Lexophile

[gray_marian]

"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for
Words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or
"to write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see
Who can come up with the best lexphillies is held every year.
This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.


. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

. The batteries were given out free of charge.

. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

. A will is a dead giveaway.

. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

. When you've seen one shopping Center you've seen a mall.

. Police were called to a day care Center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

. Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

. When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.


And the cream of the wretched crop:

Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.

[j.sabourn]

Marian, we had a PM of Australia not so long back who was a Lexophile, used to go out of his way to bamboozle his audiences with long and unknown words to the people. He recently with much fanfare went off to Russia and the Crimea to put his long winded words to what he thinks is probably needed in the present situation in the Ukraine and the Crimea. To date have seen nothing in the world media about his movements, maybe he is with a bit of luck enjoying the hospitality in one of the Russian rest camps in Siberia. Cheers John S.

[happy daze john in oz]

John whilst the loquatious verbosity of Rudd was both usless and futile I am sure he will unfortunately return to Oz, but maybe the Royal Commission into the Pink Batts affair will get him!

[Keith at Tregenna]

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbour came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.

A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?” To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL.”