Steering Mistake.

[Graham Shaw]

Master Bates to young OS on the wheel "How's your head,?"
Seaman Staines "Chuffin awful,Sir,I had hell of a session ashore last night!"

Examiner to Lifeboat Ticket Candidate "Do you know how to box the compass,laddie?"
Reply "Show me a carton big enough,mister,and I'll squeeze the bastard into it somehow "

[j.sabourn]

Reminds me of something like beautician to client How’s your face for wrinkles. ? Answer … How’s your bum for pimples ? JS
Remember the proper words now ! Person to person…How’s your Belly for wrinkles ? How’s your bum for pimples ? JS

[James Curry]

During my time I have done a spot of yacht racing sailing and cruising , my wife also crewed with me. I have no problem saying she was a better helm than me especially when it can to light winds, only time we won a race was with her at the helm.
Anyway she spent a bit of time on a small coaster with me many years ago. I conned her by saying she had to earn her keep so she would join me in the engineroom and keep the place spotless , great with the Brasso and the place looked like a new pin.
We would go on the bridge and join the mate or skipper for a chat and a coffee. She was asking the skipper were the wheel was . It was just a tiller, but on auto pilot. What happens if you take it off auto pilot/ well you have to hand steer, like when we go into port or the like. I'm good on the helm she says , he knew we did a lot of sailing. Can I have a go sometime. Sure he says , hang on we had a wandering lead and you could take it out onto the bridge. So he takes it off auto and ssays just steer that course just gently with the helm if she is moving off course. Look ahead and then check your still on course. we went out on the bridge and she was doing well. Richard said let's see what she does and he started playing with the wandering lead we wandered off course and he stopped playing around, fair enough no panic and she brought her back on course, he altered course again and stopped , she got her back on course again , but she was getting annoyed I could tell. He did the same thing again, she looked at us and slammed the bridge door shut. Panic as the lead no longer functioned and there we are heading for the Lizard. That was the end of the fun and games , back on Auto called the skipper a plonker or words to that effect. Took me a while to repair the lead. Bit of a daft thing to do but at 10 knots and coasting in an area at that time not a lot of traffic. But he did give her a steering ticket of sorts. Fun times.

[Phil Hughes]

Chris Gundry
R730309
This post reminds me of my steering mistake,I was on the MV Thakery in the north sea heading for Middlesborough, I was sixteen and only been on the wheel once before
On the Bridge I took over from and AB who mumbled something about the course and was gone, I wasnt sure which compass we were using as the Giro was open onone side of the wheel and the Steering compass was also open ,So i decided it must the course on the compass ,It was a rough and dark night and I had a job to keep the course,The Skipper and the first mate were both on the bridge and looking forward into the weather,a few minutes in and the skipper turned to me asked what course I was steering
I told him what I thought was the correct course and he came over to the wheel and slamed the cover over the compass and said you should be steering by the giro ,we are heading straight for the Goodwin sands. I altered course and continued my watch we no further problem, When we paid of in Middlsborough the Skipper signed my steering certificate. Which I thought was prety good as I had only done two tricks on the wheel.

A case of Oooops! I think Chris. Phil Hughes.

[Michael Foster]

Don't make a mistake.........
This was at a time when the East German's had taken over the Suez Canal from the British... I would have to check the dates against history but think I was an EDH on Shaw Savill's "Cretic". I had been through the Suez before so had a good idea re steering through the Canal. It was evening and I'm sure it will be remembered that a Search-Liight with a split beam is mounted on the bow. The beams reflect off the buoys on either side of the channel. If the Pilot sees the you are slowly correcting the heading so that the beams reflect evenly off the buoys, they leave you alone. The Suez is not straight so there are a few bends. So! Don't make a mistake as there were two German Military with Automatic weapons, one either side me. MF R 683820

[j.sabourn]

#15 I assumed during probably the same period that the pilots I had contact with were Russian.however you are probably correct as I was not as astute in my younger days and believed what most told me. Cheers JS

[Johnny Kieran]

That's a bit of a reminder "15" I remember those Mig's flying up and down the canal, used to frighten the life out of me. They used to fly just over mast height, so fast you didn't hear them coming until they were gone with a huge, deafening roar. They looked odd if you did see them coming, that big gaping hole, flying straight at you and not a whisper of sound.

[Tony Taylor]

That's a bit of a reminder "15" I remember those Mig's flying up and down the canal, used to frighten the life out of me. They used to fly just over mast height, so fast you didn't hear them coming until they were gone with a huge, deafening roar. They looked odd if you did see them coming, that big gaping hole, flying straight at you and not a whisper of sound.

Had the same when working in the Gulf in 85 during the Iran/Iraq war, very frightening. I have also had it several times round the uk with a Nimrod flying up the wake checking to see if we were discharging oil over the side.

[James Curry]

Hit by the Iranians twice, once coming out and the second time going in. Master was killed and 2 crew. I will not go into it but we should not have been were we were at that time of day.