In case you didnt know

[Jack Jenkins]

After filing their personal tax returns by April 5th, many Britons will again receive a tax refund. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it in a Q & A format:


Q. What is a tax refund payment?

A. It’s money that the government will send to taxpayers.


Q.. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.


Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen of it.


Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.


Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the economy by spending your tax refund wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Asda, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .


* If you spend it on fuel, your money will go to the Arabs.


* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .



* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala .



* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea ..




* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .



* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.


Instead, keep the money in Britain by:


1) Spending it at car boot sales, or

2) Going to football games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.


(These are the only “truly” British businesses still operating)



Conclusion:

Go to a football game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a car boot sale and drink beer all day!


No need to thank me, I'm just glad to be of help.

[Keith at Tregenna]

Brilliant:

K.