Virtual Ship

[Geoff Anderson]

Hi John & Mike.
Never got back to heaven, only as far as the local cemetary. And yes i do worship the ground she's under. She left us with nothing ,not even the price of a pint to send her off with. The bank owns everything, and they recon that if what she has donsnt pay the loan off. they will come to us for the balance. Well have i got news for them and none of its nice.$#@##@#@.I might even give them the bill for the funeral as well.
Its not cheap these days. So i hope that any of you old buggers with one foot in the grave make the nessasary arrangements and pay for it before you poop off.
If your hungry i think ive got some left over sandwiches around here some where, they 're curled up on the edges, just like the old BR ones you used to buy on the stations.
Im off to the fog locker to drund my sorrows as i found some 96 bells & some peach wine . hic
Happy Easter to you all
taffy 1eye

[Les Woodard]

Well Taffy I have this theory about funeral costs. As you got lumbered with the cost of the funeral then it is only fitting that someone else should get lumbered with yours. We do not want to stop the cycle do we otherwise we would be had up for the bloody lot and we would not be able to enjoy the last one that way.

[Geoff Anderson]

Well Taffy I have this theory about funeral costs. As you got lumbered with the cost of the funeral then it is only fitting that someone else should get lumbered with yours. We do not want to stop the cycle do we otherwise we would be had up for the bloody lot and we would not be able to enjoy the last one that way.

Hi LES.
I thank you for your very kind offer to pay for my funeral. LOL.
TAffy 1eye

[Les Woodard]

No worries mate I will put the check in the box with you so that you are sure I have paid it.

[Geoff Anderson]

Thanks Les, just make sure its not one of those rubber bouncy ones,as theres not much room in there and i dont want one of those things bouncing all over the place. Never know where it might bouce to, plus it might scare some people if it starts banging against the lid. Ho on second thoughts maybe i could do a deal with the undertaker, might get some commission/discount.If somebody goes toes up when the hear the knocking
Geoff

[Les Woodard]

I will make sure that it is crossed non negotiable and made out to your good self. Will not bounce as I will wrap around one of Den's two week old tab nabs. I also noticed that you are after a pussy so no one will know what that knocking is from if you also have a pussy in there with you. All you need is someone to donate a bottle of steam and you will be on your way with a grin that Mr Sheen will not be able to wipe of. Well of to the bridge to see if anyone has any idea where we are heading.

[Geoff Anderson]

AWWW JIM.

Wheres your spirit of adventure??. The one that sent you to sea as a lad, to see the world, to taste to smell aye and drink new drinks. Plus a few nice girls thrown in for good measure.
Come and join us on our ship of dreams and nightmares. Where your imagination can run rampant. You can swear at the cook, even the old man and his side kick Les b Anne, and they cant even log you for it. So have a think on it. we might even let you drive the engines. And if you dont want to use the pump you dont have to,( not even the Portuguese type).
So come on JIM are you a doer or a watcher.
Taffy 1eye
PS this goes for anybody else out there. We sign on at 1200 . just make your mark.

[Michael Lawrence]

Jim, As Taffy said 'Come and join us'. You can take leave whenever you like. Question the parentage of the cook. Call Vernon the C/Stwd a tight 'git' (he's not really, just a nice bloke always willing to help) You've the Welsh Taffia on the foredeck with their cauldron on something or other. Dazy John has Bar duties( always the plum job) and talking about plums hows that plum brandy coming along John? Back to you Jim, we've Den and Terry in the galley and Gulliver with a brand new AA map and world atlas doing the navvy bit with the aid of Les B Anne. George is on look out, mainly for anything in bellbottoms and of feminine origin. Alf is doing his one eyed trick on the wheel so we tend to go in circles that get bigger, and some day we'll all get to where we want to. AND to top it all, and this will surely convince you, I'M the galley boy.
So join us Jim and you'll never say, 'If only'. Right you blokes the W.R. has said we've to store 'ship'. So hopefully it will be 'schooner rations' as we're due to move to a smaller vessel soonest.
Keep safe you old Buggers. Mike

[Doc Vernon]

Well Jim me man,
I see that you are a passing stranger to this here Ship!
Now watch your step me man as i have a few eyes out for stray landlubbers,and this weary Ship and Crew are looking for replacements so as they can go ashore and have some fun!
So i am now sending out me eyes and hands to catch someone like you and believe me matie its not going to be a bed of Roses when i catch up with ya! haha!
Look at who's calling me a tight git! Now theres one that is in for a rude shock too! LOL
This is a tight as you can get Ship matie and the rashions are now going to be even stricter!
Oh Lord not another Mutiny! Stone the Crows!!
Here we go again,i had better get down to the Bilge,seems thats the only place i am safe,well for now anyway!
John HELP! have you still got that Vaseline so i can fit through the tiny hole !!
Quick John they are coming !! hahahahah!!!
Just join in Jim me Lad and have good laugh!
Sorry that i was away from the Ship so long,but have been busy helping others! Wont say who or what! haha!

Cheers me old maties one and all!
A smaller Ship than this?? No way how in heck will i be able to manage,its too samll allready! Come on Michael,lets get a bigger one and do a World Cruise!
Cheers

[happy daze john in oz]

Vernon mate the vaseline has gone, someone thought it was white marmite, just like white chocolate. If they put it on the tab nabs thay would have slid down a treat. Could have washed them down with some plum wine, but then I think the tab nabs would be enough, plum wine as well would mean the heads being full for a week.