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22nd August 2021, 04:28 AM
#1
Church Repairs
One Sunday at mass, the priest tells the congregation that the Church needs some urgent repairs, and aske the congregation to give a little more generously when the collection plate comes around.
"Whoever gives the most will be able to pick out three hymns next Sunday." After Mass the priest glances down and notices that someone has place ten $100 bills on the plate. The next Sunday he said he would personally like to thank the person who placed all that money on the plate.. A very quiet elderly lady shyly raises her hand. The priest asks her tp come to the front. Bessie Braddock" the priest says, " Your generosity is wonderful, and now to thank you, I would like you to pick out three hymns."
Bessie's eyes brighten as she looks out over the congregation, before pointing to the three most handsome men in in the building and says,
"I'll take him, him, and him.
R510868
Lest We Forget
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happy daze john in oz,
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24th August 2021, 03:36 AM
#2
Re: Church Repairs
Now that is an unforgettable Post War name, Bessie Braddock ! Wow, certainly brings back memories of social government change !
Good joke too.
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24th August 2021, 03:39 AM
#3
Re: Church Repairs
Hi Keith.
Yes everyone knew about big Bessie, these days I doubt if many know their local MP.
Des
R510868
Lest We Forget
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24th August 2021, 03:50 AM
#4
Re: Church Repairs
After her death in 1970 her Guardian obituarist hailed her as
"one of the most distinctive political personalities of the century"
K.
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24th August 2021, 04:04 AM
#5
Re: Church Repairs
#3 One I do remember from the 1960s Des was Dame Irene Ward of Tynemouth. I had an altercation at the High Commissioners Office in Port of Spain , Trinidad, about the issue of a passport. Won’t go into it again as already a post on it. I wrote immediately to her complaining about the service of the refusal of the clerk to hand it over. On the completion of my contract and return to the UK found out she had made a big issue of it in Parliament , and was a letter and passport waiting for me. With apologies from 12 Downing Street , with the excuse the clerk thought I was one of the Great Train Robbers still being sought all over the world at the time. She was a proper politician no matter what party she belonged to . Cheers JS.
Last edited by j.sabourn; 24th August 2021 at 04:06 AM.
R575129
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24th August 2021, 06:26 AM
#6
Re: Church Repairs
Well John she may have been looking here in Melbourne at that time.
A Mr. Briggs I think the name he of the great train robbery, got a job here as a chippy and worked for some time with a company building Motels, one not far from us.
He then decided the grass was greener elsewhere and took off to South America.
There is currently a series here in our ABC about Christine Keeler, very interesting stuff.
Recall some of it as it happened.
Profumo was minister for war or something similar at the time.
My dad was in partnership with a Pig farmer, some no longer required Army land was up for sale and he won the bid.
But with all that was going on the transfer of title was put to one side.
When he did eventually get the title he also received a letter of apology from the gov of the day for the delay.


Happy daze John in Oz.
Life is too short to blend in.
John Strange R737787
World Traveller

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24th August 2021, 06:34 AM
#7
Re: Church Repairs
Was Dame Irene Ward related to Bessie Braddock
in anyway ?
Just wondered.
K.
.
Last edited by Keith at Tregenna; 24th August 2021 at 06:35 AM.
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24th August 2021, 06:47 AM
#8
Re: Church Repairs
Paddy and Mick were in church and the congregation got up to pray.
Mick noticed that the lady in front had part of her skirt caught between the cheeks of her backside.
Being a gentleman he reached over and pulled it out.
She turned round and gave him a slap in the mouth.
The following Sunday Mick is at church with Jimmy and the same lady is in front of them.
As they again raise to pray the skirt is again caught.
Jimmy also being a gentleman reaches over to pull it out but Mick stops him and says,
'Leave it she likes it tucked in'.


Happy daze John in Oz.
Life is too short to blend in.
John Strange R737787
World Traveller

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25th August 2021, 12:58 AM
#9
Re: Church Repairs
Des: Met up with a few local MN Veterans in Cardiff earlier,
one chap told the below one, thought it might tickle you.
A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers
passed around the offering plates. When they came near his
pew, the boy said loudly, “Don’t pay for me, Daddy, I’m under five.”
Keith.
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25th August 2021, 01:35 AM
#10
Re: Church Repairs
Keith.
Licked my lips many a time when the plate came past, but my dad was aware of what I was like and always lifted the plate so that I couldn't reach it.
Des
R510868
Lest We Forget
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