Aussie in London

[Dennis McGuckin]

An Australian tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of Guinness.



After a while, he finds himself in a very high class neighbourhood.....big, stately residences... no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all...NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.



He really, really has to go, after all those Guinness'. He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.



As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London Bobby, who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."



"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the Australian, "but I really, really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public restroom."



"Ah, yes," said the bobby..."Just follow me". He leads him to a back "delivery alley", then along a wall to a gate, which he opens. "In there," points the bobby. "Whiz away sir, anywhere you want."



The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculpted hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom. Since he has the cop's blessing, he unburdens himself and is greatly relieved.



As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby, "That was really decent of you... is that what you call 'English Hospitality'?"



"No, sir" replies the bobby, "that is what we call the French Embassy."

[Graham Payne]

I do like that one Dennis.
Thanks mate.

[Keith Tindell]

Right up my street, as the saying goes, and i bet Kong does as well !!!!, kt

[Doc Vernon]

A good one , yes i agree but why oh why is there so much hatred against the French, after all they are just like anyone else. We all have our faults!
When in France i had never been more Politely treated , much more so than many other places.
Possibly its the love of the Country that shows in me ! Always will love and admire them! Vive La France!!

[j.sabourn]

Not hatred Vernon ? Just mock rivalry ? The same as soccer. Any hatred is there by people who are born hating things. If you want to see more anti feeling between French and English go to Montreal and Quebec and this is still from the Wolfe an McLere period, Excuse spelling as know not right but just can’t remember at the moment. JS .

[Des Taff Jenkins]

Hi John.
Your right mate, the Welsh have had to to take all those quips for years, but they see the difference and the funny side, like I'm going overseas for a holiday, where too. Wales. It all goes with the territory, at least among the working people.
Des

[Doc Vernon]

I do know that there is a lot of just soft quipping amongst many Rivals , but there are those who do Hate ! It has been shown !
But still as said i am all for the French People , as i am for the good old Aussie and the Brits! Plus lots of others, i do admit having my dislikes too, but Hate is never amongst my feelings!
All in a bit of jest here though i know , so no harm , i was just saying!

[j.sabourn]

I like the fact of the joke about the Englishman the Scotsman the Welshmen and the Irishman who dies. The punchline is where Scotsman is shown up as being tight. When in fact I always thought a Yorkshireman would take that pride of place. Take Cappy for instance he recognised that was the place for him to save some money. Cheers JS

[cappy]

I like the fact of the joke about the Englishman the Scotsman the Welshmen and the Irishman who dies. The punchline is where Scotsman is shown up as being tight. When in fact I always thought a Yorkshireman would take that pride of place. Take Cappy for instance he recognised that was the place for him to save some money. Cheers JS

3 shillings and ninepence

[cappy]

A good one , yes i agree but why oh why is there so much hatred against the French, after all they are just like anyone else. We all have our faults!
When in France i had never been more Politely treated , much more so than many other places.
Possibly its the love of the Country that shows in me ! Always will love and admire them! Vive La France!!

recall on my ist deep sea trip seeing a vessel quite close in the midddle of the pacific .......i did nt know what the flag she carried was ...an old salor said .....she is a frog ....red white and blue .......blue to the mast ,,,,stand fast ....till the last englishman...which took a while for a youngn to understand.....cappy