The Untouchable

[Capt Bill Davies]

This is a classic I have heard many times, mainly at after dinner speeches at Nautical gatherings. If every person who has told this one was actually on the ship at the time there would have been 100 ABs on the ship.

I actually knew the ABs mentioned but have just used the first letter of the surname. However, I can only relay the story as I left in 61. The ex BF membership will remember the individuals I am sure.

Here goes!


THE UNTOUCHABLES

During the seamen’s strike of 1966 there was very little coastal movement around the UK. Blue Funnel obtained permission from the National Union of Seaman to allow their vessel ‘Diomed’ to depart Gladstone Dock, Liverpool and deliver a cargo of Palm Oil and Latex to KG5 Shieldhall, Glasgow.

Blue Funnel crewing department in Odyssey Works, Birkenhead were in a dilemma as three of their oldest ABs, known within the company as ‘The Untouchables’ were to be assigned to this same ship. Historically, each would be assigned a different ship in order that they could take the ‘night watchman’s job’ in port. Commencing with the oldest these ‘Untouchables’ were, ‘Aussie B’ a 78 year old from Toxteth, ‘Freddy G’ a 74 year old from the Wirral and ‘Tug W’ a 70 year old also from the Wirral. It must be said these men were physically very able.

It was decided that the ‘night watchman’s duty’ would be shared equally between the three with the two on ‘day work’ doing the usual hold cleaning.

Inevitably, when you get a group of ‘old timers’ together they are always trying to better each other with their previous experienve, the eldest usually taking pride of place.

One evening in the sailors mess just after dinner the crowd were relaxing and waiting for the Bosuns voice to signal ‘job and finish’ which entailed bagging the days work and removing it from the lower hold where the crowd had been working. The scene was set, the sailors all rolling their ‘Capstan Fine Cut’ and drinking tea.

Freddy, the middle ‘Untouchable’ started to tell his story.
I remember back in 1907 when I was Deck Boy in one of Welsh Thieves and Colonial Liars Barques (William Thomas & Co Ltd). We were towed out of the Salthouse Dock and after clearing the bar were ‘beating’ around the Irish Sea for several days looking for a Southing. A good passage was made down to the vicinity of Cape Verde when we became ‘becalmed’. After a few days a dark cloud was noticed on the horizon stretching from ‘four points on the port bow to four points on the Stbd bow’. After a few hours the cloud descended on the ship and it was noticed that it was in fact a cloud of locusts who promptly set about devouring our sails with amazing relish and within an hour the ‘full suit of canvas was gone’ along with the locust. The sailmaker then had to ‘break out’ a new suit which we all had to ‘bend on’.
The sailors were much impressed with this yarn.

‘Aussie B’ , the eldest, who had been listening quietly puffing on his pipe spoke up.
I seemed to remember something like that he said with the usual ‘twinkle’ in his eye.
I remember back in 1907 when I was a young AB in one of the Black Ballers. We followed you out a few days later. We too were towed out of the Salthouse to the bar and after picking up a good Southing made good passage down to about a days North of Cape Verde when we too became becalmed. I’ll never forget that morning. From ‘four points on the port bow to four points on the Stbd bow’ there was a white cloud. After a few hours the white cloud got closer and I’ll never forget that sight. Millions and millions of locust all wearing canvas suits.

[John Pruden]

as a young lad bill some of the old ABs could sit with you telling stories you would hang on every word{until the punch line} i still tell the grand kids yarns and do the same to them.john

[Neil Morton]

As a 16 year old pantry boy on the old Barranca in '55 I would sit enthralled by the yarns told by our Lamprimmer.He was an elderly Polish gent, and whilst we sat on the aft bits he would get his curly pipe going like the Brighton Belle and talk of wartime convoys, icy seas, and "the Hun". Aftewards I'd lay in my bunk and conjure up yarns that would put Biggles to shame; ah the innocence of youth.

[Capt Bill Davies]

The characters mentioned above will have passed away years ago but no doubt still remembered by the old timers in that company.

