating less environmental stress. He then went on to say that maybe people should be burried at sea as they do from cruise ships.
That is when I phoned the radio station and asked who the idiot was?
To the best of my knowlege all ships now capable of carrying passengers, be they cruise or cargo, must have provision for storing deceased, most cruise ships can accomodate six.
Under international maratime laws it is now illegal to dump anything over the side. Suitably processed foods are exempt. Though judging by some of the oil slicks I have seen in recent times I somehow think may do not comply.
The idiot then made my blood boil when he went on to say Nelson was brought back to UK in a barrel of Brandy to preserve his body. Bloody fool, it was RUM that is why it is known as Nelson's Blood.
Where do these plonkers get their information from?

[Les Woodard]

I do not know why they do not just use a post hole digger and pop us in standing upright then put a tree on top of us. Gets rid of the body and helps with the environment at the same time not to mention we could carry on working after death by feeding the tree. Where do I sign up for my doctorate. Better start charging for these bits of knowledge has I not.

Got another good one.

Why not give anyone flying a knock out drop and then slip them into a tube for the flight. Could fit more into the plane. No need for cabin crew and only would need someone to give us a wake up shot when we arrived. Not to mention no having jet lag at the other end.

[robpage]

The idiot then made my blood boil when he went on to say Nelson was brought back to UK in a barrel of Brandy to preserve his body. Bloody fool, it was RUM that is why it is known as Nelson's Blood.
Where do these plonkers get their information from?

According to the trip around HMS Victory and the Naval Museum here in Portsmouth , they will tell you that Nelson was preserved in a mixture of Brandy and camphor , and the barrel lashed to teh Minmast , taken 1st to Gbralter , where it was transferred to a lead lined coffin . I always thought rum , but when you consider they were off Spain/Portugal/Gibraltar Brandy makes sense

[Captain Kong]

I did a trip on QE2 a few years ago and they buried six passengers on the way to the Cape, Jimmy Saville was there with me at 6 am on the after deck. He loved those Burials, He is now in a 45` angle facing the sea. The cruise ships today have mortuarys for stowing bodies. A lot of the American Passengers go on the cruise ships like a world cruise when they know they are going to snuff it, and if they die they want the burial at sea job, it is a hell of a lot cheaper than a Funeral back home.
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I was on the EGYPTIAN one of Papayannis, in 1953, We had a barrel on the tween deck in Number 4 , One of the lads tapped it and found it was alcohol, and mixed with the BOT Lime Juice was not bad. . When we got to Leith, the Mate came down and enquired as to who had been tapping the barrel, we all denied it, must have been the Dockers in Famagusta. `Well I `ll find out whos done it, ` he says,` the contents of the barrel is a dead China man who is on his way back home to China. `
All hands were nearly sick.
He had been preserved in the alcohol and was being shipped to UK for trans shipment to Shanghai , his ancestral home.
They didnt fly in those days to China hence the preservation.
Brian

[Chris Allman]

AH that must be where the phrase " full bodied " comes from when referring to an alcoholic drink

[Captain Kong]

BURIALS AT SEA. UK..
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The BURIAL OF HUMAN REMAINS AT SEA, and licensing Marine licensing Licensable activities and exemptions Fees and charges Process Apply for a marine licence Harbour orders Public register How we work Supporting legislation ORELG Performance metrics
Burial at sea
The burial of human remains at sea requires a marine licence.

We recognise that burial at sea is a long established tradition in the UK, particularly for those who have been associated with the sea. However, we do not encourage burial at sea because tides and currents pose a significant risk of the body being returned to shore or being caught up in fishing gear. Such events naturally cause considerable distress to relatives and all concerned. To avoid that risk, we recommend the scattering of cremation ashes at sea in place of burial where possible.

