Your N.H.S. Experiences

[Charlie Hannah]

a few months ago I had an xray and was told I had the lungs of a young man?? so whatever it is its only recently that its showed up having pneumonia over Christmas and a bad do with it so I don't know nothing really till the radiologist has looked through it and maybe a biopsy I am concerned but I have fought every inch of the way in the past few years so this to me is round two never give up me?? jp

John i just recently,had an xray and took it back to the doctor, over here you are given the x ray in your hand to take to your doctor he has the result already on computer.Any way he told me they had found two small spots on the lungs,but not to worry and see him in two weeks.at the end of waiting time i saw him again he informed me all was clear i had recently had a slight chest infection which had cleared up and all was back to normal.Hopefully you get same result.Good Luck.

[Rodney Mills]

I'm not a N.H.S. recipient, neither, to the best of my knowledge have I anything medically serious lurking. I'm just posting a story about MY "snip" for some fun. I swear all of what I'm saying is true...it really happened the way I 'm telling it.

My best mate who lives in Oregon was from Woolwich, London. Back in 1967 we both lived and worked at the same hotel in California.

I had two sons and my former wife was almost nine months carrying an Oops! Three children was enough for me. My buddy had three daughters, and he quickly had a vasectomy procedure performed shortly after his wife gave birth to twin girls. He told me it was easy, "a walk in the park", so he gave me the name of his doctor and I arranged for the procedure for about a week after the due date. My former wife gave birth to a healthy, beautiful boy, and I told her I was going to get fixed...No problem.

Roughly a month later I boldly entered the doctors surgery, my buddy was doing the driving, as he had told me I might feel a minor discomfort after the op. and he was waiting out front in the reception area. I undressed and laid down on the table and I watched as the doctor picked up a scalpel, and to me what looked like a crocheting needle, you know, it had a little hook on the end of it. So he say's to me, "left side first".

It's uncomfortable, a little cut, then I can feel him feeling around with the hook, then a couple of minutes later, he said something like "Half way there."

He moves to the other side and make a small incision, and that's where the troubles began. He's feeling around with the damn hook and it's hurting like hell. For about ten minutes he's grouping around inside me and It feels like he's pulling on everything in there and trying to turn you-know-what inside-out. "I can't find the other tube," he tells me.

Then he hooked on to something and I guess he is pulling whatever it was towards the incision, and my right leg BENT and RAISED, "Don't cut that," I yelled, assuming he's pulling on a ligament connected to my leg. He laughed, and let go of what ever he had hold of and my leg fell back on the table. At the same time I'm hurting worse than the worst kick I'd received down there in my life.

He said " There's three possibilities: One. I see you've had a hernia operation and the Vas was cut during the procedure; two. You were born with just one tube; three, its hidden. In any case you can bring in a sample after six ejaculations and my hypothesized reasons numbered one or two will be as obvious as a dead horse on city hall steps. If it's number three, I can have another go with you in hospital and anesthetized. Make an appointment when you are ready with your seventh sample."

I hobbled out of the office with my mate helping me, and the last thing going through my head was seven ejaculations. Who the heck wanted em!

Hallelujah! It was either items one or two....Who cares... I'm firing blanks!

I've mentioned this story a few times with friends, yarning after a few drinks, and I've made the claim that a vasectomy was one of the most painful event of my life and it's got to be worse than giving birth. Of course this causes an uproar from female friends who haven't heard the story before. I say "How many children do you have?" They reply, two; six, whatever, and I answer "I've only had one snip-job and no way on-earth would I have a second one, so that proves it!"

Cheers, Rodney

(Anticipating incoming from Lady Marion and ducking.)

[Jim Brady]

Just come back from the Liverpool Royal hostpital 7 doctors looking after the 2 clinics I was in 2 Brits out of the 7 where would we be without foreign doctors.I think the doctor who seen to me was Eastern European.
Regards.
Jim.B.

