I bet we had the same girlfriend and not known it

A sailor is driving down a foreign country road one day when his car broke
down. There was a farm near by, so he went up to ask for some help.

The farmer suggested that his daughter, Nelly, could give him a ride
into town to get the necessary parts for his car. Nelly was an innocent
girl, the epitome of virginal beauty.

Nelly and the sailor were on their way into town when he convinced
her to pull over to the side of the road to enlighten her about the
facts of life. They had some down and dirty sex all over the car, and
then went into town to get the car parts. By the time they got into
town, the auto store was closed, so they had to return to the farm.
The farmer allowed the sailor to spend the night in the barn and get
his car fixed in the morning.

The next morning the sailor went up to the farmhouse to get Nelly
so she could give him a ride into town. Nelly was gone, however, and
her sister Venus opened the door. Venus was very unlike Nelly. She
was sexy, voluptuous, and really even a bit sleazy. Venus volunteered
to give the salesman a ride into town, and off they went.

Venus did the convincing this time, and the salesman had the "ride" of his life. They
eventually made it back to the farm with the parts, and the salesman
fixed his car. He thanked the farmer, left his address to they could
keep in touch in the future, and went on his merry way.

A few months later the sailor received a later from the farmer
which contained only a poem:

Were you the one who did the pushin'
Left the bloodstains on the cushion
And the footprints on the dashboard upside down?

Cause since you met my daughter Nelly,
There's a swelling in her belly,
And you'd better get your ass back into town.

The sailor thought for a minute, and wrote the following response:

Yes, I was the one who did the pushin'
Left the bloodstains on the cushion
And the footprints on the dashboard upside down.

But since I met your daughter Venus,
I've had some problems with my p*nis,
So I guess we're pretty even all around.

K.

[QUOTE=clancy;70854]i went down under last year and met up with a lot of girls who used to frequent the ships in the 60s they have there own facebook page called we are the good girls from montgomerys loads of photos and piss taking[/QUOTE

How many of us have fond memories of going down under. Still like doing it myself as once you get a taste for it, one can never seem to get enough.

Les.I don't know about these things but I'm lead to believe that once you get passed the smell you've got it licked.
Regards
Jim.B.

A son and father went to see a doctor since the father
was getting very ill. The doctor told the father and son
that the father was dying from cancer.
The father who was an Irishman, turned to his son and
said, "Son, even on this gloomy day, its our tradition
to drink to health as it is in death, so let's go to the
pub and celebrate my demise."
Reluctantly, the son follows his father to the local pub.
There, while enjoying their ale, the father sees some old
friends and tells them he is dying from AIDS.
Shocked, the son turns to his father and says, "Father,
it is not AIDS you are dying from, it is cancer, why did
you lie to those men?"
The father replies, "Aye, my son, you are right; but I
don't want those guys sleeping with your mom when I'm gone."

K.

:) does anyone remember the pinguin club at lorenco marques,mozambique.we were running in there on the british fern,maiden voyage,11 months and more,mid 60s.great place and i think plenty to share round.it was the time of ian smith and the oil embargo on rhodesia.we were running into lorenco marques and beira and the oil was pumped straight up the line to rhodesia.if we were being shadowed by the royal navy we just carried on to one of the south african ports, just as good there as we all know.
ah i remember thoes great times well,great times........
all the best lads and lasses.
i am off to tenerife,dont walk far these days,
so watch out for me on a disability scooter on my way back from the pub.......
TOM ABERNETHY ( R721582 ) :cool:

[QUOTE=Les Woodard;70879]

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by clancy

i went down under last year and met up with a lot of girls who used to frequent the ships in the 60s they have there own facebook page called we are the good girls from montgomerys loads of photos and piss taking[/QUOTE

How many of us have fond memories of going down under. Still like doing it myself as once you get a taste for it, one can never seem to get enough.

---

You know what they say mate you are what you eat!!!!!!!:p:p........:eek: Terry.

Nothing like eating the whole of it is there.

Hello Tom
Would that have been the same place as i recall named the Café Penguin ? In LM
It was a place where one could sit and watch the Girls Dancing and have a good few Drinks! And more besides!:D
My Uncle at that time 1950's worked at the Radio Station in LM as a dis Jockey and was well liked! Barry O'D as he was known! (O'Donaghue)
The trips round Africa were just great,with the Ports like LM,Beira ,Dar Es Salaam and the rest!
Good days never to be repeated!
Cheers

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Castleman

Hello Tom
The trips round Africa were just great,with the Ports like LM,Beira ,Dar Es Salaam and the rest!
Good days never to be repeated!
Cheers

---

Can't be much fun for the lads and lasses these days with all these nasty diseases that are so rife there. Somehow takes the edge off the excitement of that run ashore for a few bevvies and a ****, which was once upon a time every seaman's right.

I have also been thinking at a tangent here. Did the girls on board in the 70's go ashore with the same intent that the guys did? Just my perverted mind working overtime:rolleyes:

To that Tony
I would hazard a guess and say YEP!:)
Never had many Girls on the UCL in my time,if any they would have been Purseretts or something like that!
I cannot recall any Females in the Dining Saloons on Board Ship !?? 1958 ???
Cheers