There are three burial at sea sites around the English coast:

off the Needles, Isle of Wight
off Tynemouth, North Tyneside
between Hastings and Newhaven on the south coast.
Before a marine licence for burial at sea can be issued, certain documents must be presented to us for inspection. These include:

the death certificate
a Certificate of Freedom from Fever and Infection (available from the deceased’s general practitioner or hospital doctor)
a notice of intention to remove a body out of England (available from the Coroner in exchange for a Certificate of Disposal provided by the Registrar).
In some circumstances we may need to inspect the body and coffin.

Please note that embalmed bodies may not be buried at sea. This is because embalming substantially delays decomposition of body tissues which increases the likelihood of the body being returned to shore by tidal currents or of the body being caught by fishing gear.

Further information
Marine licensing guidance 6: Burials at sea (PDF 192 KB)
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Australia...........
Burial at sea
In Australia burials at sea are regulated under the Sea Dumping Act, which is administered by the Department of Sustainability, Environment, Water, Population and Communities. Therefore, people seeking to arrange a burial at sea will require a sea dumping permit. A permit is required only for sea burial of bodies. No permit is required to scatter ashes.

There is no automatic right to a burial at sea. Permits are generally only granted to those with a demonstrated connection to the sea, such as long serving navy personnel or fishermen. It is suggested that those wishing to be buried at sea make their wishes, and the reasons for these wishes, known in a will or to a family member. This will allow the appropriate person to request a burial at sea and to provide sufficient justification for such a burial.

Arranging a burial at sea
The most difficult task in arranging a burial at sea is locating an appropriate burial site. The site must not conflict with other marine users (e.g. trawling, shipping) and must be at a depth greater than 3000m. Due to these constraints, the burial site may be located a long distance offshore. Consequently, there may be considerable logistical difficulties in arranging the burial. It is recommended that the person organising the burial at sea talk to local charter operators, who may be able to assist with logistics of the burial and provide advice on an appropriate site. Please note that the vessel carrying out the burial at sea must be a certificated commercial vessel and must be equipped with a GPS or similar to ensure that the burial takes place at the designated location.

Burials at sea should be organised by a funeral home. This will ensure that preparation for burial is in accordance with the Ship Captain's Medical Guide and that the body is properly handled. The body must not be embalmed and should be sewn into a shroud (not placed in a casket or other such container). The shroud needs to be made of a very strong material and weighted sufficiently to ensure rapid sinking and permanent submersion of the body.
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.I have a two copies of the Ship Captains Medical Guide it is all explained in there.
Brian

[Gulliver]

BURIALS AT SEA. UK..l ... likelihood of the body being returned to shore by tidal currents or of the body being caught by fishing gear.

.I have two copies of the Ship Captains Medical Guide it is all explained in there.
Brian

Yes,our fish eat all kinds of detritus don’t they?. And prawns etc are notorious bottom feeders.
Anyone for Fish and chips -Yum!
fishing (2).gifYum Yum!.gif


Two copies of the SCMG ,Brian? Bet you couldn't get enough thrills looking at the Spotted Dick pages !

[John Pruden]

Gulliver never eat crabs you don't know were they have beenjp

[Peter Trodden]

Last year I attended the Funeral Mass of an old mate, Joe Sudlow AB, Mate-Skipper,(Westminster Dredges) A pause during the service His son stood up and gave a brief history of his Dads working life from Peggy, to Master on supply Boats in the Gulf. He read out his Dads final instructions for scattering his ashes. "Take my ashes on the Mersey Ferry and half way,in mid-river,scatter them,BUT, be shore the tide is on the Ebb,"when they ask why? Joe said, because if you scatter me on the Flood tide I will spend eternity on the Mud Flats between Runcorn and Widnes,and I wouldnt wish that on anyone. R.I.P Joe, I hope you made it passed the Crosby Bouy. Peter.T. J

[John Pruden]

peter mine is going between the Mersey bar and the isle of man i am to be mixed with cement into a block and over the side that will do me. any bastard that didn't like me can dance on my grave:JP