Hi! I've made a free android app for you guys

went to whitley bay got caught by an old friend of brians offered me money for his address .........she kidnapped me and used me begging me to tell her were he lived........i was worn out .......it was breakfast lunch an d dinner twice in between each course ......but i never gave in ........iwas chained to the bed..........she was unsatiable............i told her he had changed his name to sabourn and gone to timbuctoo.....she has signed on a coalburner as a fireman......complete with long johns....including trapdoor....and sweatrag......notice to all mariners .......dont go to whitley bay ....or timbuctoo.......brian has something to answer to for this lot......cappy now down to 5 stone

That was Big Joan, ex Tyne Police Matron, thanks for diverting her. I will send a case of Sol for you.
Hope she catches up with John S.
Cheers
Brian

Is it the SS Woodbine , tell her to get the skipper to get clearance for Fleetwood. Thats where the culprit hangs out when in hiding from his neighbours. He has taking to carrying a large axe around with him, his excuse is its to cut his toenails. She will probably be aware of his long toenails as beleive he used to scratch her hairy back with same. Is she still looking for maintainance for her brood. If she doesnt get Brian will have to have a go for Rolf. Cheers JS

a case of sol ....i say a case of sol......after what i went through to save your skin ....a case of sol.....at least 10 cases so i can get my wieght back .......but mind you were right about her ....i wonder if some shipbuilder on tyneside got the idea of a supertankers......after seeing her buck necked ......when she advanced in the bedroom .......i could only think of a sperm whale in mating mode......but being a true geordie i stood my ground till enveloped in the folds of blubber..... and harpooned to the best of my ability .......it was like throwing a ping pong ball up the tyne tunnel.......ah the things we do for shipmates

Poor Duncan, all he was trying to do was help, sorry lad, but this is what happens when you finally come ashore, pickled brains (possibly!!)

Dry ships now , he will probably never understand alcohol induced brain damage

What has Free Android Apps got to do with the Big Tyne Police Matron, Big Joan.
[ tho` she did save my life when I collapsed through over indulgence of thingy.]
Or should I say what has Big Joan got to do with Free Android Apps.?
there were a few Ann Droids in that Rex Hotel
Sorry Duncan, If you cannot give your free apps away, just have a good laugh.
Cheers
Brian.

in this case does Thingy -= 4 Bells Rum

No Rob
Too much activities with all those young ladies of the Rex,
It should have been called SEX HOTEL not REX HOTEL.
Never ever been any where like it on earth.
Sorry ladies., It was not my fault, I was lead astray.
Cheers
Brian.

They are a bit quieter South of the Tyne Brian , after the third or fourth go they just finish off the bottle of Brown , light a ciggie and fart before collapsing .