Ain’t life great.

[j.sabourn]

After being married for many years ,I took a careful look at my wife one day and said,” when we were first married , we had
a cheap house , a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV but I had a hot 23 year old girl.
Now I have a $500,0000 home , a $45000 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV , and now I have a very mature woman.
It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.”
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23 year old girl and she would make sure that I once
again be living in a cheap house , driving a junk car , sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a10 inch black and white TV.
Aren’t older women great ? They really know how to solve an old guy’s problems.
JS.

[happy daze john in oz]

The Bicycle: "A teaching moment"

A Priest was about to finish his ten-year tour of duty and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives about the Bible and Christian values, in their own language, when he realizes that the one thing he never really taught them was how to speak English.

He reasons that the most efficient way to encourage the tribe to learn would be to give a crash course to the smartest man in the village and to leave an English Bible with him. So he takes the chief, whom he had befriended, for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."
The chief looks at the tree and grunts, Tree."
The Priest is pleased with the response.
They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."
The chief looks and grunts, "Rock."
The Priest was getting quite enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the scrub bushes, they see a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity. The Priest is really embarrassed and flustered. Not knowing what else to do he quickly says, "Man riding a bike."
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them both right in front of the Priest.
The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe the virtues of Christianity, the Ten Commandments, the Golden Rule, and how to be civilized and kind to each other. So how on God’s green Earth could he kill these people in cold blood that way?
And the chief replies, "My bike."
Enjoy your day and remember to keep off the main roads when riding somebody else's bicycle !