Medical madness

[happy daze john in oz]

So I arrived at the hospital 12 noon as required and made my way to the Cardio Lab.

There I was met by a staff member who had to do the 'paper work' first. Where would they be without that?

Then into the pre procedure ward where I was greeted by a drop dead gorgeous nurse who told me to take all my clothes off, put this gown on and lie on the bed.
I felt my blood pressure rising, how good is this?
Then she told me I would be shaved on the fore arm and groin, my blood pressure was going even higher now.

Then she came in with the electric razor, Bessie Bulldog, who told me, 'I do all the shaving'.
My blood pressure dropped through the floor.

She then told me a needle would be placed in my arm for 'other' purposes. If she puts it in like she shaves I am in trouble.
But no, another nurse, about the size of a dwarf did that.
Then I was wired up, all ready for the off I though, but no, not yet.

Would you like the TV on while you wait, I was asked.
Great, but the channel they put on, I could not change it, was one all about food and I had not been allowed to eat since 0600 hours that morning.

Then to my surprise an Australian nurse came to see me telling me it was time.
Up to this point I had only seen Indian, Sri Lankan, Indonesian and Philipino ones.

So off we go to the Cardio Lab for the Angiogram.
The doctor to do this was from India, but very nice, as were all the crew in there, about six.
Then she appeared again, Bessie Bulldog, she had the job of strapping my arms to the boards on the side of the gurney I was lying on.
Laid out in a similar manner to those who get the 'Green Dream' in USA prisons.
As she strapped me down it crossed my mind she could have got a job strapping them into the electric chair.

Then it began, the needle in the arm for the dye to go in.
On the screen you can see it all happening and it looks like the underground going through the tunnels.

Apparently, Whoo, Whoo, chuff, chuff, chuff, chuff is not the term they use.

While this is going on there is a bloody flying saucer over your head going all over the place, taking X rays I was told. Fine, but it goes where it likes and does not mind if on occasions it attempts to give you a knock out blow to the head.

Then the good news, No blockages, so no Stent"
Thank good ness for that.

Back to the recovery room where they gave me food and drink, phoned her in doors and said come and collect.

They had asked me in the beginning why I was there?? I would have thought if they read the doctors notes they would know.
The doctor then informed me that many who come for this do not have a blockage, stress tests are not always correct but the specialist has to follow up on the information given out by the machine.

So at 1630 hours I was let go.

The needle in the left arm had been used to put a sedative into me prior to the Angiogram.
It did little then, but by 1900 hours I was out of it and slept the sleep of the just until 0730 next morning.

No after effects, just a small spot on my right wrist where the needle went in, no bruise and no bleeding.

So now, if the doctor id right I am fit for another day, not sure just yet which one though.

[Keith Tindell]

All good news John, so its now all system go, and back to a good life, kt

[Chris Allman]

Great result John - you can now have a great Christmas and New Year - very pleased for you and your family.

[happy daze john in oz]

Thanks for your kind words lads.

Couple of things I forgot about the Angiogram.

Just before they put the needle in you arm they was the wrist with some red dye style disinfectant which on the wrist feels like ice.
Then the same stuff on your groin and you think your balls are on fire.
At the end of kit, just before they pull the wire out, and you can sense it coming down the artery, they tell you that you will now get a hot flush.
Hot flush, fantastic feeling as if your body is having a giant orgasm.
Cannot understand why the ladies complain about hot flushes.

[Rodney Mills]

Good Lord!

I always thought "pyelogram: was a fast message from the doctor telling someone that their hemorrhoids had to come out. Thanks for clearing that up for me Victoria.

Cheers, Rodney