Valentines Day....

[gray_marian]

"I've often heard the doctors warn
The dangers of a kiss
But I've often considered it
The nearest thing to bliss
But since I took biology
I sit and sigh and moan
10 Million mad bacteria
And I thought we were alone"

[Keith at Tregenna]

"Postie,Postie,ring the bell
if Margaret's maw answers run like hell!!!!!!!!!"

THOSE WERE THE DAYS ?

Show me yours i'll show you mine

younger humans getting/giving a personal show of their 'treasures'...something to make the most liberal parent 'squirm'

Think I was eight.

[gray_marian]

"Love is blind and
Marriage is an eyeopener"

[Keith at Tregenna]

Rose are red
Violets are blue
Meet me at Specsavers
For a right seeing to

[Keith at Tregenna]

....here tomorrow, what was your funniest or cheekiest line said to a sweetheart?

A little boy walks into his parents' room
Then wears a quizzical frown
When he see his Mom on top of his Dad
Bouncing up and down.


The mother quickly dismounts,
Worried about what her son saw
She dresses quickly and goes to find him.
Standing outside the door


He asks, 'What were you doing to Dad just then?'
She replies, 'Well, you know Dad is fat
He has a big tummy so sometimes
I get on top and make it flat.'


'Well, you’re just wasting your time, Mom,'
She is told by her bright young pup
Cos when you go out, the lady next door
Gets on her knees and blows it back up.'

[gray_marian]

"As fair thou art my bonnie lass, sae deep in love am I

And I will love thee still my dear, till aw the seas gang dry." RB

[Keith at Tregenna]

Roses are green,
Violets are green,
The news is green.
Guys, I think my TV's broken.

[Keith at Tregenna]

Rose are red
Violets are blue
Meet me at Specsavers
For a right seeing to

Roses are red
Carnations are white
Ive been to the chemist
how about it tonight!

[gray_marian]

Why is marriage like a Three-Ring Circus ?

Well, first there's the Engagement Ring: then there's the Wedding Ring: and then comes the 'Suffer'-ing !

[Keith at Tregenna]

Q: Who sends a thousand cards on Valentines Day signed "Guess who?"

A: A divorce lawyer -