dementureand alzhiemers

[cappy]

i am off to see my young brother in a care home......he is in a bad way ewith alzhiemers ......he can only just swallow hardly and has lost the use of his arms legs and thought.....he has never cried we didnt cry in our family .....but he between waking up and going of ses to me take me home and tears come to his eyes .......it is a hard time.....for all of us...they are taking his house to pay for care ......he never pissed it up why should he have to pay....i find it hard to go and see this former bright strong brother now in a bad way incontinent and incapable of anything.......but as i say to my kids and grandkids ...such is life regards cappy

[Braid Anderson]

Tragic Cappy, my heart goes out to you. I've cared for a couple of friends with similar, but probably less serious than your brother, and it can be very tiring. Advice may not be welcome, but firstly never presume your brother can't think any more - there may be more in there than you think, trying to get out. Talk to him as if there is nothing wrong, and remind him of some of the good times you've had together. Above all, let him know you still care, and try not to be depressed when you're with him. I know it's bloddy hard to smile when you want to cry, but you can only do your best. Good wishes to you.

[Brenda Shackleton]

Excellent advice, Braid.
I've been down this road - twice- and it's very hard but there were blessings,too.
Regards
Brenda

[gray_marian]

When visiting my mother in law who was in a similar condition Cappy, used to play 40's/50's & 60's tunes on the cd player. It held her attention when books, tv and radio had long since left her understanding and thought process. I just kept talking to her with gentle reminders of happier times, perhaps showing him photographs would bring some comfort too. The visits are so important and all really now you can do for him.

[John Pruden]

cappy mate words cannot describe what life can throw at some I seen it in the stroke wards some as young as their 20s as said talk as if he is fit and well it will not only give comfort to him but you too stay strong mate.. jp

[Louis the fly]

There is nothing anyone can do or say to make this mental torture any easier for you or your brother Cappy.
This is why this terrible condition is so tragic. My sympathies to your family.

[happy daze john in oz]

Some terrible things out there. Saturday lost a very good mate to Parkinson's, one week short of 71, not MN but an ocean yacht racer. Then today heard of two I know suffering strokes,one whislt in hospital.

[John Pruden]

john the only way I can describe a stroke is someone else climbs in your body and starts pulling the leavers ? and regards acting normal to patients I was fed up sitting next to barb and visitors ask how is he as if I was invisible ... jp

[cappy]

###ocean racing one hard sport something i fancied but you need to be really fit for that ......sailed a bit but never raced apart from scarboro ...with a one legged captain at the tiller ...round the buoys and back .....went a few times with this guy ...he never failed to get you properly wet and usually very cold off scarboro .....40 years ago now...whoops have i veered off course......cappy

[John Pruden]

cappy what is it about you and one legged people mate?? jp