[happy daze john in oz]

My nephew in London saw a specialist last year for a growth in his throat. The specialist said there was nothing there. Six months later he has to have a cyst removed from his throat, the one the specialist said was not there. He managed to get a meeting with the hospital to ask why he had been treated this way only to be told the specialist no longer worked at the hospital and when leaving he asked what he could do next and was handed a copy of the conversation he had jus had. At on time did they ell him his conversation with hem was being recorded. Is this normal practice?

[Captain Kong]

Hi John
Phone calls are recorded but never heard of face to face conversation being recorded, Must ask my lad about it,
Cheers
Brian

[John Arton]

re Rodney's #72
I had the snip after our 2nd child was born {doing my best to get the average family size down from 2.4 children}.
I think I must have gone private in order to jump the queue with being at sea at the time. Anyway for some reason my local G.P. sent me to a vasectomy clinic somewhere up near Bedlington in Northumbria. I had been told that it was a simple and painless operation and that I would be able to drive myself home immediately afterwards.
On going into the clinics room where the procedure was to be performed and stripping off and lying on the operating table, the doc. performing the operation asked me if I wanted him to position a mirror so that I could see the procedure being carried out myself. Watching a doc. accompanied by his female nurse doing damage to my manhood was certainly not high on my bucket list of things to do before you're 40 so it was a definite NO.
The procedure went ahead with the doc. reciting the procedure to me, "I'm just making a cut into your sack now", I'm just cutting the first VAS now", etc. etc. It was when he said he was cauterising the Vas that I looked down and saw smoke rising from my nether regions that I panicked, "Bloody hell" , I thought, "the buggers set fire to my pubic hair"!!! He assured me everything was in order and it was common for smoke to appear when cauterising. I couple minutes and a couple of stiches later that was it. Off the table, got dressed, had a nice cup of coffee and biscuits in the waiting room whilst the doc. did his paperwork and that was it, I was on the way home feeling no worse for wear beyond a sight tenderness in the nether regions, which changed to agony when upon arrival home and sitting down, youngest daughter leapt into my lap to greet me home and her knee went right into the spot where the doc. had been working upon some 30 minutes or so previously. OUCH!!!!
Worst thing was and most embarrassing was having to take samples of sperm into the G.P.'s for testing and hearing the receptionist telling me out loud with the waiting room full of people earwigging, " we will get this sample off straight away and let you know if the operation was a success, sir".
rgds
JA
p.s. Brian you may be able to answer this, why is it that whenever you have an minor op. to remove a cyst or have the snip, the doc. always asks you if you want to watch and upon completion they ask you if you want to see the cyst or whatever it was they took out of you. Do they think we all have a compulsion to watch our bodies being sliced and diced and bits removed or are they just checking that they have done the right procedure?

[Captain Kong]

Hi John
I have watched minor ops on myself, always interested in what they are doing and if they are doing it correctly to my lay mans eyes.
On Internal ops I always ask for a DVD of the operation, All operations are recorded so I still want to know what they have done when tampering with my body while I am out of it.
Then I show my son who is a Consultant and get a second opinion.
Cheers
Brian

[gray_marian]

#72, My Dear Rodney, As you may be aware I have an earthy sense of humour, albeit ever so slightly warped The thought of your right leg performing a fandango caused much mirth So I shall let you down gently and remind you that the female of the species is way more stoic on matters down below. I shall of course dine out on your solo performance. Much love, Marian

[gray_marian]

One NHS memory I can repeat pertaining to childbirth Rodney, was on entering "The Royal Maternity Hospital" in Glasgow [An old Victorian Teaching Hospital, long gone] to have my first born. Having to park, hubby dropped me off as near possible to the vestibule where a chap was sitting ready to take my particulars. He observed that I was struggling to stay upright through his interior window and offered to escort me to the ward. Thankful of his kindness as it was only the white tiled wall for support I waited, then aware of his arm upon my lower back, turned to speak, thought where is he.... only to feel a wee bald head ensconced under my left arm, he must have been all of four feet. As we hobbled along the corridor, hubby says we were a sight to behold.

[Captain Kong]

I have found the Reciept for my Birth in the Council owned Maternity hospital. It cost £3, in 1935, nearly two weeks wages.
Cheers
Brian.