By registering with our site you will have full instant access to:
268,000 posts on every subject imaginable contributed by 1000's of members worldwide.
25000 photos and videos mainly relating to the British Merchant Navy.
Members experienced in research to help you find out about friends and relatives who served.
The camaraderie of 1000's of ex Merchant Seamen who use the site for recreation & nostalgia.
Here we are all equal whether ex Deck Boy or Commodore of the Fleet.
A wealth of experience and expertise from all departments spanning 70+ years.
It is simple to register and membership is absolutely free.
N.B. If you are going to be requesting help from one of the forums with finding historical details of a relative
please include as much information as possible to help members assist you. We certainly need full names,
date and place of birth / death where possible plus any other details you have such as discharge book numbers etc.
Please post all questions onto the appropriate forum
-
20th April 2023, 05:36 PM
#1
Smile...
What did the Siamese twins from Glasgow call their autobiography?
Oor Wullie.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.
One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.
The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
Amazing! You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes!
Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I just forget to eat."
Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.
I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a full day, and repeat
this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at
least 5 pounds."
When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60
POUNDS!
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
The Irishman nodded... "I'll tell you though I t'aut I was going to drop dead on dat 3rd day."
"From hunger, you mean?"
"No, from the foccing skippin", the Irishman said
-
Post Thanks / Like
vic mcclymont,
Keith Tindell,
Trevor Bodiam,
Ivan Cloherty,
happy daze john in oz,
cappy,
Graham Payne,
Johnny Kieran,
Des Taff Jenkins,
Tony Martin,
Doc Vernon,
John Arton,
Rodney Mills liked this post
-
21st April 2023, 11:40 AM
#2
Re: Smile...
What did the Siamese twins from Glasgow call their autobiography?
Oor Wullie.
How many will get that gem I wonder ?.
-
Post Thanks / Like
-
21st April 2023, 09:41 PM
#3
Re: Smile...
Me thick as , had to look at it a couple of times before the penny dropped lol.
-
Post Thanks / Like
-
22nd April 2023, 12:49 AM
#4
Re: Smile...
Marion.
There's none as thick as two old people. My wife was complaining about the light, she said, " This bloody cloud is a nuisance, I had to put the light on in the kitchen to cook dinner." The penny dropped when we watched on the evening news all those people in WA looking at the full Eclipse of the sun.
Des
R510868
Lest We Forget
-
Post Thanks / Like
-
11th July 2023, 03:36 PM
#5
Re: Smile...
Last edited by Marian Gray; 11th July 2023 at 03:45 PM.
-
Post Thanks / Like
Tags for this Thread
Posting Permissions
- You may not post new threads
- You may not post replies
- You may not post attachments
- You may not edit your posts
-
Forum Rules