Do your bit

[Louis the fly]

Following the climate emergency meeting in Glasgow I am doing my bit to save the planet.
I have pledged to phase out farting by 2030.
Will you all join me in this great endeavour? Sign up now.

[j.sabourn]

Louis I can remember donkey years ago on one ship we had a special club on board for such. The object of the exercise was to see who could produce the longest plume of flame when a bare light was applied to the exhaust . There were some very close cases of the flame being enlarged and going the wrong way. You had to be slightly intoxicated to get involved . We called it the FA club and it wasn’t the football association , although the second word was correct. This was for amusement before Walport films appeared and all the seafarers library books had been read . Cheers JS.

[Louis the fly]

Remember this pastime well John, it was known as the dance of the flaming a...holes. The dance usually took place after a case of Tenents lager.

[John Gill]

Following the climate emergency meeting in Glasgow I am doing my bit to save the planet.
I have pledged to phase out farting by 2030.
Will you all join me in this great endeavour? Sign up now.

Perhaps by 2030 my anal sphincter muscles may be somewhat weakened.

[j.sabourn]

#4 And to make matters worse John, they seem to have done away with the corks out of wine bottles . JS

[happy daze john in oz]

I do at times suffer from extreme flatulance.
Not just ordinary but rather pungent stuff.

Working as officers steward there was a service elevator from the boat deck to main galley.
In there one day with ginger the other steward and one escaped.
Poor guy thought he was being gassed, refused to ever get in the elevator with me again.

Speaking with my GP I asked him how long it takes for a body to fully decompose.
It all depends on how and where the body is buried, can take up to 25 years all the time leeching Methane.
But with cremation the decomposition time is less.

[Keith Tindell]

John, i had the problem myself, and some years ago, before mobile phones, i had sailed to the channel islands, and after tying up i went ashore to the old red phone box, and called my wife to let her know all is well, and yep, i guffed in the booth, i think it started to strip the paint in there, but turning round to leave the booth, there was a gorgeous looking young lady waiting to go in, jesus, i legged it out of there as fast as i could, kt