Is this you?

[happy daze john in oz]

5.37! That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me."Only$4.68"he said cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind!

"Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"

I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing.

That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus: The child seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.

Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was,"What is the world coming to?"

All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"? At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle,and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake"

I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words:"It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40 mph zone. Yessss, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey.

The good news was that I had successfully found my way home.

Pass this on to the other "old fogies" on your list (so they can have fun laughing, too).

Notice the largertype? That's for those of us who have trouble reading.>>

P. S. Save the earth..... It's the only planet with chocolate!!!!!>>
Oops, did I send this to you already?>>

> >
>>

> >
> >
> >

[alf corbyn]

tried to use my mobile (which I hate) in sunlight, no go went in the shade still couldn't see the screen, had to ask a mate. went to virgin to buy a new one. the bloke looked at it five seconds screen now like a searchlight. stupid things. why can't they put sockets all over the place and I can then use my landline

[Louis the Amigo]

Hi shipmates, We are not fossils , How would they cope with what we had? we had skill, and team work and steam power. Could they live without modern tecknology? what would they do if it all crashed !!!! Many jobs depend 100% on it factories, shops, and many others could not function without it.

[Don Rafferty]

Fred,

When I ask my youngest daughter sws, [she who sighs]

.............like that how descriptive.

Does that mean that you are SWMBO - She Who Must Be Obeyed?............probably not.

[Lou Barron]

The younger generation should be thankful for the style of living they have now and i say good on them but if it was not for us guys that they can enjoy the good in in life they have now

[gray_marian]

Don,
I find G & T works best!! [Give and take]....Marian

[happy daze john in oz]

Don,
I find G & T works best!! [Give and take]....Marian

It all depends on what is being given and who is recieving!

[Ivan Cloherty]

Don,
I find G & T works best!! [Give and take]....Marian

Apparently it was also a favourite pastime on the Lavender Ladies!

[gray_marian]

John in oz, You are making me blush!! and it's not my sangria.

Ivan, I have no idea who the Lavender Ladies were, though can hazard a guess,
as to what they were about, pray do tell....

[Doc Vernon]

The Lavender Ladies were the Gay's on the Union Castle Liners,some of which were very pleasant ,and never offended any of the other Crew Members!
They were at most times very good workers,put on many good shows for the Crew and had many private parties in their quaters on board!
At times could really dress up in their various regalia,and some were hard to distinguish between Male and Females!
As said most loved their G&T ,a favourite drink at that time for the Ladies !
I myself thankfully never once had any troubles with anyone of them!
They mostly just kept to themselves,although of course as life has it there was always one or two that tried it on.
They were to me a pleasure to work with!
Cheers
Doc