Bill

[Tony Wilding]

theres an old saying, Many a true word spoken in jest, ! i daresay lots of the old yarns got stretched as time went by, from the tales i hear about Blue Flue they must have had some characters aboard, an exclusive club.meant in the nicest possible way.

[Capt Bill Davies]

theres an old saying, Many a true word spoken in jest, ! i daresay lots of the old yarns got stretched as time went by, from the tales i hear about Blue Flue they must have had some characters aboard, an exclusive club.meant in the nicest possible way.

Well Tony, characters there were , and plenty of them but what I have highlighted in your last post is more relevant. Most of the Blue Funnel sailors had never been anywhere else, they were 'cradle to grave' China boat men and these days we would describe them as 'not being able to see outside of the box'. True, they were excellent seamen but when you join a ship knowing what locker this item is in and what draw the other item is in it is easy to see how things become second nature. There was never a learning curve. The Bosuns had far more power and respect than elsewhere. Further, Odyssey works, the deck school in Birkenhead produced Deck Boys who walked aboard the ships knowing what it was all about and after the initial trips "around the land" (BF speak for coasting) they joined their first Deep Sea ship well ahead of their contemporaries elsewhere.
I say this only as being an observer as I was ex Aberdovey and went to sea before the Odyssey Deck School started in 1958. They served me well 55 through 60.

[Capt Bill Davies]

I heard this one when up for Masters in Liverpool 1967

Around the mid/late 60s Blue Funnel started recruiting men from the pool on a regular basis. There was one man who joined as DHU (a rating I personally never experienced) whose experience was from trawlers.

Unfortunately, this man could not read or write and soon after joining befriended a midshipman to help him in this area.

At every port throughout the voyage he would recite a letter to the midshipman the night before arriving.
Unfortunately, it was one way traffic and there was no letters arriving from home.

Port Said homeward bound (5 to the rock and 4 to the dock), the mans luck changed and he received the long awaited letter which he promptly presented to the midshipman.

The midshipman on preparing himself to read the contents of the letter was stopped by the man who advised that ‘the contents were private’ and ‘would he mind putting his fingers in his ears’.


Brgds

Bill

[robpage]

I had the misfortune to be on a King Line ship where one of the firemen had learning difficulties , worked like a donkey , would do anything you asked , obliging happy go lucky hard worker , married to a lady of similar circumstances , and unfortunatly had a daughter with severe learning difficulties and proifound deafness . We anchored somewhere off Southend waiting for a tide and a gang for Commercial Docks . There was a mail delivery including mail to him and the almost indecipherable scrawl was supposed to have said the love of his life and child was abandoning him for his best mate and he had no home to go back to . I asked to see the letter , which was describing quite graphiically what was going to be a very delightful welcome home , he was not sure , so I got the second mate to read it to him as well . The assistant bosun thought it was a bit of a laugh to wind poor old Lenny up . When they paid off the next day the assisitant Bosun had two black eyes and a well marked face , a few of the ABs had not shared the joke and thought a reminder to be helpful not an ass**le was in order .

[Capt Bill Davies]

I understand my post, No 7 above, did have an unhappy ending some years later when the same man suffered a catastrophic accident whilst 'blackening down' the fore topmast stay. He rode the stay on the 'shackle pin' resulting in him 'arcing in' towards the foremast breaking every vertebrae in his back. Extremely sad and I was personally horrified that it could happen on a china boat.

Bill

[robpage]

I know that we often critisize the Elf and safety brigade , but with over 20 years ashore , where the Factory Inspector is all to often at hand we had a lot closer inspection of our working methods than we ever had at sea . When you take an unsafe environment add the ability to move several degrees in all directions , add oil , water , and some very hefty machinery , we did some silly things at sea , ignoring the basic sensibility of the safe methods . I think of Spanish Windlass with a huge spanner as the turnbuckle , one slip and you are dead . Knotted polypropylene rope as a lifting sling knotted by the fireman , not a trained rope man like the AB , , Shackles with a nut and bolt instead of the correct pin because you lost the pin , High voltage electrics with sea water . I for one think that we were graced to make it back home sometimes . Maybe the Safety Elf is not such a bad fairy after all !!!,