The new army

[Braid Anderson]

Tony Rose's photo.
Tony Rose
August 20, 2014 ·
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards.

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every ten seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' Were bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some ***hole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.....

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.... We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however..... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push-ups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too..... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave or to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those terrorists..... The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million hacked off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50.... in menopause! You think MEN have attitudes? Ohhhhhhhh my goodness!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

Send this to all of your senior friends in big type so they can read it.

[j.sabourn]

A lot of truth there Braid, also a lot of us old one aren't afeared of dying either so we too can wear vests made with nitro-glyserine, and whistle come and chop some part off and when close enough blow the basket and yourself up. See how he likes it. Cheers JS

[cappy]

A lot of truth there Braid, also a lot of us old one aren't afeared of dying either so we too can wear vests made with nitro-glyserine, and whistle come and chop some part off and when close enough blow the basket and yourself up. See how he likes it. Cheers JS

####you speak for yourself mr sabourn ..........lol cappy

[Keith Moody]

why not put every female / male who comes into the country do 2years of military service. i am sure they would soon turn around and look for somewhere else to live, those that stayed would be the ones that were the terrorist and wanted the training.they could then be shipped back from whence they came.
i am sure it would stop a big influx.
did you see our poor prime minister trying to keep up with the big boys at the G20 meetings, to get to prime minister he said he would bring home all the canadians in syria and not put any more out there, then he goes and brings back all the aircraft and leaves the ground forces out there, not only that but we will send out more staff to train the locals, now which do you think is safer........ the troops on the ground or the aircraft/pilots? isis does not according to all information have rockets to bring down these flights. please, i apoligse for Trudeau and his cabinet.
and feel a little ashamed when everyone else is stepping up for the fight, our Country is pulling back.
keith moody
R635978

[j.sabourn]

Shades of Mr. Chamberlain, and a few more after the war Keith, every country gets them, we all know that they are there for a limited time only as they well know as well, its just how much damage they can do in that time. Cheers JS

[j.sabourn]

#3... Cappy are you saying you don't want to go to paradise and sample the delights of. Sure on your short journey there you can de-testiclize your travelling companion, or tell him his last blood test was positive and he isn't allowed to sample any of the delights. Don't know what happens if the he is a she though, will just have to take pot luck. Cheers John S

[Captain Kong]

A female suicide bomber blew herself up in Paris yesterday. the only sad thing about it was she killed the sniffer dog, I wonder how she goes on in paradise, will she get 72 virgin men or 72 virgin girls. ?
or will she get some aging fat bearded fella to jump on her.
Brian

[gray_marian]

#1, How about recruiting Women over 50, seriously I would, I'm bit gung ho, no good with blood and gore though, so perhaps not

[cappy]

see the crap blown up in paris is identified as the master mind .........................they should feed the bits left of him to the pigs and his bitch as well .......signed the northern powerhouse.....regards cappy

[Captain Kong]

That is the only deterrent for a terrorist, he cannot go to paradise if he has been in the *hit. If you can stop them going to paradise that will end suicide bombing.
Being Fed to pigs or buried in pig manure. The only way
but some stupid PC or Corbyn would object.

Brian