Riding a bike

[Dennis McGuckin]

INJUN BIKE



A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives to be civilized and kind to each other when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.



So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."

The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."



The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."

Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."



The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.

The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, "Man riding a bike."



The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them both..



The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way?



The chief replied, "My bike."

==============================

Reading is bad for you



I read somewhere that smoking is bad for your health, so I quit smoking.



I also read somewhere that drinking was bad for your health, so I quit drinking.



And then I read that too much sex can be bad for your health too, so I quit......reading!

==============================

[Lewis McColl]

At the Cheltenham jumps racing festival last March, Murphy leaned over and whispered to his fiend Seamus, 'Now would you be wanting the winner of the next race?' 'Oh, no thanks, Murphy,' uttered Seamus, 'I've only got a small garden.'

[Des Taff Jenkins]

From The N.S.W Vindi news letter.
Scotland
In the beginning, the God Almighty sitting on his throne on high turned to his mate the Angel Gabriel and said, "Gabby today I'm going to create Scotland. I will make it a country of dark beautiful mountains,The land shall be lush and fertile, with purple glens and rich flowing rivers, and i will fill them with salmon
The land will be lush and they will grow barley to brew into an amber nectar which will be much sought after the world over. Under the land I shall lay rich seams of coal, and in waters around I will put an abundance of fish and beneath the seabed there will be vast deposits of oil and gas.
"Excuse me Sire," interrupted the Archangel Gabriel, " Don't you think that you are being a bit too generous to these Scots."
"Hell no," replied the Lord, "Wait till you see the bloody neighbours I'm giving them."